The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

Anyone got any thoughts about Christmas alone?

I've tried to not think about it.
Supposed to be going to see family. But every single person (including extended) is coupled up.
Equally I don't want to be in an empty house here

I was thinking of a last minute holiday but perhaps too late now
 
Danny091 said:
Soo i was messaging someone i like after a while the coversation become difficult (Short replys ext) So i just thought to myself they must be busy and stopped messaging them. This morning i had a message about what we were talking about after not talking for about a week. Does this mean they are interested still or what? i'm so confused :(
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It means she lost interest because were you texting too much. Girls are very much like Cats playing with string, if you give them the string they get bored, if you keep pulling the string away they'll chase it. Don't be too available over text messaging, especially early on.

Generally you should use text messaging to flirt a bit and arrange a date, don't text her constantly. A good rule is to match their texting style in terms of how long they take to reply and how long their text messages are. Don't send 3 page text replies to her one sentence or you'll come across as being overly keen, common sense really. Just be cool and let them miss you a bit.
 
Ayahuasca said:
If she's bothered to message you back after a week she's either very bored and just wanting some attention or she's still interested. Up to you to decide which it is.
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I'm now single al4x said:
I think myself short replies are death of it

Maybe they were talking to someone else, that fell through and they've dropped back to you?
Either way for me that isn't a game I like to play

Of course that's a personal opinion
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dave1983 said:
This is what you call flakey girls, 90% is that they are not interested and you have become plan b and something better has come along.

ignore the message do not reply, leave it for about a week and see if she texts again this will tell you if she still interested.

had the same thing from the lady im seeing, we met up Monday and she told me she's holding back because she has strong feelings for me and didn't want to get hurt. All I did was act calm and cool with everything didn't reply until she wanted to meet. and we meeting twice this week.

Give girls the benefit of the doubt but if they flake again, move on otherwise you'll be to emotionally involved. Also try and make your texts fun and different women like alittle cheekiness and banter.
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Roar87 said:
It means she lost interest because were you texting too much. Girls are very much like Cats playing with string, if you give them the string they get bored, if you keep pulling the string away they'll chase it. Don't be too available over text messaging, especially early on.

Generally you should use text messaging to flirt a bit and arrange a date, don't text her constantly. A good rule is to match their texting style in terms of how long they take to reply and how long their text messages are. Don't send 3 page text replies to her one sentence or you'll come across as being overly keen, common sense really. Just be cool and let them miss you a bit.
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Thanks for the reply guy's ill keep it all in mind. See how it goes. :)

Just to point out it wasn't text messages it was facebook but your right :)
 
I'm now single al4x said:
Anyone got any thoughts about Christmas alone?

I've tried to not think about it.
Supposed to be going to see family. But every single person (including extended) is coupled up.
Equally I don't want to be in an empty house here

I was thinking of a last minute holiday but perhaps too late now
Click to expand...

I was meant to be going to Prague for Christmas and NYE, but I have a feeling that won't happen. Plus with a recent NYC trip I'm not exactly flush.

I'll just get things done around the house and meet up with friends now and again when they're free.
 
It really sucks not having any real friends. I have my groups but no one I can just say 'hey you fancy pub tonight'
Hot a feeling this is going to be a toughie

I've decided properly to lay off the dating and focus on getting it off the country next year.
Feel in complete limbo in career, and life and location
 
I'm now single al4x said:
It really sucks not having any real friends. I have my groups but no one I can just say 'hey you fancy pub tonight'
Hot a feeling this is going to be a toughie

I've decided properly to lay off the dating and focus on getting it off the country next year.
Feel in complete limbo in career, and life and location
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If you we're a little closer I'd offer to meet for a beer, although you are close enough to meet somewhere in the middle but that would mean wandering around Corby :eek:
 
Frozennova said:
If you we're a little closer I'd offer to meet for a beer, although you are close enough to meet somewhere in the middle but that would mean wandering around Corby :eek:
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I don't mind driving to corby/N'hampton. Better than sitting at home! :-P
Don't worry, I'm not as miserable in person as I appear on here
 
I'm now single al4x said:
Anyone got any thoughts about Christmas alone?

I've tried to not think about it.
Supposed to be going to see family. But every single person (including extended) is coupled up.
Equally I don't want to be in an empty house here

I was thinking of a last minute holiday but perhaps too late now
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Never too late to book a holiday, last minute deals are all over the place.

I've gone to an Island off Venezuela with four days pre planning before flight day, it's not hard..
Find flights
Find hotel
Ring hotel
Put a hold on the room
Ring airline,
Book air tickets
Ring back the hotel and confirm the room
Sort a taxi/coach. parking space for the airport.
Pack some speedos
GTFO of the UK and enjoy yourself. :D
 
I'm now single al4x said:
Anyone got any thoughts about Christmas alone?

