The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

I fancy boys said:
Had a good second date the other day, have found a day free to arrange a third and am thinking of calling to arrange it as opposed to just texting - this is a good idea right and not weird?
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3 dates to know if you actually like someone or not?..people take the whole dating thing too far these days,and expect too much imo,Like those dating shows you see on TV,"He seems a nice guy but not sure about his shoes or what he was wearing etc" or "something he said earlier puts me off"....WHAT! :o

I've come to the conclusion,Women are just too fussy. :D
 
PermaChanged said:
She greeted me last night with over £200 worth of bedroom toys she bought during her lunch break :eek: Not sure how comfortable I am with all of this but I'm going along with the ride for now.

I've known this girl a week.
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Enjoy it now, be prepared for her to hit 11 on the nutcase scale at some point in the future.
 
PermaChanged said:
She greeted me last night with over £200 worth of bedroom toys she bought during her lunch break :eek: Not sure how comfortable I am with all of this but I'm going along with the ride for now.

I've known this girl a week.
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You won't be comfortable once you find she intends to put half of that investment up your bum! :p

I concur with a 11 on the crazy scale comment. Been there myself (with a nympho I mean, not letting a woman defile my rectum).
 
I'm fully expecting the drama to come flooding in, it all seems a little too good to be true right about now. She's successful, attractive, loves to cook (and does it damn well), attentive and affectionate - but you can tell there's some cray cray hiding behind the facade.
 
PermaChanged said:
I'm fully expecting the drama to come flooding in, it all seems a little too good to be true right about now. She's successful, attractive, loves to cook (and does it damn well), attentive and affectionate - but you can tell there's some cray cray hiding behind the facade.
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Maybe she's just perfect. Don't jinx it yet trying to find something wrong before it happens. Just go with it and be confident, or she'll be able to tell you're waiting for the other shoe to drop.

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Why do I bother with trying to find anyone, again I've been blown out by someone that I've seen a couple of times and been chatting with for ages and getting on really well.

Another nice looking weekend turns to crap and I'm left feeling utter rubbish once again.
 
valve90210 said:
Why do I bother with trying to find anyone, again I've been blown out by someone that I've seen a couple of times and been chatting with for ages and getting on really well.

Another nice looking weekend turns to crap and I'm left feeling utter rubbish once again.
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If it helps I'm in the same boat :D chin up, it will all work out eventually. No excuse to not try - in reality you never know what was really going on behind the scenes, may have dogged a bullet?
 
valve90210 said:
Why do I bother with trying to find anyone, again I've been blown out by someone that I've seen a couple of times and been chatting with for ages and getting on really well.

Another nice looking weekend turns to crap and I'm left feeling utter rubbish once again.
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You should start by not basing your own happiness on someone else.
 
valve90210 said:
Why do I bother with trying to find anyone, again I've been blown out by someone that I've seen a couple of times and been chatting with for ages and getting on really well.

Another nice looking weekend turns to crap and I'm left feeling utter rubbish once again.
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Do you feel really sorry for yourself now?

I think the correct question(s) should be;

Why did I once again give someone power over myself and my own happiness??? Why do I invest my own happiness in other people??

Anyway, chin up old boy. Get back out there and start the hustle again. That's really the fun part :p
 
PermaChanged said:
I'm fully expecting the drama to come flooding in, it all seems a little too good to be true right about now. She's successful, attractive, loves to cook (and does it damn well), attentive and affectionate - but you can tell there's some cray cray hiding behind the facade.
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Yea, that sadly sounds too good to be true. Post again when you wake up in a cold bath with your testicles removed and your bank account empty!
 
So my girlfriend has moved to Malaysia for 2 years and she has been gone for 6 weeks so far but today it really hit me. Was driving home when Stevie Wonder 'isn't she lovely' just came on and she always used to joke it was about her and I just turned into a little bitch and started crying. Lol. Luckily going out to Malaysia in 3 weeks but bloody hell I don't half feel alone right now.

Though i may havbe been crying at the thought a blind man is better at piano than I'll ever be. Maybe that was it.
 
valve90210 said:
Why do I bother with trying to find anyone, again I've been blown out by someone that I've seen a couple of times and been chatting with for ages and getting on really well.

Another nice looking weekend turns to crap and I'm left feeling utter rubbish once again.
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Bolded your problem, don't talk with girls a lot, typically talk a little and use your interactions to arrange a meet up in person - especially if you aren't great at talking to women, and if you are you'll know you are. Women tend to get bored when they know everything about you before any sort of meaningful relationship has started, keep a bit of mystery
 
Had girlfriend for over ten years? Check.
Bought house together? Check.
Doubting that you actually love her anymore despite the fact that she is lovely and loves me? Check.
Feeling all depressed and unsure of what to do? Check.
Away on business in a Paris hotel room unable to sleep? Check.
Get on amazingly with a girl at work, despite the fact that she is in a long distance relationship and probably has no feelings for you whatsoever? Check.
Depressed and confused about all of the above. Check.
 
physichull said:
Had girlfriend for over ten years? Check.
Bought house together? Check.
Doubting that you actually love her anymore despite the fact that she is lovely and loves me? Check.
Feeling all depressed and unsure of what to do? Check.
Away on business in a Paris hotel room unable to sleep? Check.
Get on amazingly with a girl at work, despite the fact that she is in a long distance relationship and probably has no feelings for you whatsoever? Check.
Depressed and confused about all of the above. Check.
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Split and divide assets equally if you really aren't willing to work at it. You say she is "lovely" so it's probably you in all honesty. Maybe you're feeling the grass is greener elsewhere but by the sounds of it you're just being a bit of a knob. Put some effort in!

I suspect if you were to split then you'd quickly realise what you were missing. :)
 
Narj said:
Split and divide assets equally if you really aren't willing to work at it. You say she is "lovely" so it's probably you in all honesty. Maybe you're feeling the grass is greener elsewhere but by the sounds of it you're just being a bit of a knob. Put some effort in!

I suspect if you were to split then you'd quickly realise what you were missing. :)
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All excellent points. Hence the turmoil in my brain right now.
 
physichull said:
All excellent points. Hence the turmoil in my brain right now.
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If she isn't mental, isn't bleeding you dry, gives you space and and isn't rocking the boat then I'd say you've got a good one. You should be grateful. It really isn't fair to bail on a woman that is obviously decent and that cares for you for no other reason than you feel like being a bit of a tit.

This is terrible advice, but if you're really being that much of an asshat then do an escort to scratch the itch, feel bloody awful about it and then put some effort into what sounds like a great relationship. Don't get involved with someone from work.
 
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