The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

[TechMinerUK]

Don't take this the wrong way, but I think you're in denial. You're maybe still very in to her and are posting on here repeatedly about her and trying to convince everyone you're not actually in to her anymore. You need to convince yourself, not us, though.

Yeah, the thing is I have moved on as there's no point dwelling over something that can't exist but I don't really want to loose friends over this issue as some of them are very close to her.

 

[malachi]

I don't understand this, in the space of 24 hours I got over 100 Tinder matches using the below as my first pic and profile description.

http://i.imgur.com/dQzIg2P.jpg

So last night, I was in London as I've had some surgery today, posted the above and managed to have an awesome night out with an absolute stunner, just from a direct and honest approach. Naturally she had reservations thinking that I could be a bit of a weirdo, but we met, enjoyed a cocktail together, went to Honest Burger for dinner and then on to the cinema, she even covered the meal! Today we've been messaging still. As mentioned before I have a horrible habit of making girls fall for me, she said earlier "Jonny, I feel like we're married and we've just fast forwarded 6 years". She's planning to visit me in the hospital tomorrow after work even!

It worked because you're 6ft 3, likely in good shape and have a sense of humour, you're already way ahead of the curve, if I've learned one thing from tinder it's that women on there love tall men who don't take it super seriously with ridiculous selfies and a paragraph on why their career is more prestigious than anyone else's.

Also location plays a big part in Tinder. If you are in a capital city like London then you are going to get a higher amount of hits compared to other parts of the country.

 

[tom_e]

Yeah, the thing is I have moved on as there's no point dwelling over something that can't exist but I don't really want to loose friends over this issue as some of them are very close to her.

If they can't see she is quite obviously being a dick then well maybe it's time to get rid of them as well.

 

[RoboCod]

If they can't see she is quite obviously being a dick then well maybe it's time to get rid of them as well.

Harsh realities. There comes a point in your life when you realise you need to stop wasting it on people who don't actually care about it.

 

[TechMinerUK]

If they can't see she is quite obviously being a dick then well maybe it's time to get rid of them as well.

Harsh realities. There comes a point in your life when you realise you need to stop wasting it on people who don't actually care about it.

True, think I'm just going cold turkey over this then. Spoken to a mutual friend yesterday and apparently she's being off with them as well. Thanks for your help guys

 

[valve90210]

There comes a point in your life when you realise you need to stop wasting it on people who don't actually care about it.

Exactly why I stopped contacting my 'friends', I would literally never hear from them unless I contacted them first. I decided one day to leave it and see how long it was before I heard from them, 6 months later and not a single contact from any of them! They are dead to me now (well not really but I'm not going to waste my time on them as they're clearly not interested).

 

[Prophet]

Exactly why I stopped contacting my 'friends', I would literally never hear from them unless I contacted them first. I decided one day to leave it and see how long it was before I heard from them, 6 months later and not a single contact from any of them! They are dead to me now (well not really but I'm not going to waste my time on them as they're clearly not interested).

This is something I've experienced over the past few years. Before I met my wife I was single for 4 years and during that time I would be visiting friends almost daily. At the time it's not an issue as I'm always free. However, when I started dating my now wife I had less free time to visit friend. Notice I said that I visit them, because it was always one way.

Over the last 2 years I've had conversations with friends saying that I never visit anymore and that they hardly ever see me. I know for a fact that most of them have never visited me or if they have it was only in rare occasions.

I've now stopped texting and calling these 'friends' and noticed that they don't text me either. It's really odd because when I was visiting them it didn't looks like we were anything but 'great mates', however it' turn out that the friendships were biased one way.

This has resulted in me having more time for myself and my wife, and real friends. Sure I see less people but the time with them is more worthwhile.

 

[TechMinerUK]

Exactly why I stopped contacting my 'friends', I would literally never hear from them unless I contacted them first. I decided one day to leave it and see how long it was before I heard from them, 6 months later and not a single contact from any of them! They are dead to me now (well not really but I'm not going to waste my time on them as they're clearly not interested).

This is something I've experienced over the past few years. Before I met my wife I was single for 4 years and during that time I would be visiting friends almost daily. At the time it's not an issue as I'm always free. However, when I started dating my now wife I had less free time to visit friend. Notice I said that I visit them, because it was always one way.
Over the last 2 years I've had conversations with friends saying that I never visit anymore and that they hardly ever see me. I know for a fact that most of them have never visited me or if they have it was only in rare occasions.
I've now stopped texting and calling these 'friends' and noticed that they don't text me either. It's really odd because when I was visiting them it didn't looks like we were anything but 'great mates', however it' turn out that the friendships were biased one way.
This has resulted in me having more time for myself and my wife, and real friends. Sure I see less people but the time with them is more worthwhile.

True and I've seen and dealt with this before, however this friend is alright and openly admits that the girl is being unreasonable at the moment. At least her friends can see it so it's not just me

 

[PermaChanged]

<snip>
http://i.imgur.com/aqRiQOD.png

So last night, I was in London as I've had some surgery today, posted the above and managed to have an awesome night out with an absolute stunner <snip> She's planning to visit me in the hospital tomorrow after work even!

