The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

Been with the new gf about 6 to 7 weeks now. Next week she goes on holiday for a week with a male friend shes known about 5 years. It was booked before we even knew one another, can’t help but wonder when she’s there.

A few days later I bumped into her in Birmingham shopping holding hands with the said ex, although I didn't know it was an ex she had told me it was just a friend. She seemed proper ****** off I approached her and said what’s going on....

He looked proper puzzled then she said I will call you later, so I looked at the guy and said just in case your wondering who I am, i'm the guy she’s been sleeping with the last 6 or 7 weeks, then I said enjoy your day and walked off

And now, for the last 3 days the woman I was dating has been on holiday with her ex, she has been bombarding me with messages saying she wishes it was me that was there and wants to see me the day she gets back etc

She isn’t shagging him, they were together 3 years ago for 3 years and had a house together and remained friends. Back in feb they both wanted a holiday but no one to go with so booked this one together, I didn't meet her until may

They haven’t gone away as partners she’s fed up of him and wants to tell him they can’t be friends anymore but wants to get the holiday out the way and she has painters at the moment anyway so have no concerns about him dipping the wick.
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It's been lies from the start from her - why the hell was she holding hands with the ex if they are just friends? I think you must be trolling or are very naive to what is going on.

If you want to be with her, fair enough, but you must realise they are doing the dirty?
 
The_One said:
but she wanted to go with me, she asked me to go instead of him, I tried and couldn't get the time off.....

we went on holiday two weeks ago
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Reading this thread over time I have found Steampunk gives good and consistent advice so i'll quote what he said earlier

She's meeting you straight off the holiday she spent with the other guy she's shagging? What do you think she's going to say that will change your mind or excuse her behaviour?
"Sorry The_One, I was sexing my ex, but each time he put it in, I was thinking of you, honest!"

Have some self-respect dude!
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But if you are sure the way you are viewing the situation is the correct one, then no one is going to change your mind. So good luck and I hope you are right.
 
But your previous reply when asked about going with them was naaaah :p

No mention you couldnt get time off and your post about seeing them in public did not seem aimed specifically at him.

Is ok dude we've all been there, learned and tried to tell someone else not to do the same thing. Now your'e just the someone else lol

Best of luck.
 
Richeh said:
But your previous reply when asked about going with them was naaaah :p

No mention you couldnt get time off and your post about seeing them in public did not seem aimed specifically at him.

Is ok dude we've all been there, learned and tried to tell someone else not to do the same thing. Now your'e just the someone else lol

Best of luck.
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Yea :(
 
The_One said:
she aint shagging him

they were together 3 years ago for 3 years and had a house together.

remained friends

back in feb they both wanted a holiday but no one to go with so booked this one together, I didn't meet her until may

they aint gone away as partners shes fed up of him and wants to tell him they cant be friends anymore but wants to get the holiday out the way

and she has painters at the moment anyway so have no concerns about him dipping the wick :o
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Believe what you want but unless you have kids with an ex then you have no reasons to "remain friends" An ex is an ex for a reason, not friends. If i remained friends with my ex's and kept in touch, i expect my partner to kick off for doing so.

Its unfair and disrespectful when starting a new relationship.
 
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The_One said:
but she wanted to go with me, she asked me to go instead of him, I tried and couldn't get the time off.....

we went on holiday two weeks ago
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So she went on holiday with you, then decided she would still go on holiday with the ex? Did she think you'd be okay with that, same as you'd be okay with her walking about the shops hand-in-hand with her ex?

Did they book separate rooms, or share a double? Because were you going to go with separate rooms, or share a room together if you could have got the time off work?

Did you say you were okay with this holiday arrangement with her ex, or did she just lay it out in such a way that you were convinced it was okay?
 
Steampunk said:
So she went on holiday with you, then decided she would still go on holiday with the ex? Did she think you'd be okay with that, same as you'd be okay with her walking about the shops hand-in-hand with her ex?

Did they book separate rooms, or share a double? Because were you going to go with separate rooms, or share a room together if you could have got the time off work?

Did you say you were okay with this holiday arrangement with her ex, or did she just lay it out in such a way that you were convinced it was okay?
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she rang up to cancel but because it was so soon they wouldnt let her without losing 100% of the money

all they would let her do was change the other name on the booking hence her asking me

its a twin room
 
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And yes, I know I know, I'm just as bad. :p
 
You got to think The_One, that she keeps getting caught out and every time she has an excuse when asked to explain herself. So things happen, and then you've nothing but what she says. You haven't known her that long, do you totally trust her when she goes on holiday with her ex, shares a room with him, but says nothing happened because she's on her period? Like that's the only kind of sex people have. When she's caught holding hands on a day out, he doesn't know about you, but she's got another excuse? When she's away on holiday but texting you to keep you on the line?

Some of the best liars are the ones that say the most convincing things. Though like all marks, you so desperately want to believe, you're not that hard to convince. What's she done to really make you believe her, not just what she says?
 
Said date I was supposed to go on didn't happen as she suddenly fell ill, but she fancies a drink on Tuesday. Mehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. On the upside I did watch the cricket all day.
 
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