The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
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Soldato
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I have those thoughts too but few real complaints, aside from an occasional poke at the meaning of modern interpersonal relationships, and how we tend to medicate, not address issues proper. You're not alone: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/s...-having-a-partner-expert-claims-a7174146.html. (I'm on a roll with links today.
) Though part of it is a more uncertain and transient environment in everything from work/life balance to world affairs.In the end, it boils down to: what does a connection mean to you, and do you contribute best as a unit with a partner, with the compromises that entails, or by yourself?
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That article will resonate with a lot of people. Cheers for linking.
I have those thoughts too but few real complaints, aside from an occasional poke at the meaning of modern interpersonal relationships, and how we tend to medicate, not address issues proper. You're not alone: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/s...-having-a-partner-expert-claims-a7174146.html. (I'm on a roll with links today.
In the end, it boils down to: what does a connection mean to you, and do you contribute best as a unit with a partner, with the compromises that entails, or by yourself?
That article will resonate with a lot of people. Cheers for linking.
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You really think that?
Good ones are still out there, they are just harder to find.
Problem I had/have is that I get no satisfaction from one nighters.
Which means without a partner I completely lose the company aspect of life.
Does seem more people a long term companion.
And can't blame them really. Spending say 20 years with someone for them to leave you, try and take your money, etc etc it's a big risk
Do believe there are good partners out there. They are just harder to meet. And do think there are hardly any suitable to myself (for example). I found there are so many 'boring' people with literally no hobbies. Who just go home after work and watch TV. That's not for me. But seems to be the norm
Soldato
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Struggling with choice? Have some Schwartz!
For me this one of those non-partisan issues I can happily argue both sides of the coin on.
Below is another TED talk which is more or less the counter-argument to the Indy link, and compliments Berne's ideas on shame and vulnerability.
On the Paradox of Choice
In summary: faced with maximised freedom, liberty and choice, the trick isn't figuring out whether your glass is half full or half empty, but to trace where the middle of the glass actually is. Either way risk is a constant: you may undershoot or overshoot your expectations which for one reason or another have diverged from objective reality (a concrete example from the other posts above: it'd be nice to meet someone who doesn't grow boring; sadly all of us do, even if, as the video highlights, we do and choose things all the time from a huge range).
On a lighter note: BDSM has grown popular for a reason.
For me this one of those non-partisan issues I can happily argue both sides of the coin on.
Below is another TED talk which is more or less the counter-argument to the Indy link, and compliments Berne's ideas on shame and vulnerability.
On the Paradox of Choice
In summary: faced with maximised freedom, liberty and choice, the trick isn't figuring out whether your glass is half full or half empty, but to trace where the middle of the glass actually is. Either way risk is a constant: you may undershoot or overshoot your expectations which for one reason or another have diverged from objective reality (a concrete example from the other posts above: it'd be nice to meet someone who doesn't grow boring; sadly all of us do, even if, as the video highlights, we do and choose things all the time from a huge range).
On a lighter note: BDSM has grown popular for a reason.
Got a sort-of date with a really nice girl from work tonight. We've been friends a few months and it was originally just intended as us getting food and seeing a movie as that, but she asked last night if this was a date and it kind of developed from there.
Rather anxious, neither of us want things to be awkward at work but we get along really well so it has to be worth seeing what happens.
Rather anxious, neither of us want things to be awkward at work but we get along really well so it has to be worth seeing what happens.
Soldato
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Good luck 
I'm not exactly a relationship guru but my advice would be keep things natural, unforced, and just have fun!
I'm not exactly a relationship guru but my advice would be keep things natural, unforced, and just have fun!So idly browsing Tinder (horse or duck face=instant swipe left!) and have come across two ladies from work. One I knew was single the other I assumed was married. What is the etiquette for these things? Do I say I like them to be friendly? Just in case? Swipe left anyway as surely if they know you and we're interested they'd have implied as such already? Or perhaps they think I'm married?
Soldato
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Ahh, nice to see a potential success on the horizon. Keep it up, The Voice.
Like just one of them -- that'll go down well.
If you keep digitally stalking them, you'll never know one way or the other.
Waiting to get drunk at an office do is probably leaving it too long to dispel a few assumptions. No harm in wink-wink, nudge-nudge, provided you aren't in their creep zone and your general, day-to-day banter is nice and cheerful. Easy enough to play down as a harmless joke.
One exception though: if they're big office gossipers -- avoid; they won't be able to keep a secret and should drama strike, it'll propagate like wildfire through dry Australian bush.
Like just one of them -- that'll go down well.
If you keep digitally stalking them, you'll never know one way or the other.
Waiting to get drunk at an office do is probably leaving it too long to dispel a few assumptions. No harm in wink-wink, nudge-nudge, provided you aren't in their creep zone and your general, day-to-day banter is nice and cheerful. Easy enough to play down as a harmless joke.One exception though: if they're big office gossipers -- avoid; they won't be able to keep a secret and should drama strike, it'll propagate like wildfire through dry Australian bush.
Soldato
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Anyone else's Tinder down? Having a nightmare connecting to servers and has had trouble all day 
Soldato
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I doubt it. It tends to poop out now again in the UK and some parts of NE US. Probably maintenance.
Good luck! Thats how it started with my gf (not work mate)
Hopefully you don't work in the exact same room. I can imagine that might be difficult if things worked out?
5 years ago I'd call nonsense on this but I'd tend to agree with you now.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...ejan-Lovren-discovers-wife-having-affair.html
Even money and status doesn't save you.
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