The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
- Thread starter mattyprice4004
- Start date
Soldato
- Joined
- 22 Sep 2008
- Posts
- 10,139
- Location
- Burscough
I would never cheat on her or anyone else. There is probably nothing in it with this other girl, its just I interact with her in a way that I don't get anywhere else. You are probably all right but when this feeling starts hanging around for months, you start to wonder.
You need to talk to your girlfriend and figure out how to reignite the spark instead of looking for it elsewhere IMO. What is it you're missing, exactly? If you feel like you're drifting towards just being friends then you need to spice things up.
You've had your head turned by someone new and exciting (who isn't interested in you, and therefore is really just a fantasy in your head). Every relationship is different, and you're a bit bored and in a rut with your current girlfriend, so you've created this fixation with someone new.
The fact is that a relationship evolves, often from new, fun and exciting into something deeper and more comfortable. You have to recognise that change and make a commitment to the woman who is your life partner. You have to realise that in exchange for that new/exciting feeling, you're getting a deep emotional connection, a shared life together, experiences and time spent that winds your lives around each other in a way nothing else can match.
For the rut part, you have to work at making life fun and interesting again with your girlfriend, not just throw it all away in the hope that there is some greener grass out there, because there probably isn't.
You have to figure out why you think you've fallen out of love (you probably haven't), and fix the issue. You just need to tweak your life to make it what you want it to be, instead of running away and hoping another roll of the dice makes you happy, because happiness doesn't come from other things or other people. It comes from inside yourself and the choices you make.
I was in a similar position a several years ago. In the end I drove her away and we broke up two years ago. I still regret it now.
Soldato
- Joined
- 19 Jan 2006
- Posts
- 4,692
I'm fully confident and in control of what's going down, I'm pretty relaxed through it all too - she's intense though! The crazy in her has come out a little, we've known each other less than two weeks, she's already decided that saying we're seeing each other or stating we are mutually exclusive isn't enough so has wanted it labeled as boyfriend / girlfriend - fine, I'll go along with that, it keeps her happy!
I'm worried that I might end up breaking her heart though, she seems fully in to me and is already talking about long term plans, kids, house etc but as it's only been two weeks I'm not even sure it will progress that far, I try not to entertain the idea. If I weather this initial intensity then maybe I'll end up feeling the same way about her / us, it's just a little too much too soon for me, so I'll play it cool and not buy in to it just yet.
Been there done that so mang times.
Prepare for you not to develop feelings and for you to utterly crush the poor girl when you finally grow the balls to reject het and the time youve taken has made things so much worse
Soldato
- Joined
- 19 Jan 2006
- Posts
- 4,692
There's no need, we've been getting our cardio in other ways!
With all due respect, is that because all you were after was a fun time and not anything long term? I'm actually looking for a relationship, just not one that was this intense on one side so quickly.
Last edited:
Just don't get her "accidentally" pregnant within the next six months and you fine
Permabanned
- Joined
- 30 Sep 2016
- Posts
- 3
Nice one.
nah people just fall in love with me quickly and i have no soul so dont fall in love back.
even the people "just looking for fun" do it.
shes intense and moving fast, so you've got to decide fast as the outcome is going to be so much worse. either tell her how you feel and how you need things to slow down or end it.
otherwise she'll go rushing ahead thinking you;'re in as much love as she is and then splat.
Soldato
- Joined
- 19 Jan 2006
- Posts
- 4,692
I seem to have the same ability, to make women fall for me quickly. Everyone one I've ever seen has said I have a calming influence upon them, that they feel fully relaxed in front of me, and that things just feel right and complete.
Maybe it's because I just don't care that I make them feel that way? I don't have nervous energy because I just couldn't care less so I'm calm and relaxed too.
Maybe it's because I just don't care that I make them feel that way? I don't have nervous energy because I just couldn't care less so I'm calm and relaxed too.
She greeted me last night with over £200 worth of bedroom toys she bought during her lunch breakNot sure how comfortable I am with all of this but I'm going along with the ride for now.
I've known this girl a week.
I think I've met one too.
Been chatting to her for nearly 2 week, she drunkenly told me what she's into the other night.....
Train ticket to manchester & hotel booked.
mmmmmm
Soldato
- Joined
- 19 Jan 2006
- Posts
- 4,692
There were two LELO items I believe, a suede whip and some form of remote controlled toy, the rest was more sensual stuff like oils, creams etc
get a wand.
a good one like the original Hitachi magic wand.
seriously she got you a load of fun toys get that and she'll cling on tighter than a gibbon on a diving board.
Soldato
- Joined
- 19 Jan 2006
- Posts
- 4,692
That's already my worry, she's a bit of a cling on!
Time to find myself a permanent lady. I don't mind the wham bang thank you mam, but something more substantial would be nice. I don't have any issues with talking to women and hitting home runs but it'd be nice to have Netflix and chill rather than one nighters. Must be getting older (30 next month haha!).