Just dropped the children off, had them from thursday and she wants me to have then Monday and Tuesday. I said I would have them on Monday but Tuesday I was busy and off she went. Now saying I will have to go to court to see them. I have bent over backward for her in regards to our children and the first time I say I can't have them, boom of she goes. There is just on reason for it other than being a controlling prat. She can kiss this part of her support network good bye.
Just dropped the children off, had them from thursday and she wants me to have then Monday and Tuesday. I said I would have them on Monday but Tuesday I was busy and off she went. Now saying I will have to go to court to see them. I have bent over backward for her in regards to our children and the first time I say I can't have them, boom of she goes. There is just on reason for it other than being a controlling prat. She can kiss this part of her support network good bye.
I feel your pain brother, I've been in this situation so many times... best advice I can give is despite how angry you feel stay calm, communicate via text message so you have a record and just be reasonable, if it goes to court she'll get away with murder because you're just a dad you don't count as much cause you have a penis.
don't like it makes me be a tit but I cant quite figure out why.
im sure by now most of you know i have a fairly unconventional love life so im usually pretty distant from people but latley feeling all broody and wanting a relationship.
but on the otherwise I'm now feeling morre affected by the actions of others which is irritating.
I think that's pretty normal after a period of sleeping around to be honest, similar to how many in monogamous relationships sometimes wish they could be fooling around with someone new and exciting. Do any behaviour for long enough and it makes you question what the other side would be like.
Has someone in particular caught your eye or is it just a feeling as a whole?
I think that's pretty normal after a period of sleeping around to be honest, similar to how many in monogamous relationships sometimes wish they could be fooling around with someone new and exciting. Do any behaviour for long enough and it makes you question what the other side would be like.
Has someone in particular caught your eye or is it just a feeling as a whole?
been speaking to a girl I dated for a short while this time last year I think its easily recoverable to a **** buddy situation but given distance and some other things a relationship would be impossible with her for at least 3 years.
but I dont really want a relationship with her, I did the first time now its more shes very attractive and good in bed.
I suppose part of it is I jist miss the openness in a proper relationship to talk and communicate vs the kuch more closed off nature of fwb/one night stands
I feel your pain brother, I've been in this situation so many times... best advice I can give is despite how angry you feel stay calm, communicate via text message so you have a record and just be reasonable, if it goes to court she'll get away with murder because you're just a dad you don't count as much cause you have a penis.
I know all about the court system, I have been through it and won, if you would call it winning, in the end its gut wrenching for all involved. The court system is prejudice against men from the get go, I will let her get on with it and if she carries through then I will deal with it there. Silly thing is I was having the children 4 or 5 days a week, with her being child free most of the weekend with her new man. I had no problem with it it helped her and I like spending time with my children. I guess she didn't like me saying no, controlling so and so.
been speaking to a girl I dated for a short while this time last year I think its easily recoverable to a **** buddy situation but given distance and some other things a relationship would be impossible with her for at least 3 years.
but I dont really want a relationship with her, I did the first time now its more shes very attractive and good in bed.
I suppose part of it is I jist miss the openness in a proper relationship to talk and communicate vs the kuch more closed off nature of fwb/one night stands
Sounds like you are feeling lonely, pick the right one and its great. Don't let unlucky sods like me put you off, I have had two wrong ones and have been playing Russian roulette for the last 12 years, but even then there was a lot of good times.
im sure by now most of you know i have a fairly unconventional love life so im usually pretty distant from people but latley feeling all broody and wanting a relationship.
Ha, yeah know about your love life Tefal. Quite the adventure!never done it myself.
I guess it happens to a lot of people. Eventually they settle down.
Similar question.
Was the fwb etc etc a sudden thing that you did or gradual progression?
And how long has it been a thing for (if you know!)
And how old are you?
You probably know women quite well, and can probably make a decision as to if any of the fwb type you know are trouble or potential gf material.
It's interesting for me as I don't really understand the fabric mentality. It's just never been a thing for me. Which is probably a bad thing.. Few partners!
