Makes it even funnier the way he thinks it is day-to-day behaviour haha... "Id be interested to know what the 'uneasy reading' is. Maybe it will help diagnose my condition
The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
- Thread starter mattyprice4004
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Makes it even funnier the way he thinks it is day-to-day behaviour haha... "Id be interested to know what the 'uneasy reading' is. Maybe it will help diagnose my condition
Soldato
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To be fair to the guy I think its safe to say we've all done things like that against our better judgement at some point in our lives. The only way we really learn to get it right is by getting it wrong many times beforehand (at least I know that's true for me).
@elh_2009 My advice would be don't overthink either situation. Just get on with day to day life and if something evolves then great. In my experience, thinking about these kinds of things leads to expectations being built, and then when you finally meet it can rarely live up to the expectation you've built in your head about "what might happen". Whereas, if you don't think about it much, the experience comes as a nice surprise and this will show through in your charisma on the day.
@elh_2009 My advice would be don't overthink either situation. Just get on with day to day life and if something evolves then great. In my experience, thinking about these kinds of things leads to expectations being built, and then when you finally meet it can rarely live up to the expectation you've built in your head about "what might happen". Whereas, if you don't think about it much, the experience comes as a nice surprise and this will show through in your charisma on the day.
this is the obvious and best advice but easier said than done, however the convo with her has has come to a natural end so i will leave it there, if she contacts me again great and if not like you said just continue as normal.
Live and learn don't we! I at least didnt say anything so avoided that bullet! Got to make a few mistakes, that's how everyone learns
Arrrrgghhhh so frustrating. I've been on so many dates in the last 3 years and not really had that buzz. Finally met someone who was spot on, she started really intense and alarm bells were ringing but I went with it. All started and went too fast, texting and meeting a lot plus the extras ha. I dropped my guard and gave her a chance with the warning signals of how intense she was.
Then suddenly just disappears and says she's not ready for this all this and needs time. I'm not chasing as I know the deal.
She either changed her mind, isn't ready or whatever doesn't matter. Not been turned down in a long long time, feels rough when you've really liked someone.
Back to the internet....
Then suddenly just disappears and says she's not ready for this all this and needs time. I'm not chasing as I know the deal.
She either changed her mind, isn't ready or whatever doesn't matter. Not been turned down in a long long time, feels rough when you've really liked someone.
Back to the internet....
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So I've been on-off dating via. internet sites for about 12 months since my last long-term relationship ended (amicable split but almost total NC since then). I've not been hammering it, had about 5-6 meetings from tinder,okcupid,etc. I'm not overly confident or hugely bothered about dating most of the time, however the last dating experience which progressed into some kind of relationship has been a real eye opener.
I want to point out to a lot of people trying to score points with women and pursue romantic relationships, trying to find their soulmate or "the one". You need to be very cautious and realise that you are playing with fire, and you will probably get burnt. Look after yourself as priority number 1, focus on your long term goals, work hard on your career, nurture a core of supportive friends and family around you, and build a solid foundation of hobbies, pursuits and interests in your life that enrich and surround you with purpose and fulfilment. No relationship will fix you if you don't first off fix and look after yourself. We're all emotionally broken deep down in some way and you will get messed about, dumped, broken hearted, cheated on, abused, or whatever other ills seem to come along with the all too true mantra of 'all is fair in love and war', it's naive to think otherwise.
So I've been reading this thread often as a kind of therapy, it's usually someone else who is having a worse time than I, so I'll offer my moral support first. Personally, I feel like I've been through an emotional wrangler with the last girl I was seeing, and if I'm honest, I know that it's probably not quite over yet. I'm not really comfortable talking about all the details of what went on during and after this short escapade, but it's been a real learning experience as to the kind of relationship that can happen when you don't know any better. The kind of experience that will leave you with your guard up for quite some time, a real appreciation for how quickly a relationship can go from honeymoon to horror, especially when feelings get involved, probably why you should hold back until you are certain of them. You also need to have an incredibly thick skin and learn to be able to 'rise above' a lot of emotional crap that will be thrown your way, you need to be strong, because it will bury you otherwise!
Anyway back to normal relationship advice service gentlemen, I wish you the best of luck in all your conquests
I want to point out to a lot of people trying to score points with women and pursue romantic relationships, trying to find their soulmate or "the one". You need to be very cautious and realise that you are playing with fire, and you will probably get burnt. Look after yourself as priority number 1, focus on your long term goals, work hard on your career, nurture a core of supportive friends and family around you, and build a solid foundation of hobbies, pursuits and interests in your life that enrich and surround you with purpose and fulfilment. No relationship will fix you if you don't first off fix and look after yourself. We're all emotionally broken deep down in some way and you will get messed about, dumped, broken hearted, cheated on, abused, or whatever other ills seem to come along with the all too true mantra of 'all is fair in love and war', it's naive to think otherwise.
So I've been reading this thread often as a kind of therapy, it's usually someone else who is having a worse time than I, so I'll offer my moral support first. Personally, I feel like I've been through an emotional wrangler with the last girl I was seeing, and if I'm honest, I know that it's probably not quite over yet. I'm not really comfortable talking about all the details of what went on during and after this short escapade, but it's been a real learning experience as to the kind of relationship that can happen when you don't know any better. The kind of experience that will leave you with your guard up for quite some time, a real appreciation for how quickly a relationship can go from honeymoon to horror, especially when feelings get involved, probably why you should hold back until you are certain of them. You also need to have an incredibly thick skin and learn to be able to 'rise above' a lot of emotional crap that will be thrown your way, you need to be strong, because it will bury you otherwise!
