Gather her belongings, box them up and change the locks. That's lower than low.
The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
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Gather her belongings, box them up and change the locks. That's lower than low.
This is the pain talking and you want to inflict pain back, which is understandable.
But you need to confront the issue now, there's no way you would be able to put a lid on this for the next few months pretending everything is ok just for some percieved revenge down the line, it'll just eat you up inside.
Such a hard place to be at the moment. Been with my girlfriend 11 months, it has been the best relationship I've ever been in and everything is amazing. We both went in to the relationship not wanting children which was great. Sadly my dad recently passed away and since then it has made me think I might one day want children. I've spoken to her and it's a deal breaker if I do want children... I'm not sure if it's something that is going to pass once I've got over the death of my dad or if it's now something I want. Argh!
Dump her stuff and go no contact, you aren't going to be able to go 2-3 months knowing what she's done and acting normal.
What does getting that revenge do for you either? Nothing. If she cared about you providing money for a deposit, her PGCE she wouldn't be looking for other guys every time you're away at work. Truth is she'll just find some other oblivious guy to pay for her anyway.
Tip for future relationships: Don't be that guy who provides everything. It rarely ends well and makes you look like a pushover.
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This.
How old is she?
From anecdotal evidence girls often change their mind.
However you can't count on this, and as you say, you might change in future
Usually its the other way around!
The passing of your father has made you think about it but do consider it now would be a knee jerk reaction. Best to wait a while, maybe even a year or two and reconsider. Enjoy your time with her and perhaps she will come around later.
End it immediately, kick her out or move out, go no contact as soon as practical
How old are you & your girlfriend?
Abraxaz1 said:
Boot her out now. I thought I recognised your name, so I did a search of this thread for your username. It's been a long time coming, and you can't say we didn't tell you so. It's been over between you two for a long, long time.
Maybe wait until her mum is around hijacking your sofa again before revealing the evidence and what not ?
She is 22. It's hard because she lives in Scotland and I'm South of England so we were planning on moving in together but because of the fact I think I've changed my mind about this I don't want to move her all the way down here and then be like yea' sorry go back home it's something I definitely want.
Yea' that's a good point, thank you.
She is 22 and I'm 31.
At 22 i was totally adamant i never wanted kids, nothing would change my mind. But i did (change my mind) and it was one of the best choices i have ever made.
I wouldn't throw away the best relationship you have had based on this.
Edit. Also i would move her down. Live together. Take a chance, life is too short not to.
There's plenty of time for her to change her mind.
I was 24 before i met my ex and was adament i never wanted kids. A year later I was in love and could see myself having a kid a few years down the line.
I know first hand how your mind can change about this stuff!
Abraxaz1's post depressed me tbh, as in, I've been around the block far too many times now and I just have no faith in relationships....especially fidelity within them.
But now looking back through his posts, yea, this was sign posted quite a while ago.
We told him what was up and to head it off, but instead he just buried he head in the sand. Nothing got fixed, nothing got aired, and now he's in the acrimonious breakup after cheating.
Or his usual MO is that he'll disappear, then come back in a few months explaining how he gave his fiancée another chance, got married, and now she's cheating again. He's complacent, and lives in denial, because he doesn't want to deal with a break-up, so his fiancée takes advantage because she knows he can get away with it.
This mate.
Having watched a lot of cheating oartners get caught and messy breakups the quicker you remove them completey the better.
Empty any joint accounts and get your name taken off them too.
But gather every last thing phone her or her family to pick it all up at once.
Otherwise it will drag out forever.
If her family ask why then just say they'll need to speak to her. Keep evidence but dont get involved in mudslinging no matter how tempting.
Then go to the clinic and get tested (sorry buddy but this is something you will have to do) and pick up a **** ton of free condoms
22 and 31, probably will changes!
Saying never at 22 is nothing. Biological clock isn't even in her mind
With the girl I'm with now if it works out long long term I could see myself saying 'ok' to kids. I'd be fine if not however.
Mines 24 and I'm 30.and even though she says 'no' now she could easily change her mind
Saying never at 22 is nothing. Biological clock isn't even in her mind
With the girl I'm with now if it works out long long term I could see myself saying 'ok' to kids. I'd be fine if not however.
Mines 24 and I'm 30.and even though she says 'no' now she could easily change her mind