I have bounced back from this way quicker than I ever imagined possible. That weekend I spent with my aunt seems to have been the key. It's almost like something she said has changed my whole outlook and ever since I came back from that visit, my mindset has been totally different.
I've fully accepted my marriage is over and I'm past the tearful stage - I haven't cried or felt particularly down for the last week-and-a-half. I'm thinking far more about my future and the opportunities it now presents, in terms of personal freedom. I've taken up cooking for myself, mainly because, let's face it I have to (I wasn't hopeless in the kitchen, but my range didn't extend much beyond what I'd call 'student' food ... one-pot stuff like chilli-con-carne), but also as a personal challenge.
I had a beer last week with one of my sister-in-law's ex-boyfriends, a guy who I'd always been great mates with because we had so many shared interests - we'd stayed in touch since they split, but it was the first time we'd met face-to-face for around four years. It's one of those great friendships where that intervening time doesn't count for anything and you just pick up where you left off. There'll be more to follow and we're looking into going to the Ipswich v Norwich game next month. And, poking fun at my situation (another sign of my more positive mindset), I pointed out that we now have yet another thing in common, having both been screwed over by sisters from the same family ...
Speaking of family, mine continue to be utterly the best - I speak to my brother a couple of times a week now and we're off to the cinema tomorrow to see Stephen King's IT. Going to see my Mum this coming weekend for, I'm ashamed to say, the first time since Christmas. All have commented on my vastly different mindset - with much relief, as they were worried sick about how I was a couple of weeks ago.
My wife's behaviour hasn't altered much - she's still being evasive with both me and her own family. Her Mum has tried to act as a mediator the last couple of days, not to try and get us back together, but to at least get us talking and make the splitting-up process more amicable. I had a 90-minute phone call with her last night and she's under the impression that my wife is shutting herself away because of a combination of thinking her own family are against her (in reality, they understand WHY she's ended our marriage, but they don't approve of HOW she's done it) and being wracked with guilt about tearing me apart. Almost metaphorically sitting in the corner with her fingers in her ears was how her Mum put it. I've often thought she's having a mid-life crisis, but now I'm wondering if it's almost a mini-breakdown.
She seems particularly concerned with what her Dad thinks about what she's done - typical father-daughter bond, I suppose. He hasn't said much because he's got enough of his own to deal with at the moment - one of his sisters died last week. This process will be so much easier if my wife and I are actually on friendly terms and I've asked her Mum to try and do what she can to bring it about - I've stressed my acceptance of the situation and that there's no longer any malice on my part.
Lastly, I have briefly spoken to a solicitor and will be making an appointment to speak to them in the next couple of weeks. I'd like to keep their involvement to a minimum, mainly for the sake of my own wallet, but also to keep the process as simple as possible - I remain hopeful, but not complacent, that we can see the process through without it getting nasty.
A little update on my situation. My ex wife came around the other day to see the cats, looking at her with the rose tinted glasses off. I do not know what I saw in her. I think she was actually looking at me with loathing in her eyes. She has got her doctorate and now moved to Scotland with a new job. I really do not want anything to do with her after the feeling of betrayal from her. It is like your best friend or soulmate (i thought) stabbing you in the back and not telling you how they feel.
I'm now hopefully on my first date through soulmates on Friday.
It has now been 8 months since the split, no decision on the property yet but that is coming. It just takes time i think.
Could do with a sounding board for a delicate situation which has developed within my friendship circle. Bare with me as I need to set a tiny bit of back story and may be a bit confusing.
Jim and Jen had been together for 8 years, not married, but split up earlier this year.
Beth and Ben had been together for 6 years, not married, but again, split up a couple months back.
Jim, Jen, Beth, Ben etc were all part of the same circle of friends. Since the split Jen is no longer really seen by any of the group as she has reverted back to her other friends who she had prior to getting with Jim, all good. Ben however is still part of the group and comes out from time to time, to the behest of Beth as she feels he is impeding on her group of friends.
Finally, Beth and Jim have been very good friends, near enough best mates for about 10 years but have both been in relationships for much of their time knowing each other and Jim is going to Australia for 9 months until next Summer in a few weeks.