Anyway back to normal relationship advice service gentlemen, I wish you the best of luck in all your conquests
I think there's a lot of truth in this and it's the road that I'm on.
Of course, there's truth here too but the use of "probably" and "you will" seems overly negative. Perhaps you will think me naive but I've been hurting from some issues myself so recognise the truth in it. It's just that you need to dust yourself off, learn your lessons and carry on with the elements in the first part of your post I've quoted. Love is about risks, if you become too afraid to take them then you may not find it.
I dunno, I echo much of your sentiments but think that positivity is the way to drive it forward, rather than assuming that it will go wrong. Protect yourself, sure, but you have to remain open, even if that means an element of vulnerability. I'm still learning that myself.
Good luck to all
Yes mate, sucks. Been through something very similar myself this year.
Whereas I've approached life matters very rationally it's opened all these emotional doors in the ol'noggin that I can't apply rational control over. It's blummin' irritating!
As in the posts just above, just concentrate on your self and remain hopeful. Gotta keep on keeping on! Onwards, upwards.
Very true, I think the breakup for me has brought up a lot of realisations and reflections I wouldn't necessarily of had otherwise, so that in itself IS positive, unfortunately it's also meant facing up to a lot of home truths that are uncomfortable to deal with on top of everything else.
Almost exactly the same experience as myself (except I remained in contact far too much and for far too long afterwards). Going no-contact in these situations can really help 'clear your head' - you don't have the closure you want, but it's definitely less confusing and more respectful in the long run for both parties.
Just been through the same. Some crazy stuff went on, which as left me as a bit of an emotional wreck.
Thanks, I think letting my guard down for the first time in years and finally liking someone has hit me double hard. Also keeping the lid on my anxiety disorder is always a challenge at the same time.
It never seemed this complicated before I hit 30+!
Yes I'm determined not to fall into the trap of contacting her, its difficult. I've always given my friends the advice to never text as if someone really wants something they would have never done that or will make the effort to rectify it.
The whole episode has really set my anxiety off.
I'm not sure whether I need a rant or some advice, but I've had this issue running through my head for a week or so now and still can't work it out.
I've been dating a girl for the last nine months or so - she's fantastic, we get on really well when we're together, and we both see a serious future there (for context, I'm 30 and both of us are ideally looking for something serious, provided it's right. We've both said we love each other, and when she moves back to England we have seriously discussed living together). However, she works abroad (usually the Far East or Australasia), and is currently away until October, with a week back in July. There is no end date to this employment (ie she will be sent away on another project in October, and so on until she finds herself a different job in England). She has suggested that she will try to find a job in England again, but whether that will ever come to fruition I've no idea. When we're apart we both find it tough, we don't communicate all that well, we argue a lot etc, and frankly it affects my life more than it should.
There is another girl who I met a few months ago, and I've got to know (we've met at industry events/talks etc) quite well. Nothing has ever happened with her beyond brief hello/goodbye hugs, but we've been climbing and for food a few times, message quite a lot, are starting to develop our own in-jokes, etc. This girl is also fantastic, we get on brilliantly, are really similar with similar interests, humour etc. However, I've no idea if she still sees me as a potential date/boyfriend, or if we are now firmly friends and that's that. I don't feel right in "trying" anything with her, without ending it with the first girl, but equally ending a serious relationship with somebody I genuinely care about for the chance that another girl might like me seems like a ridiculous idea.
No idea what to do
.
TLDR - in a good relationship with a girl which could/should have a serious future, but she's currently working abroad indefinitely and it's horribly tricky. Have met another girl who is fantastic and we get on really well, but no idea if she likes me in that way, and even if she did I can't decide whether to end it with the first girl for her.
I've been dating a girl for the last nine months or so - she's fantastic, we get on really well when we're together, and we both see a serious future there (for context, I'm 30 and both of us are ideally looking for something serious, provided it's right. We've both said we love each other, and when she moves back to England we have seriously discussed living together). However, she works abroad (usually the Far East or Australasia), and is currently away until October, with a week back in July. There is no end date to this employment (ie she will be sent away on another project in October, and so on until she finds herself a different job in England). She has suggested that she will try to find a job in England again, but whether that will ever come to fruition I've no idea. When we're apart we both find it tough, we don't communicate all that well, we argue a lot etc, and frankly it affects my life more than it should.
There is another girl who I met a few months ago, and I've got to know (we've met at industry events/talks etc) quite well. Nothing has ever happened with her beyond brief hello/goodbye hugs, but we've been climbing and for food a few times, message quite a lot, are starting to develop our own in-jokes, etc. This girl is also fantastic, we get on brilliantly, are really similar with similar interests, humour etc. However, I've no idea if she still sees me as a potential date/boyfriend, or if we are now firmly friends and that's that. I don't feel right in "trying" anything with her, without ending it with the first girl, but equally ending a serious relationship with somebody I genuinely care about for the chance that another girl might like me seems like a ridiculous idea.
No idea what to do
.TLDR - in a good relationship with a girl which could/should have a serious future, but she's currently working abroad indefinitely and it's horribly tricky. Have met another girl who is fantastic and we get on really well, but no idea if she likes me in that way, and even if she did I can't decide whether to end it with the first girl for her.
She's a better climber than me thoughIf you argue a lot then why bother.
Take this new girl to Glencoe and dazzle her with your climbing abilities on 'YoYo'. Worked for me.
Yes
A r
Even better she gets to lead while your enjoy the view lol
She's a better climber than me though
Even better
she gets to lead while your enjoy the view lol