I don't know if I want kids or not

Rifte said:
I think a lot of this sits in real world mechanics though.

Today its usually a necessity that a couple both work. If they have kids and maintain their careers without family help they then delve into the realms of expensive childcare.

The most expensive part of having a child isn't the nappies or the clothes or the food, its the childcare or the loss in salary if one of the parents quits work.

The comparison to the East is not 100% relevant, a lot of them live in joint families which means they can have their childcare options sorted easily.
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It is an interesting point though...

There are societal issues we should fix, eg maybe looking at the reasons and fixing why the people we want to have kids are not, and why we are so reliant on foreign labour...
 
The threat of a near 50% divorce rate and fathers usually losing out financially and with access to their children is a big factor in people not wanting kids now too. The risk vs reward is completely screwed. That then leads to a need for foreign labour, as birth rates and therefore tax income, falls.
 
I am conflicted too.

Pro kids:
They could be sweet
Gotta leave the empire to someone
Would be nice to have around when on death bed
Might regret it when old
Could be fun?
Neither of us have brothers and sisters

Against:
Less money
Fewer holidays
No AMG
No quiet time
They could grow up and never see you
Less gym time
We live in a crazy world with some horrible pressures and social culture around kids

Either way, feasibly only a few years to decide.
 
Malevolence said:
For me it's a big no to having kids and an equally big no to long-term relationships. Both are money sucking parasites that attempt to change you into something else. I'm perfectly happy just dipping the wick in whatever comes along and leaving it at that. Why overcomplicate things?
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My other half is loaded and bills are split, so that doesn't have to be an issue.
 
burtie said:
I have 3 daughters and I couldn't be without them. I have one that's autistic and she is awesome and she will take over the world one day lol. I've been a house husband since 2007 and I've loved it. apart from the school run, hate it.
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What does your partner do? I'm assuming they earn more than you would have?

I only ask as I'd love to be a house husband
 
One's enough, no more for me. Couldn't stand sleepless nights and crappy nappies!

Wish I could change my son's mother though, useless, lazy ******* waste of space!..
 
redrabbit29 said:
What does your partner do? I'm assuming they earn more than you would have?

I only ask as I'd love to be a house husband
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Yeah my wife earns more than I ever could, retail store manager. I still have worked part time. Only another year and my last little one starts secondary school, so full time job for me then.
 
My daughter was amazing (and still is) when she was young,no sleepless nights,never ever cried (apart from 1 day when she has colic),always eat what ever she had.

Pro kids:
They could be sweet-they are all sweet in one way or another.
Gotta leave the empire to someone-true
Would be nice to have around when on death bed- morbid :)
Might regret it when old-no you wont.
Could be fun?-they are always fun
Neither of us have brothers and sister-can be worse.

Against:
Less money-what better way to spend money than on your own child.
Fewer holidays-save harder.
No AMG-really !
No quiet time-its quiet when you sleep.
They could grow up and never see you-make sure they do
Less gym time-get one at home.
 
ron3003 said:
This thread is so depressing, full of self-centered materialistic guys unable to comprehend that our low birthrate is condemning Western European civilization to be replaced by more family orientated cultures from the East.
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So? What difference will take make to you?
 
Hey... Original Poster here.

I've been out tonight for a friends gig. There was a guy there that made me see things a bit more clearly. About 45, a bit sad, not much to say, clearly no family or children to speak of.

Speaking to people like him has made me think that yea I definitely do want kids just so I don't end up like him. (Yes I know that it's the extreme and not everyone is like that but it's my sort of sign post).

I do want kids. Just got to decide if it's with my current partner or not
 
I'm mainly afraid of the responsibility.

I'm only just getting my life sorted out, I'm not sure I want to take responsibility for the start of someone else's life.

Maybe I'm just selfish but I'm happy without kids.
 
No time for myself, let alone kids.

I prefer animals, more self sufficient and easier to deal with.
 
redrabbit29 said:
Hey... Original Poster here.

I've been out tonight for a friends gig. There was a guy there that made me see things a bit more clearly. About 45, a bit sad, not much to say, clearly no family or children to speak of.

Speaking to people like him has made me think that yea I definitely do want kids just so I don't end up like him. (Yes I know that it's the extreme and not everyone is like that but it's my sort of sign post).

I do want kids. Just got to decide if it's with my current partner or not
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Shall we play the How Many Red Flags Can You Spot game? Because I'm on four already.
 
redrabbit29 said:
Hey... Original Poster here.

I've been out tonight for a friends gig. There was a guy there that made me see things a bit more clearly. About 45, a bit sad, not much to say, clearly no family or children to speak of.

Speaking to people like him has made me think that yea I definitely do want kids just so I don't end up like him. (Yes I know that it's the extreme and not everyone is like that but it's my sort of sign post).

I do want kids. Just got to decide if it's with my current partner or not
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I work with a guy, 37 years old. 3 three kids. He never has any money, as in ever. He's always tired, near enough obese, completely bald and always sweating, obese wife and having met the kids at an office BBQ last week, I'd rather throw myself onto a landmine than spend any time with any of them. Horrific creatures. I look at his life and see the horrors of what married life and kids can do to you.

That's sort of my sign post for staying well away from kids and married life.
 
regulus said:
I work with a guy, 37 years old. 3 three kids. He never has any money, as in ever. He's always tired, near enough obese, completely bald and always sweating, obese wife and having met the kids at an office BBQ last week, I'd rather throw myself onto a landmine than spend any time with any of them. Horrific creatures. I look at his life and see the horrors of what married life and kids can do to you.

That's sort of my sign post for staying well away from kids and married life.
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I think that's for the best. You're a miserly person who seems only focused on how not to spend money and progressing your 'career', both of which are admirable goals in themselves but don't lend themselves to kids or married life.
 
regulus said:
I work with a guy, 37 years old. 3 three kids. He never has any money, as in ever. He's always tired, near enough obese, completely bald and always sweating, obese wife and having met the kids at an office BBQ last week, I'd rather throw myself onto a landmine than spend any time with any of them. Horrific creatures. I look at his life and see the horrors of what married life and kids can do to you.

That's sort of my sign post for staying well away from kids and married life.
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You can't tarnish every family like that just because you have seen a family who do not live up to what some people call a good famuly,perhaps he is happy this way :)
 
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