The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

[Gabbatek]

No **** Sherlock.

I don't think anyone will tell Ben. Not many people know and those that do have no reason to.

If it comes out in 6,9,12 months time then so be it. He should have moved on and tbh doesn't really seem like the break up has bothered him in the slightest anyway so I'd hazard a guess that whilst not being ideal, he wouldn't care much as he is getting on with his life too.

or he will break your nose out of principle

 

[Gabbatek]

+1 Well said.

R.O.S.S.I you really dont know the meaning of a friendship do you?, people bring their partners to the circle because of their trust in that circle, you and people like you are the reason why people dont involve their partners with their so called friends lol.
if you think this is ok then lets all have Jerry Springer style relationships all over the world, hell why not xD, just because you are on the receiving end you are ok with it, once you become Ben then please repeat your words that this is ok. Its just lame xD

People after long relationships specially womans go through emotional times and you took advantage of this. Bad very bad.

this. Its okay when you're the one balls deep but when it's your ex being savaged by your friend remember, it's all good.

 

[NewGamer11]

Plot twist - Beth and Ben get back together while Rossi is in Oz.

 

[R.O.S.S.I]

Plot twist - Beth and Ben get back together while Rossi is in Oz.

Good for them if they do but I can't see it happening haha!

this. Its okay when you're the one balls deep but when it's your ex being savaged by your friend remember, it's all good.

Genuinely not bothered in the slightest what my ex gets up to. Plus there are no people who I'm friends with who she was best mates with prior to us meeting so she can fill her boots with whoever she sees fit!

or he will break your nose out of principle

It would probs be a little weird for him but he seems to have gotten over Beth very quickly anyway from what I've seen so not even sure he'd be that bothered on the whole. He'd get over it.

 

[krooton]

this. Its okay when you're the one balls deep but when it's your ex being savaged by your friend remember, it's all good.

Depends really. If Ben ended it, or it was mutual, I say no harm, no foul.

If she dumped Ben, and he is still pining for her, then yeah it's a bit of a richard move, but from what we've been told (albeit from Jim's perspective) I don't see this the case.

It would be full on drama in a group of under-25s, but people in their 30s should grow up and let others get on with their lives.

 

[DrToffnar]

Had something similar happen twice in the same friendship group. It's all relative of course, but we barely see each other anymore as a result of it all.

I don't think it's fair to go after a friends ex partners personally, but hey ho.

 

[alx]

Depends really. If Ben ended it, or it was mutual, I say no harm, no foul.

If she dumped Ben, and he is still pining for her, then yeah it's a bit of a richard move, but from what we've been told (albeit from Jim's perspective) I don't see this the case.

It would be full on drama in a group of under-25s, but people in their 30s should grow up and let others get on with their lives.

This. As seems to have been suggested, Ben doesn't seem that bothered.

It's not so much the action that's the issue, it's the effect it has. If everyone is happy then there isn't really any harm, although whether this was considered at the start who knows....

 

[BaroUK2]

LoL R.O.S.S.I, If 95% of your friends think this is ok , that also means 95% of your friends are ready to have a fling with your exs, some friends you have there xD

If this was a love story i can understand but you two finished it already. So nope not happening with my friends......

 

[ChrisD.]

I don't think it's fair to go after a friends ex partners personally, but hey ho.

My thoughts as well. Been there and it's never ended well.

 

[Tefal]

Yup suppose it is approval as I think it's bang out of order how a couple of people have reacted. Nice to know they are an extreme minority.

Ben has no idea and never will find out tbh. He has his own group of friends which he has defaulted back to.

but they aren't a minority, the majority of the people here have said it was a dick move.

and seriously you think the second you started going out with his ex somone wasn't right on texting ben with "hey man you know Bill is seeing your ex?"

 

[Orcish-Horde]

The EX has just going postal, I need a Hug!

Just dropped the children off, had them from thursday and she wants me to have then Monday and Tuesday. I said I would have them on Monday but Tuesday I was busy and off she went. Now saying I will have to go to court to see them. I have bent over backward for her in regards to our children and the first time I say I can't have them, boom of she goes. There is just on reason for it other than being a controlling prat. She can kiss this part of her support network good bye.

Vent.................

Well, she backed down rather quickly and has all but dumped the children on me, which is the the norm and I don't mind as they keep me busy and them safe. Had a nosey on facebook and it looks like something has happened between her and her new man, which if they fall out is not so great for me as she is likely to leave town, with my kids. As it is she is making a right fool of herself, I have come to the conclusion that she is a narcisist(how she behaved in the relationship) and seems to be trying to stage manage her appearence and spin our breakup. She changed her relationship status to in a relationship with her new man and one of her friends asked "Are you not enaged to your children's father"? Which was deleted rather quickly, her relationship status was changed again and I have noticed she is not getting the responses she would normally get on facebook. The next day she sent me a text stating that she needed a friend, I tried talking to her after dropping the children off and her home was a total mess and she was fighting to hold herself together. She didn't want to talk about what was wrong so I offered her a hug which she accepted. Hopefully, they are back together as I am getting over things and I am truely moving on, last thing I want to do is end up emotionally envolved with her again as that hug could very quickly have led to a lot more. Breakups are so much easier when they are no children forcing interaction. Any why just thinking out loud........

