The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
- Thread starter mattyprice4004
- Start date
More updates, so I went no contact over the weekend and I've had a pretty decent weekend. However whilst I was chatting to a mutual friend of both of us this evening and all of a sudden she went bezerk and started saying I shouldn't chat about her (Just said I didn't mind being her friend) but she wouldn't tell me what I'd said when I confronted her. This is a joke as I don't mind moving on and being friends (She had another male friend over) but I sure as heck won't be told what I can talk about and who I can talk to
TechMiner why do you make yourself beta? You want to fade away and become obsolete? Never ever again friend zone yourself! It's even worse than a girl friend zoning you! You want to become some kind of super beta? You don't need girls as friends, men are much better friends. You want girls to be your lovers.
If you don't have work in the morning and the sex is guaranteed, might aswell go.
I probably get on with girls better than guys myself. But most of my friends are Tom boy type girls or non macho guys. So 'normal' gender differences are not actually apparent
Soldato
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Because I need an element of certainty and security, if someones not interested then I need to be able to move on without wondering if they might change their mind
But without at least some female perspective on life we'd end up being like you banging on about being alpha all the time.
Does anyone else think that talk of being alpha or beta is a little childish (not targetting that at anyone particular)? Yes it's important to be confident, self assured and have purpose. But the term alpha just seems quite overused and silly to me nowadays.
Massively so, it just makes you come across as a skull thumping cave man for the most part.
I'd expect it's users to also spend time talking about bants with the lads.
Just going through my mail and I have a letter from a solicitor, apparently my ex is taking me to small claims court for half the money I saved as a deposit (£25k)
She barely earns when we started dating and she didn't earn whilst I put her through her PGCE, she can't really have a chance of taking my deposit can she?
She barely earns when we started dating and she didn't earn whilst I put her through her PGCE, she can't really have a chance of taking my deposit can she?
Just going through my mail and I have a letter from a solicitor, apparently my ex is taking me to small claims court for half the money I saved as a deposit (£25k)
She barely earns when we started dating and she didn't earn whilst I put her through her PGCE, she can't really have a chance of taking my deposit can she?
Were you married? If so yes, if no and she has no evidence showing she somehow contributed to it then I can't see how.
Just going through my mail and I have a letter from a solicitor, apparently my ex is taking me to small claims court for half the money I saved as a deposit (£25k)
She barely earns when we started dating and she didn't earn whilst I put her through her PGCE, she can't really have a chance of taking my deposit can she?
Ouch! That's dark! But not surprising. Was you married?
It's something I'd expect to hear in gym from people in weights section where their partners are like trophies and talk is all for show.
People don't fit into boxes and I think somewhere in between is the best place.
I cringe a little when I hear it myself. It's like a buzz word.
I'm not sure how mant "alphas" are happy, but I would guess "alphas" use it mostly to feel superior?
Personally I think the ideal is bits of both these words. Confident but not arrogant. Compromising but not a push over.
But the words I find very.. Ugh.
Not married only engaged, broke it off after caught her cheating.
She's tried to tell everyone that I cheated on her and has told them I was verbally abusive, the majority have luckily laughed at her.
I've got enough **** going on at the moment with work and trying to find a house with a tiny budget thanks to her ****ing off. To have to deal with this ****.
Generally I've found it comes from people who have had insecurities in the past and are over-compensating as a method to appear confident. Slightly worrying it also appears to have a trend in dehumanising women and to adopt a slightly bullying approach to sleeping with women.
Amusingly though if you read r/redpill (I think) it is full of "alphas" discussing with each other how to be "alpha". Which is perhaps an incredibly contradictory thing to do...
Absolutely. It rather seems like a way for those who with little understanding or trust of the opposite sex to imagine themselves in a parallel universe where they are 'Real Men'. Mature adults have no use for such labels.
No need to be concerned then, she won't get anything.
Abraxaz1 said:Just going through my mail and I have a letter from a solicitor, apparently my ex is taking me to small claims court for half the money I saved as a deposit (£25k)
She barely earns when we started dating and she didn't earn whilst I put her through her PGCE, she can't really have a chance of taking my deposit can she?
Is she taking you to court, or just threatening to? Under what grounds is she claiming the money? It sounds like nothing but a quick attempt at intimidation. I'd write a letter back to her solicitor saying that she is not owed any money, she didn't contribute, and she prompted the ending of the relationship via infidelity. If there's any further communication, then get a solicitor to make it official. Whatever you do, don't ignore it and let her get a default judgement if you don't turn up to dispute it.
She obviously has as a big sense of entitlement as she still thinks she did nothing wrong.
Because I need an element of certainty and security, if someones not interested then I need to be able to move on without wondering if they might change their mind
You seeking certainty and security isn't attractive at all and makes you desperate. You have to be confident and secure in yourself, if you can't, fake it until you get it. Don't friend zone yourself, don't ask if a girl likes you, be assertive, if a girl is being around you that hasn't friend zoned you (or you yourself) it means she likes you and you should do the escalation ladder on her.
Does the service not deliver?