She did come visit me, and even brought me a Starbucks which I'd mentioned I'd wanted since arriving in London but didn't have the opportunity to get. She's such a sweet kind hearted soul who's gorgeous too. I'm back home in Guernsey now but we're still chatting away, I've got a real soft spot for her! Planning to head back to London when I'm healed up so that we can spend some more time together when I'm able bodied, Christmas markets and ice skating are on the cards.

 

[tom_e]

She did come visit me, and even brought me a Starbucks which I'd mentioned I'd wanted since arriving in London but didn't have the opportunity to get. She's such a sweet kind hearted soul who's gorgeous too. I'm back home in Guernsey now but we're still chatting away, I've got a real soft spot for her! Planning to head back to London when I'm healed up so that we can spend some more time together when I'm able bodied, Christmas markets and ice skating are on the cards.

Awwwww

Good to see some positive in here for a change!

Edit: I'd forgotten you were also sex toy man! Run, run away now!

 

[ci_newman]

She did come visit me, and even brought me a Starbucks which I'd mentioned I'd wanted since arriving in London but didn't have the opportunity to get. She's such a sweet kind hearted soul who's gorgeous too. I'm back home in Guernsey now but we're still chatting away, I've got a real soft spot for her! Planning to head back to London when I'm healed up so that we can spend some more time together when I'm able bodied, Christmas markets and ice skating are on the cards.

Careful though... first she brings you Starbucks, then she brings sex toys...

 

[PermaChanged]

Ha! I don't think she's that sort, but time will tell!

 

[Dr House]

Funny how things work. I split with my wife 2 years ago. In that time I have probably dated 5 girls and had short term encounters with maybe 20 or so girls.

Of all of them there was only one I I really wanted to be (ticked all of my boxes and good chemistry) with but she basically left me around 10 months ago because I was not working at the time and she was worried I would not make something of my self, she did not know too much of my past background only that I was starting fresh in medicine, she actually told me to get my **** together and come back to her (yah right lol). Quite upsetting at the time.

Well under a year later I see on FB she looks to be about 6 months pregnant and got married

It's the one the got away but also dodged a bullet at the same time. She had a bit of a thing for swingers and sex clubs

I have been lucky to date some very attractive girls but she was top of the pile.

 

[malachi]

Funny how things work. I split with my wife 2 years ago. In that time I have probably dated 5 girls and had short term encounters with maybe 20 or so girls.

Of all of them there was only one I I really wanted to be (ticked all of my boxes and good chemistry) with but she basically left me around 10 months ago because I was not working at the time and she was worried I would not make something of my self, she did not know too much of my past background only that I was starting fresh in medicine, she actually told me to get my **** together and come back to her (yah right lol). Quite upsetting at the time.

Well under a year later I see on FB she looks to be about 6 months pregnant and got married

It's the one the got away but also dodged a bullet at the same time. She had a bit of a thing for swingers and sex clubs

I have been lucky to date some very attractive girls but she was top of the pile.

Was this one from Prague aswell or another part of Central Europe?

 

[Dr House]

Was this one from Prague aswell or another part of Central Europe?

This one lives in prague

 

[ChrisD.]

Met a stunning lass at the weekend, got on very well, played some pool, swapped numbers etc. Then a mate of mine had too much to drink and to cut a long story short, we got a but funny with me over something trivial and then he was a little rude to the lass.

The next day we text a little but she said that ultimately his behaviour put her off meeting for a drink. I apologised as you do and said fine, you have my number if you change your mind. That's been that.

I'm wondering if it's worth me asking her again in a few days? She's a really lovely girl from what I can tell, the shear fact she bothered to even talk to me the next day whereas a lot of women would ignore tells me a lot. End of the day it's just a drink so what does she have to lose sort of message. Not sure, thoughts? Cut my losses?

 

[DrToffnar]

Met a stunning lass at the weekend, got on very well, played some pool, swapped numbers etc. Then a mate of mine had too much to drink and to cut a long story short, we got a but funny with me over something trivial and then he was a little rude to the lass.

The next day we text a little but she said that ultimately his behaviour put her off meeting for a drink. I apologised as you do and said fine, you have my number if you change your mind. That's been that.

I'm wondering if it's worth me asking her again in a few days? She's a really lovely girl from what I can tell, the shear fact she bothered to even talk to me the next day whereas a lot of women would ignore tells me a lot. End of the day it's just a drink so what does she have to lose sort of message. Not sure, thoughts? Cut my losses?

Persist dude! No harm in trying. Tis a similar scenario to how I ended up with my current lady friend. Would have missed out on 3 of the best years of my life if I hadn't pushed for that second date.

Don't go to mental though xD

 

[Fuzz]

Cut your losses with your idiot mate!

 

[malachi]

Dont see why his behaviour put her off meeting you for a drink. Abit of silly excuse to me. Its a drink with you not with your mate.

 

[ChrisD.]

She did mention she hasn't been out with anyone for a long time, maybe she's looking for an excuse not to as it's unfamiliar territory.