The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

Tefal said:
I am simply an actor playing a role through life, non of it seems real.

The more i t ry to escalate to stanger and more extreme situations the more I feel its pointless.


Im not unhapoy, im not depressed im just...not happy
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I get something like that sometimes. I'd describe it as feeling like you're in the passenger seat rather than being the driver. Not a good analogy considering that I like to throw myself off of mountains! :)

I'm making plans to get out of the rut but it'll take a few years.
 
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Bit strange situation here. So I'm dating this girl. She is lovey, Eastern European, we have fun together, she is willing to travel with me, exeptuonally attractive even for the sort of girls I have normally dated, but she has something against my car. I know it's wired but she hates fancy cars and it really bothers her. I have no plans to sell it but it's one of the reasons she just wants to keep things causal between us.

She associates fancy cars with the wrong sort of guy
 
Could the brand have a negative connotation where you are? Did she tell you why? Did you tell her parents you were a doctor not a gangster? If all else fails get/rent a presentable bangarang of a car -- problem solved.
 
Dr House said:
Bit strange situation here. So I'm dating this girl. She is lovey, Eastern European, we have fun together, she is willing to travel with me, exeptuonally attractive even for the sort of girls I have normally dated, but she has something against my car. I know it's wired but she hates fancy cars and it really bothers her. I have no plans to sell it but it's one of the reasons she just wants to keep things causal between us.

She associates fancy cars with the wrong sort of guy
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Just tell her it's only a car. A nice thing to own and enjoy, not an indication of the sort of person you are (which she should know by now). She will learn to deal with it if you're important to her. It's not like you're getting drunk or sleeping with other women, you just have a nice car that she gets to enjoy too.

If she's making it into a big issue that she's using to stop your relationship getting serious, then I'd guess it's more than that, and the car thing is just an excuse. If it wasn't that it would be something else.

My guess is that the more time she spends with you, the less it will matter, unless she's got no intention of your relationship ever becoming more significant than a bit of fun.
 
Dr House said:
Bit strange situation here. So I'm dating this girl. She is lovey, Eastern European, we have fun together, she is willing to travel with me, exeptuonally attractive even for the sort of girls I have normally dated, but she has something against my car. I know it's wired but she hates fancy cars and it really bothers her. I have no plans to sell it but it's one of the reasons she just wants to keep things causal between us.

She associates fancy cars with the wrong sort of guy
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It's not the car, it's just you need to prove you're not the wrong sort of guy
 
Dr House said:
Bit strange situation here. So I'm dating this girl. She is lovey, Eastern European, we have fun together, she is willing to travel with me, exeptuonally attractive even for the sort of girls I have normally dated, but she has something against my car. I know it's wired but she hates fancy cars and it really bothers her. I have no plans to sell it but it's one of the reasons she just wants to keep things causal between us.

She associates fancy cars with the wrong sort of guy
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Doesn't want people to think she's dating a guy with a tiny knob ;)
 
cheesyboy said:
Doesn't want people to think she's dating a guy with a tiny knob ;)
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And that's why we can't have nice things in GD. :p

Steampunk said:
Just tell her it's only a car. A nice thing to own and enjoy, not an indication of the sort of person you are (which she should know by now). She will learn to deal with it if you're important to her. It's not like you're getting drunk or sleeping with other women, you just have a nice car that she gets to enjoy too.

If she's making it into a big issue that she's using to stop your relationship getting serious, then I'd guess it's more than that, and the car thing is just an excuse. If it wasn't that it would be something else.

My guess is that the more time she spends with you, the less it will matter, unless she's got no intention of your relationship ever becoming more significant than a bit of fun.
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I agree with Steam. It's a matter of dialogue and figuring out what's the problem. The actual problem.
 
Cute girl at work has agreed to go for a coffee with me at some point, never ever been in this situation before.

I presume she's got a bf at home and she's just lonely and bored as she works in an office on her own. :D
 
So on the weekend i pulled for the first time since breaking up with my girlfriend which had me feeling good for a few days as I've been chatting with her over whatsapp etc....then I found out she is wwaaayyy younger than I thought and I feel really weird now. Think it's even worse because my ex was actually older than me and turns out the girl is 13 years younger than her. Oh well onwards and upwards!
 
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XeNoN89 said:
So on the weekend i pulled for the first time since breaking up with my girlfriend which had me feeling good for a few days as I've been chatting with her over whatsapp etc....then I found out she is wwaaayyy younger than I thought and I feel really weird now. Think it's even worse because my ex was actually older than me and turns out the girl is 13 years younger than her. Oh well onwards and upwards!
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Pursue this, your ex will be livid :D assuming it's all legal and above board.

What's the age gap between you and the new girl? At 29, turning 30 in December, I'd find it awkward being with anyone younger than 24.
 
PermaChanged said:
Pursue this, your ex will be livid :D assuming it's all legal and above board.

What's the age gap between you and the new girl? At 29, turning 30 in December, I'd find it awkward being with anyone younger than 24.
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I was seeing a 23 (may have been 24) year old last September when I just turned 33.

At 26 I had a fling with a 17 year old. :eek:
 
PermaChanged said:
Pursue this, your ex will be livid :D assuming it's all legal and above board.

What's the age gap between you and the new girl? At 29, turning 30 in December, I'd find it awkward being with anyone younger than 24.
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I'm 26. Ex is 31 and turns out the new girl is only 18! (I was sure she said 21 when I met her but was pretty drunk so may have been confused :p)
 
What are your experiences with Tinder all?

I'm a decent enough looking guy, confident enough don't really fear rejection that much. Get a handful of matches daily...however you can be having a really good convo/back n forth for example with a girl and she'll just vanish. I know some might say oh your game is off or you said stupid **** etc, I'm pretty objective when looking back over my convos and they're pretty much normal. No surprise weiner pics or anything like that :D

Happens quite often. I know this is probably down to literal spam girls get I can imagine on the app, but it is quite frustrating when the girl herself suggests to meet up for example then just goes cold randomly...Maybe I should try okcupid or something. At least on there you can tailor messages a bit better.

I am late 20's and really don't give that much of a **** about actually hooking up. Just even meeting for a drink good enough, something to do :D

Part of me just thinks I should hit up the club/bar scene and go face to face. Actually find that far easier to do.
 
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Tinder is great if you're a typical Chad otherwise the majority of women worth getting to know on there will ignore you. 80/20 rule is real.
 
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