Worst date ever - the thread you really wanted
- Thread starter ivrytwr3
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First date was a night out, she got very very drunk to the point she was incoherent.
Met up with her a week later, she gave me a lift to my nans in the car (where I went every week before work for my tea). Outside just started a kiss, it went on to the old love bites on the neck thing for well over an hour. She had her "thrills" several times, didn't take it really beyond a bit of touching. I said something I didn't mean. She literally pulled away sat back and said see you tomorrow.
Never spoke to her again. However on getting into my nans she was very annoyed and on top of that I had a love bite on my neck that would make Dracula ask what had done it!
My neck was bright red/purple and stuck out like I had a toilet roll stuffed under my skin. Took a few days to go down and getting on for a month to get neck colour back.
2nd
Went on a date with a club singer. Nikki I think her name was. Went clubbing and OMG the innocent look she had was a facade. She was mouthy to everyone, rude, had a terrible laugh, wanted a fag every 5mins. Anyone who bumped into her she elbowed and I don't just mean a nudge I mean literally a standing peoples elbow.
Started doing it to this huge guy while tutting incessantly. I tried to pull her out the way cus a major hissy fit. Went the gents. I did contemplate doing a runner but the gentleman and principle in me wouldn't allow it.
Got dropped off after a quick kiss (and I mean quick) and literally ran in doors. Had 20+ emails the next day from her going from sweet to rage. Never replied. Lucky escape that.
Lots of stories about the ex who was incredibly difficult and I I could go back I would beat the crap out of myself and say to myself have fun then jump ship about 12months after. Domestic Violence will be on you after that!!!
Met up with her a week later, she gave me a lift to my nans in the car (where I went every week before work for my tea). Outside just started a kiss, it went on to the old love bites on the neck thing for well over an hour. She had her "thrills" several times, didn't take it really beyond a bit of touching. I said something I didn't mean. She literally pulled away sat back and said see you tomorrow.
Never spoke to her again. However on getting into my nans she was very annoyed and on top of that I had a love bite on my neck that would make Dracula ask what had done it!
My neck was bright red/purple and stuck out like I had a toilet roll stuffed under my skin. Took a few days to go down and getting on for a month to get neck colour back.2nd
Went on a date with a club singer. Nikki I think her name was. Went clubbing and OMG the innocent look she had was a facade. She was mouthy to everyone, rude, had a terrible laugh, wanted a fag every 5mins. Anyone who bumped into her she elbowed and I don't just mean a nudge I mean literally a standing peoples elbow.
Started doing it to this huge guy while tutting incessantly. I tried to pull her out the way cus a major hissy fit. Went the gents. I did contemplate doing a runner but the gentleman and principle in me wouldn't allow it.
Got dropped off after a quick kiss (and I mean quick) and literally ran in doors. Had 20+ emails the next day from her going from sweet to rage. Never replied. Lucky escape that.
Lots of stories about the ex who was incredibly difficult and I I could go back I would beat the crap out of myself and say to myself have fun then jump ship about 12months after. Domestic Violence will be on you after that!!!
Caporegime
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What? This whole story makes no sense to me. Who does neck kissing for a whole hour, and who gets off multiple times on "a bit of touching"?
Soldato
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THISNow THIS is the type of thread that make GD worth visiting. Keep 'em coming
I've never had a really bad one. But I guess the closest was going out with a girl just after Pretty Woman had been on at the cinema. There's a scene in the film where Julia Roberts prostitute character wears thigh length leather or PVC boots. Well that's what my date did. She wore PVC boots all the way from her ankles up to the top of her thighs and a mini shirt barely covering anything. But back then I was incredibly shy and very young and just wanted the ground to open up.
Nowadays I'd love it to happen
Nowadays I'd love it to happen
Soldato
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Sounds like you did well being very young and getting a girl to wear that for youI've never had a really bad one. But I guess the closest was going out with a girl just after Pretty Woman had been on at the cinema. There's a scene in the film where Julia Roberts prostitute character wears thigh length leather or PVC boots. Well that's what my date did. She wore PVC boots all the way from her ankles up to the top of her thighs and a mini shirt barely covering anything. But back then I was incredibly shy and very young and just wanted the ground to open up.
Nowadays I'd love it to happen
She did. Was quite funny actually and not what I expected making a girl orgasm for the first time in my life, did not expect a body to go from calm to violent spasms then quivvering. Yea it was safe to say that the women in porn were all liars at that point.
The thing I said was "I love you" heat of the moment probably altered the whole "I love this"/"loved that" which is probably what it meant to be.
As for neck kissing the whole hour well my neck got gnawed in but now I'm a grown man I know where direction should have been given
but still
Man of Honour
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Meh I have an issue getting dates, the ones I've been on have not been particularly bad. Just not lead to anything.
Thread has potential though, despite my rubbish input.
Thread has potential though, despite my rubbish input.
She did. Was quite funny actually and not what I expected making a girl orgasm for the first time in my life, did not expect a body to go from calm to violent spasms then quivvering. Yea it was safe to say that the women in porn were all liars at that point.
The thing I said was "I love you" heat of the moment probably altered the whole "I love this"/"loved that" which is probably what it meant to be.
