The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
- Thread starter mattyprice4004
- Start date
to geneva
Well I took your advice and took the high road.
I told her to delete my number because she's wasting my time.
She then came out with how she doesn't want me to be angry with her and regret my decision. She went on to say how she's wasted 10 years on someone who doesn't love her (this his her ex).
I basically told her that if I was interested in someone I wouldn't have unprotected sex with someone else or sex with anyone for that matter.
Then she asked why I agreed to it initially. Yes at first when we first started seeing each other I agreed we could see other people, but when she stated she had strong feelings for me that agreement comes null and void because I had the same feelings, but you guys are right lucky I found out now than in a full blown relationship "oh sorry I feel on someone sausage and I just happened as distraction".
I told her to delete my number because she's wasting my time.
She then came out with how she doesn't want me to be angry with her and regret my decision. She went on to say how she's wasted 10 years on someone who doesn't love her (this his her ex).
I basically told her that if I was interested in someone I wouldn't have unprotected sex with someone else or sex with anyone for that matter.
Then she asked why I agreed to it initially. Yes at first when we first started seeing each other I agreed we could see other people, but when she stated she had strong feelings for me that agreement comes null and void because I had the same feelings, but you guys are right lucky I found out now than in a full blown relationship "oh sorry I feel on someone sausage and I just happened as distraction".
As much as I agree that she is probably best forgotten about, it does seem that at the time you were in a relationship where you both agreed you could see other people and never formally agreed that this had changed?
Woman is a ****. Break all contact for ever.
Soldato
Think your both at fault if you clearly agreed seeing other people was OK. When she told you that she had feelings and you responded in kind you both should have had that talk to be exclusive to each other so that both have an understanding.
She had a previous relationship for 10 years, I don't think she would be the type to sleep around despite it happening with someone recently, she felt you weren't exclusive so I can see her point.
A lesson to be learned with internet dating I think.
it's not an internet date, we known each other for years since school, we've tried a relationship when I was 18 and it never really hit off.
whilst I did agree to be exclusive that was at the beginning, until she said she had strong feelings and keen to see the children, She even cancelled travelling because she wanted to see where things would go.
Had to have talk with mine last night too.
Seeing as this was date 3 and I needed to know if she was being exclusive after what happened on date 2 and 3
I told her I wouldn't have done that if I wasn't exclusive, she said the same.
She also asked how I saw 'this' and I said serious in that I'm looking at this very much as a potential relationship, she said same
Seeing as this was date 3 and I needed to know if she was being exclusive after what happened on date 2 and 3
I told her I wouldn't have done that if I wasn't exclusive, she said the same.
She also asked how I saw 'this' and I said serious in that I'm looking at this very much as a potential relationship, she said same
I thought you was giving up on dating for awhile?
I didn't notice that bit.
If you agreed that seeing others was OK, can't really go back on it with feelings.
Definitely muddies the water.
I never had the conversation with mine prior to last night and wouldn't have blamed her if not
Had a feeling and hoped she would be exclusive.
I have to remember not everyone sees sleeping with someone the way I see it.
I had stopped contacting people. She wrote to me and I replied. And went from there.
If in any way it doesn't work out I will be leaving it for a good while.
Associate
Soldato
Well knowing each other for years or internet dating it doesn't really change things in the end, you dated each other.
I still think what I said is a fair assessment, you can have these conversations about seeing others but when you think things change and they need to stop, if you don't have a follow up conversation then I can see her point of view.
I do agree with how you see things in principle, but you can't expect everyone else to see things the same way.
If things never worked when you were 18 how come you tried again with her?
question guys!
so i have found out from a friend, where my date went wrong with this girl, it the date went really well i was a gentleman opened the door was polite ended up in a kiss at the end of the night
anyways she went all sam fisher silent and stopped responding and my thought was if she was interested she will message back.
anyways found out from a friend that i made 2 "rookie errors" i recommended we go dutch at the end of the meal we had and we both did agree on the venue etc before hand, and apprentley because i didnt pay for the meal in full that counted against me bearing in mind this is the first date we had.
and the other which is abit more personal was i was wearing my face fungus though i do always try and keep it neat and tidy but i explained it all before its difficult for me due to my ezema on my face and shaving causes most of my face to flare up etc but apprently she took that as me not making much of an effort..
in any case it is what it is but .. my main gripe was the meal scenarary id have no problem fully wine and dining a girl after a few dates ?
my friend says this isnt the case and it is for the guy to pay for the first few days..
so i have found out from a friend, where my date went wrong with this girl, it the date went really well i was a gentleman opened the door was polite ended up in a kiss at the end of the night
anyways she went all sam fisher silent and stopped responding and my thought was if she was interested she will message back.
anyways found out from a friend that i made 2 "rookie errors" i recommended we go dutch at the end of the meal we had and we both did agree on the venue etc before hand, and apprentley because i didnt pay for the meal in full that counted against me bearing in mind this is the first date we had.
and the other which is abit more personal was i was wearing my face fungus though i do always try and keep it neat and tidy but i explained it all before its difficult for me due to my ezema on my face and shaving causes most of my face to flare up etc but apprently she took that as me not making much of an effort..
in any case it is what it is but .. my main gripe was the meal scenarary id have no problem fully wine and dining a girl after a few dates ?
my friend says this isnt the case and it is for the guy to pay for the first few days..
Caporegime
Oh dear, best to avoid that one.
Id always offer to pay for first few, but I wouldn't expect to be ditched due to that.
I'm more inclined to pay if there is a little resistance. "are you sure"
I get shaving rash and have bad skin but personally I did shave (and had rash)
But again, it shouldn't really matter
If those two things are a deal breaker I wouldn't be too disappointed to have that one go.
Id be more inclined to believe she is either one of those always looking for better typess (is this online dating?)
Or simply not interested
Either way, not a keeper.. My biggest gripe is girls not just saying 'thanks but I didn't feel the chemistry'
It gives closure
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Soldato
You're better off without the girl you dated and as for your friend I wouldn't ask them for feedback/advice in the future.
Using your ezema against you is cruel, this friend of yours should have defended you.
True having thinking about it I did agree to being exclusive when we first started seeing each other, however the dynamics of the our dating changed when she admitted to basically falling in love with me and how much she wanted to see my children at some point, I kind of felt that sleeping with other women was not appropriate in this sort of situation as it would complicate things plus it wouldn't show great role model from my children bringing home a different girl each week maybe I have too much respect for girls who knows.
We had hotels away she brought me expensive meals, she wanted a threesome which I was totally into, I think the whole "STI" thing scared the hell outa me with the dating game being married for 4+ years and always being a relationship. I didn't want to be one of the guys where everyweek it's "hey I slept with Xyz I might have to get checked out and so do you" it just seemed like to much hassle for a initial relationship.
Then it would be oh it was only 2 guys, then 3 and on and on... it's kind of difficult having any free time to schedule random dates for a quick slong when you have 2 children responsibilities change. Where she's been casusally dating the last 6 months I think she's used to guys giving her all the attention for sex.
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