Right that is the back story done. To cut a long story short Beth and Jim got close a few weeks ago and ended up seeing each other discreetly for a couple of weeks (as they didn't want Ben to find out, and Ben was Jim's friend). Now Beth, Jim, and Ben and about 12 other people were all due to go on holiday together and prior to this Beth and Jim both ended up developing very strong feelings for each other in a very short space of time, however their little bout of seeing each other was found out by one of Beth's friends, who subsequently told 2 of her best friends (who were also 2 of Jim's supposed best friends too) and have basically gave Beth absolute hell about seeing Jim.
They've said the usual stuff about why would you throw away a friendship with your ex over a "fling" with Jim and its not right and it shouldnt be happening and how Beth and Jim have both betrayed people and so on and so forth - basically treating Beth and Jim like children (baring in mind they are both over 30) and reacting in a way that you wouldnt particularly expect your supposed best friends to react. It all came to a head when everyone got back from the hols and one friend sent a very lengthy WhatsApp message to both Jim and Beth saying the above about betraying friends and how they couldnt stand to look at them whilst on hols as they were always together, and going for lunch and buying each other drinks (all of which isn't true).
Now.........whilst not being an ideal situation that Jim and Ben are both friends a little (but dont see each other that often) what business is it of anyone else what Jim and Beth get up to? My view is that Ben will slowly fade from the main group of friends as he was only friends with people through Beth anyway and he wont be around as much in the future anyway. Jim has been very close to telling them all to ******** mind their own business too but for the sake of their friendships he hasn't done. It has also put a sour point over what was a very positive relationship for both Beth and Jim and something that may potentially have gone somewhere had Jim not been going to Australia and had a couple of specific friends not thrown their 2p in when it wasnt asked for and put a splinter in the relationship.
Im of the opinion that everyone should mind their own business and concentrate on their own lives and pretty much most of the people who i've explained this sitch too think the same but 2 of Jim and Beths very close friends seem to have taken exception to it massively and have basically caused so much stress for Beth that she's put the breaks on seeing Jim even though they still wanted to see each other before Jim went to Oz.
What does everyone else think? Have Jim and Beths friends overreacted? Its causing some friction between others in our group and its like they are constantly watching Jim and Beth all the time now I know Jim and Beth seeing each other probably wasnt the right thing for that time but people get over it and get on with life anyway as they are both adults and both single.
There may or may not be a thinly veiled attempt to mask my identity in this situation
What does everyone else think? Have Jim and Beths friends overreacted? Its causing some friction between others in our group and its like they are constantly watching Jim and Beth all the time now I know Jim and Beth seeing each other probably wasnt the right thing for that time but people get over it and get on with life anyway as they are both adults and both single.
There may or may not be a thinly veiled attempt to mask my identity in this situation
Beth & Jim are grownups. If they find happiness with one another, real friends would be happy for them. If Beth is allowing a couple of so-called "friends" to put the blocks on it instead of telling them they are being bad friends, then she's really not that into Jim, and she sees it as a short term rebound.
Beth & Jim are grownups. If they find happiness with one another, real friends would be happy for them. If Beth is allowing a couple of so-called "friends" to put the blocks on it instead of telling them they are being bad friends, then she's really not that into Ben, and she sees it as a short term rebound.
After another 5 weeks of not coping, thinking about my ex to the point of obsession, and begging her to take me back on 2 occasions, being firmly rejected, and then losing my **** I've decided to seek counselling. My rational mind when it manages to push to the forefront tells me I'm projecting all my issues onto what was for the most part a very average relationship and I'm clinging to it like a life raft. Unfortunately my rational mind doesn't get much of look in most of the time.
After another 5 weeks of not coping, thinking about my ex to the point of obsession, and begging her to take me back on 2 occasions, being firmly rejected, and then losing my **** I've decided to seek counselling. My rational mind when it manages to push to the forefront tells me I'm projecting all my issues onto what was for the most part a very average relationship and I'm clinging to it like a life raft. Unfortunately my rational mind doesn't get much of look in most of the time.
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