I've tried to not think about it.
Supposed to be going to see family. But every single person (including extended) is coupled up.
Equally I don't want to be in an empty house here

I was thinking of a last minute holiday but perhaps too late now
Click to expand...

I am on the fence with this one, I try not to think about it too much but I must admit it is depressing.

both Christmas Eve and New Years eve I have the kids, but that's the most important thing atm. I am going through the process of healing and seeing how much of a better person I have become. She's doing most of the chasing and invited me for breakfast on Saturday but knowing my ex she will change that plan. Meeting my other lady tomorrow for abit of tlc ;).
 
I'm now single al4x said:
Anyone got any thoughts about Christmas alone?

I've tried to not think about it.
Supposed to be going to see family. But every single person (including extended) is coupled up.
Equally I don't want to be in an empty house here

I was thinking of a last minute holiday but perhaps too late now
Click to expand...

Millions of people spend Christmas alone and make do. You said you've given up internet dating for now but you keep thinking about being without someone making yourself feel miserable.

Christmas is about spending time with family, not looking at family members and judging their lives or partners and what they have. Your still young, you have living family try and get some perspective there are people in your life that care and want to share Christmas with you. You'll move on and find someone else in the future like everyone else does, but making yourself suffer with self pity helps no one.
 
.Lethal said:
Millions of people spend Christmas alone and make do. You said you've given up internet dating for now but you keep thinking about being without someone making yourself feel miserable.

Christmas is about spending time with family, not looking at family members and judging their lives or partners and what they have. Your still young, you have living family try and get some perspective there are people in your life that care and want to share Christmas with you. You'll move on and find someone else in the future like everyone else does, but making yourself suffer with self pity helps no one.
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This. I definitely do not see my family as 'a series of couples', families rarely behave like that.
 
.Lethal said:
Millions of people spend Christmas alone and make do. You said you've given up internet dating for now but you keep thinking about being without someone making yourself feel miserable.

Christmas is about spending time with family, not looking at family members and judging their lives or partners and what they have. Your still young, you have living family try and get some perspective there are people in your life that care and want to share Christmas with you. You'll move on and find someone else in the future like everyone else does, but making yourself suffer with self pity helps no one.
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The first point. Yep. I don't want to live round here so given up on the Internet dating, but would like to find someone. Just not here.

I know, but it will be first time since being separated that I've had such family time, and last time my ex was around. For. Myself it will be practically impossible not to think of the past. Where as if I can just avoid the whole thing (ie go away) hopefully the association won't be there... Which is what I'm hoping to do
 
I seem to be involved in an online relationship with the Switzerland lady now, she asked if thats what we were earlier after we have been talking on the phone for weeks :)
Might be visiting her for 1-2 weeks over the Christmas period :O (she asked, I'm not sure but would love to)

Her english is amazingly funny, she kept telling me she had been having wet dreams :D she meant she sweated in her sleep lol
 
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arknor said:
I seem to be involved in an online relationship with the Swedish lady now, she asked if thats what we were earlier after we have been talking on the phone for weeks :)
Might be visiting her for 1-2 weeks over the Christmas period :O (she asked, I'm not sure but would love to)

Her english is amazingly funny, she kept telling me she had been having wet dreams :D she meant she sweated in her sleep lol
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Haha. Used to date a few Swedes myself back in the day and still in touch with one of them. Up to 3 months ago (until I told her to pack it in - a relationship'd up now) she'd email me random pics of her doing all sorts of stuff and she'd chuck in the odd nude one as well. Including one of her on a beach in Mombassa .... doing stuff to herself. Always made me laugh as that's so typically her.

She lived with her equally hot twin sister and when I was round there, her sis would on occasion walk around topless in the house and think nothing strange of it.

Good times.
 
regulus said:
Haha. Used to date a few Swedes myself back in the day and still in touch with one of them. Up to 3 months ago (until I told her to pack it in - a relationship'd up now) she'd email me random pics of her doing all sorts of stuff and she'd chuck in the odd nude one as well. Including one of her on a beach in Mombassa .... doing stuff to herself. Always made me laugh as that's so typically her.

She lived with her equally hot twin sister and when I was round there, her sis would on occasion walk around topless in the house and think nothing strange of it.

Good times.
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supposed to be Switzerland ,Dunno why I mistyped the country...
But sounds a little similar, no dirty pics but she tells me things on the phone and I watched her sorting out old clothes.
No issues being in underwear on cam when she was seeing what clothes didn't fit anymore :D some of the things were from when she was a teen lol

Shes totally amazing though, such a super sweet personality and shes so nice and kind all the time.

We had a couple of disagreements over things but always managed to discuss them and move on like adults :D

shes not even slightly crazy like most women are, you can actually reason with her :O
 
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