As for neck kissing the whole hour well my neck got gnawed in but now I'm a grown man I know where direction should have been given
Sounds like you did well being very young and getting a girl to wear that for you
I think I wasted my youth as far as women is concerned. I had few girlfriends. Met my future wife early and was unbelievably shy. Had I known then what I know now I think I'd be a dried up husk of a person by now (having died with a permanent smile on my face)
Soldato
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Come on then, do tell...I think I wasted my youth as far as women is concerned. I had few girlfriends. Met my future wife early and was unbelievably shy. Had I known then what I know now I think I'd be a dried up husk of a person by now (having died with a permanent smile on my face)
I'm only 22 and have plenty of time...
Soldato
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I read this and then immediately looked out my window and a funeral procession went past, I **** you not
Soldato
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RaohNS is actually correct. I've made a woman orgasm just from kissing before.
It's unusual, but possible.
It's unusual, but possible.
I read this and then immediately looked out my window and a funeral procession went past, I **** you not
Uh oh. Bye Benfrills.
I guess it depends where you're kissing.
Soldato
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Associate
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Before finding my current lady I had a bit of a dating odyssey for about 12 months where I moved past the stage of short term gain and was looking for something with more long term possibilities. Given my inherent shyness, lack of opportunities to meet females in the wild so to speak (mates all married off, settled down, not allowed out to play and their respective partners knew me too well to offer a set up!) I signed up for all the usual sites, in retrospect Tinder and PoF might have been a mistake. Highlights included:
Dating a girl who I really was quit into until I found out she was "trying out" several other guys. Found out purely by accident when chatting to a extended associate and discussing current dating status and that wonderful moment of realising we were both seeing the same lady.. awkward.
Having my drink spiked with what I can only assume was some form of Ecstasy type substance. Weirdest train ride home ever.
"My mum's out on a date too tonight, we could go meet up with them" - on a first date.
Meeting a lady who was either a Photoshop expert or had hired a body double for her pictures. Proceeded to drink me under the table which lead to me thinking getting better acquainted in a bird watching hide was a fine idea Oddly this was in the country park next door to my current (just about) job before I worked there. Gives me a chuckle every time I stare out the window and see the hut.
While in conversation with a date and asked how she'd got there.. "Oh my husband dropped me off..."
Looking back, and having read some other tales posted not really all that wild. I think it was more the string of single dates where it just doesn't go anywhere.. you begin to doubt your virtues, sanity and the existence of a nice lady who hasn't got any nasty hidden catches.
Dating a girl who I really was quit into until I found out she was "trying out" several other guys. Found out purely by accident when chatting to a extended associate and discussing current dating status and that wonderful moment of realising we were both seeing the same lady.. awkward.
Having my drink spiked with what I can only assume was some form of Ecstasy type substance. Weirdest train ride home ever.
"My mum's out on a date too tonight, we could go meet up with them" - on a first date.
Meeting a lady who was either a Photoshop expert or had hired a body double for her pictures. Proceeded to drink me under the table which lead to me thinking getting better acquainted in a bird watching hide was a fine idea Oddly this was in the country park next door to my current (just about) job before I worked there. Gives me a chuckle every time I stare out the window and see the hut.
While in conversation with a date and asked how she'd got there.. "Oh my husband dropped me off..."
Looking back, and having read some other tales posted not really all that wild. I think it was more the string of single dates where it just doesn't go anywhere.. you begin to doubt your virtues, sanity and the existence of a nice lady who hasn't got any nasty hidden catches.
I grew up in a rough area & was known to be a bit of a ****/rogue/tearaway but some how had managed to get a date with a right sort from the posh estate & arranged to meet her outside the Pavilion (Local cinema)
I'm stood out there feeling all pleased with myself when a car pulls up with teh Doris in it & she hops out & heads towards me. As soon as the girls Dad saw that she was heading for me he jumped out the car grabbed her & threw her back in the car & roared off. + 
=
Another time I had arranged to met some Doris down south so we met up & she wanted to head in to town & show me around her manor. She was one of those women that have to hold your hand & drag you in & out of all the womens shops so I told her I was going to pop back into a Blokes shop whilst she went in her womans shop & Ran Away.
All I can remember at the mo but I'm sure more will come back to me during the day.
I'm stood out there feeling all pleased with myself when a car pulls up with teh Doris in it & she hops out & heads towards me. As soon as the girls Dad saw that she was heading for me he jumped out the car grabbed her & threw her back in the car & roared off.
+ = Another time I had arranged to met some Doris down south so we met up & she wanted to head in to town & show me around her manor. She was one of those women that have to hold your hand & drag you in & out of all the womens shops so I told her I was going to pop back into a Blokes shop whilst she went in her womans shop & Ran Away.
All I can remember at the mo but I'm sure more will come back to me during the day.
I once went on a semi blind date with a girl on the coast, I live in London, we had spoken on skype and she was lovely looking, jumped on a train and she met me at the station.
She gets out of the car and she about 20 stone, i'm thinking **** you hid that well, so had a stroll along the beach front, got her a bag of chips and made my excuses and jumped on the train back to london, lesson learned.
She gets out of the car and she about 20 stone, i'm thinking **** you hid that well, so had a stroll along the beach front, got her a bag of chips and made my excuses and jumped on the train back to london, lesson learned.