I posted my views on page 1 or 2 in respect of this from the point of view of someone who lost a close relative with a terminal illness. An illness that resulted in my father living in a vegetative state.
First and foremost I do not blame the parents at all for extending their son's life with court hearing after court hearing etc. What they are clinging onto is two things :
1)Hope. Despite popular medical opinion that nothing can be done to save their son's life, and even if they could his quality is life would be that poor that it is cruel, the reality is for the PARENTS is that no one knows for sure. We are not talking about rolling the dice against the odds, we are talking about two parents who are trying to do EVERYTHING that they can do to try and give their most precious belonging a chance of life. God forbid any of us are in a similar situation ever but I know that if I was in their shoes I would take whatever chance I had, however slim. The parents also do not believe that their son is in any pain, how this can be measured in Charlie who is not able to respond at all is another thing, but they believe that their son is not suffering.For them there is no cost at the moment.
2)The fight. My mother looked after my bed ridden father for the last few years of his life so he could stay at home and have some form of normality in his **** poor existence. When my father eventually passed away apart from the physical presence of missing her husband, my mother missed most of all the daily struggle of trying to maintain his existence. In her head despite his suffering, it meant that he was still alive. The bed washes, the feed bags, the intravenous drugs administered daily, dressing him, shaving him, changing his TV channels, talking to him when she knew he could not communicate back. To let go of all of that meant let going of my father,and accepting the conclusion which eventually came. I suppose my point is that matters of the heart dont always see logic however much it is thrust upon them.
Sure the courts are there to protect Charlie and any other patient from relatives who might not make the right decision. These parents need closure themselves before they are willing to accept that Charlie is gone, they need to know that they have done EVERYTHING that was suggested to them to save their little boy's life. Its impossible for them to get closure by a doctor reading of his charts or his medical journal that this last hope might or might not work.
When they lose hope, everything is gone, and at the moment there is a chance, however small, however minute, however mathematically irrelevant that things could turn around for their son, and they would feel negligent to give up on that hope because it means giving up on their son. Just remember, they dont believe that their son is in any pain, for them the cost of this is nil.
First and foremost I do not blame the parents at all for extending their son's life with court hearing after court hearing etc. What they are clinging onto is two things :
1)Hope. Despite popular medical opinion that nothing can be done to save their son's life, and even if they could his quality is life would be that poor that it is cruel, the reality is for the PARENTS is that no one knows for sure. We are not talking about rolling the dice against the odds, we are talking about two parents who are trying to do EVERYTHING that they can do to try and give their most precious belonging a chance of life. God forbid any of us are in a similar situation ever but I know that if I was in their shoes I would take whatever chance I had, however slim. The parents also do not believe that their son is in any pain, how this can be measured in Charlie who is not able to respond at all is another thing, but they believe that their son is not suffering.For them there is no cost at the moment.
2)The fight. My mother looked after my bed ridden father for the last few years of his life so he could stay at home and have some form of normality in his **** poor existence. When my father eventually passed away apart from the physical presence of missing her husband, my mother missed most of all the daily struggle of trying to maintain his existence. In her head despite his suffering, it meant that he was still alive. The bed washes, the feed bags, the intravenous drugs administered daily, dressing him, shaving him, changing his TV channels, talking to him when she knew he could not communicate back. To let go of all of that meant let going of my father,and accepting the conclusion which eventually came. I suppose my point is that matters of the heart dont always see logic however much it is thrust upon them.
Sure the courts are there to protect Charlie and any other patient from relatives who might not make the right decision. These parents need closure themselves before they are willing to accept that Charlie is gone, they need to know that they have done EVERYTHING that was suggested to them to save their little boy's life. Its impossible for them to get closure by a doctor reading of his charts or his medical journal that this last hope might or might not work.
When they lose hope, everything is gone, and at the moment there is a chance, however small, however minute, however mathematically irrelevant that things could turn around for their son, and they would feel negligent to give up on that hope because it means giving up on their son. Just remember, they dont believe that their son is in any pain, for them the cost of this is nil.