 

[Orcish-Horde]

You've got to be honest with yourself first and foremost, you don't just suddenly find someone sexually attractive now they're out of a relationship, it was there before you just didn't want to entertain those thoughts because you couldn't or should I say wouldn't act on them.

That is the very thing, he has been thinking about her since they first meet and has wanted to bone her but was cockblocked.

 

[R.O.S.S.I]

Depends really. If Ben ended it, or it was mutual, I say no harm, no foul.

If she dumped Ben, and he is still pining for her, then yeah it's a bit of a richard move, but from what we've been told (albeit from Jim's perspective) I don't see this the case.

It would be full on drama in a group of under-25s, but people in their 30s should grow up and let others get on with their lives.

It was a mutual split. They both agreed it wasn't working and that it was best they go their separate ways. No one dumped the other they both agreed it was the right thing to do.

Had something similar happen twice in the same friendship group. It's all relative of course, but we barely see each other anymore as a result of it all.

I don't think it's fair to go after a friends ex partners personally, but hey ho.

No one has "gone after" stuff happened and it's ended now so i'm just trying to guage opinion!

LoL R.O.S.S.I, If 95% of your friends think this is ok , that also means 95% of your friends are ready to have a fling with your exs, some friends you have there xD

If this was a love story i can understand but you two finished it already. So nope not happening with my friends......

Or a lot of my friends are supportive of me and want me to be happy haha

and seriously you think the second you started going out with his ex somone wasn't right on texting ben with "hey man you know Bill is seeing your ex?"

We were never "going out" only a handful of people knew, most were her friends who would never whisper a word to anyone and weren't bothered (bar the couple who made a fuss) and the others were my best mates who again weren't bothered and would never tell him.

 

[BaroUK2]

Or a lot of my friends are supportive of me and want me to be happy haha

lol we can see how supportive you have been, what goes around comes around, i still believe you will not like it when your ex and your friend does the same thing...

 

[Tefal]

It was a mutual split. They both agreed it wasn't working and that it was best they go their separate ways. No one dumped the other they both agreed it was the right thing to do.



No one has "gone after" stuff happened and it's ended now so i'm just trying to guage opinion!



Or a lot of my friends are supportive of me and want me to be happy haha



We were never "going out" only a handful of people knew, most were her friends who would never whisper a word to anyone and weren't bothered (bar the couple who made a fuss) and the others were my best mates who again weren't bothered and would never tell him.

so when things with you and Beth fall apart which way do you think the group will go with her or you?

 

[Gabbatek]

he will become the outcast forever cursed to be alone

 

[Ayahuasca]

Maybe, maybe not, depends on his heirachy within that circle as I've seen friends stick by those in the wrong and the outcast becomes the one or ones who actually got done over. In this case it sounds like most of the group are on his side so it likely won't come to that, you never know what people are saying behind your back though, majority of individuals hate confrontation or have a need to be liked by everyone so they won't tell you what they really think face to face.

 

[R.O.S.S.I]

Nothing is going to come of it, like i said we knocked it on the head a few weeks back now and people appear to have gotten over it.
Plus im going away a week today so couldnt give two ***** if my mates are playing whispers behind my back!!!

 

[opstrat]

seriously need a hug and advice.

been going with my girlfriend for 2 years this week. get on great with her mum and dad. today was their wedding anniversary. I sorted out the obligatory moon pig card with a picture of them and a nice poem. paid for the card got it delivered to my house and gave it to my girlfriend. ran about picking up the cake etc. her sister gets in the car on the way to the parents house and tried to discreetly say something to my gf. something to do with "you know how mum is in front of people" or something like that. my gf said can I wait in the car while they present the gifts to the parents. I agreed but the anger just bubbled up in side of me while I sat in the car for 15 minutes. gf says she didn't mean to hurt me, my problem is her sister basically shunned me and my gf done **** all to defend me. that's what I am annoyed with the most.

is it me?

 

[Ayahuasca]

Depends on what her mother is really like, might be easier just waiting in the car if she was going to be weird or give you a load of stick.

Think you're overreacting a bit with that first sentence and getting so riled up by it though, with that start I thought it was another breakup post sometimes in life you can run around doing stuff for others and not get any credit for it or have to take one for the team, the key is how you react to it.