I've broken my life.

Yeah, you've been ridiculous, probably too late to mend now though,

I don't feel for you but you have treated your wife and kids terribly, this is something you will come to regret a great deal in the near future.

The role of the husband is to be there, and pay for things, once you have kids they are your priority.

Rant over
 
Sometimes in life your feelings have to take a back seat. If you have been miserable for that long why have all the kids??

It started after number 2. Cracks started forming and at that point I was fairly up front saying I didn't want a 3rd.

We talked and 2 years later we decided to have a 3rd, then once the 3rd arrived she decided she wanted another and who was I to stop her? I think the exact comment was that she could get pregnant with or without me at one point.
 
It started after number 2. Cracks started forming and at that point I was fairly up front saying I didn't want a 3rd.

We talked and 2 years later we decided to have a 3rd, then once the 3rd arrived she decided she wanted another and who was I to stop her? I think the exact comment was that she could get pregnant with or without me at one point.

Almost sounds like she isn't feeling it and the kids are a distraction or am I too cynical.
 
You have made some silly mistakes, sorry but you have made your bed and now you have to lie in it. How do you k ow you will be happy away from your family with someone else? It sounds like you're having a mid life crisis
 
Pregnant woman with my unborn child and 3 children, 2 of which are settled into a school that is relatively nearby.

Logically it is my house but I don't want to see my kids being any more disrupted than this already will do.

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/D...f-ending-a-relationship-unmarried-couples.pdf

Owner-occupiers
A property may be owned in the sole name of one partner or may be owned
by both of you. If your partner is the sole owner, you may have no rights to
remain in the home if your partner asks you to leave. However, if you have
children, you can ask the court to transfer the property into your name. The
court will only do this if it decides it is in the best interests of your children. If
you don't have children, you may be able to claim a financial interest in your
home if you can show you contributed financially by, for example, paying for
improvements or towards mortgage repayments. You will need to get legal
advice on this.
 
We talked and 2 years later we decided to have a 3rd, then once the 3rd arrived she decided she wanted another and who was I to stop her? I think the exact comment was that she could get pregnant with or without me at one point.

Wait, she said she'd shag another bloke to get pregnant and you STILL agreed to have another baby with her?

:rolleyes:

You're right, you've screwed your life up.

But it's not your kids fault so suck it up - just because you're destined to be miserable doesn't mean they should be as well.

So I should ignore that I'm unhappy and miserable for 18 years?

Yes - your kids happiness and well being takes priority over your own.
 
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Doesn't have to be. I've been married for 13 years and have three kids - we still have a huge spark.

I think it helps that I chose someone massively intelligent - it takes a massive amount of intelligence and determination to keep that flame ignited after the initial physical attraction wears off.

Choosing a partner that you can be your true self around and is good company helps enormously.
 
Did you make efforts to maintain the love and romance in the relationship or just expect it to stay lovey-dovey?
Marriage takes time, effort and commitment, feelings come and go with our moods.
 
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/D...f-ending-a-relationship-unmarried-couples.pdf

Owner-occupiers
A property may be owned in the sole name of one partner or may be owned
by both of you. If your partner is the sole owner, you may have no rights to
remain in the home if your partner asks you to leave. However, if you have
children, you can ask the court to transfer the property into your name. The
court will only do this if it decides it is in the best interests of your children. If
you don't have children, you may be able to claim a financial interest in your
home if you can show you contributed financially by, for example, paying for
improvements or towards mortgage repayments. You will need to get legal
advice on this.

Also 1 year into a 25 year mortgage.

I've at no point asked her to leave and I don't intend to. I am not being unreasonable in any way so it could not possibly be in the childrens best interest for her to be on classified as the owner. Also not sure how the mortgage lender would feel about that?
 
Sounds tricky for sure... but it's a little too late to feel like this after having four kids with her - It's difficult to give advice for something I've never had to experience before, but I feel like I'd just suck it up and start living the family life. You've made your bed, now sleep in it :/ Sorry to sound blunt.
 
Then it went on to her wanting to be a surrogate mother but had huge worries she wouldn't want to give the baby up.

some bad news mate, you're in a relationship/married to a crack pot by the sounds of it. not wanting to sound mean though, given what you've said so far you should have had alarm bells ringing for quite some time.
I really don't envy your situation but hopefully you can make the best of it
 
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