The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
- Thread starter mattyprice4004
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Associate
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Have you asked her about it or just asked GD? I’d ask what was going on without being accusatory.
You’ve met her parents more than once or twice?
You’ve met her parents more than once or twice?
What ever her reason was she could have explained to you before heading there. You dont say such things last minute. Imagine if it was your parents birthday, she buys all the stuff and gets prepared to meet them gets hyped and last minute you tell her to wait in car. Silly communication error on your gf part.
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Where are you @opstrat? I need an update, this thread is like my EastEnders.
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Very strange indeed and you deserve more of an explanation than you've been given so far, regardless of the fact that you'd done a lot of the legwork on behalf of your GF - by the time my soon-to-be ex-wife and I had been 'courting' for two years, I was being treated like one of the family and would never have been excluded from anniversary or birthday celebrations ...
@opstrat, Only times i have seen stuff like this happening is if one side is either different religion / culture that some parents are ok with their daughters bringing their bf home but might not be comfortable when rest of their family there as that means lot of explanation to do .... Other than that i cant think any positive reasons....
update guys. we kissed and made up. the problem here is the sister, she's a bit of a bitch. the next day I drove the parents to the airport. her mum explained that she gets embarrassed and apparently burst into tears when they were given the gifts. that's fair enough its the fact that my gf did nothing to defend me or explain to me what the problem was. it was just a case of her sister telling me to wait outside.
broodyness gone!
I forgot how epic london was for casual encounters for 5 new numbers already this weekend lol..
and had some quickie fun yesterday
one problem though one of the girls lives in the nurses accommodation near by....i have met 2 other girls who live there in the past 2 years no idea if they're still there.
partly awkward because way bump into them way more awkward because the receptionist hates me and give some the evils every time I go there lol
I forgot how epic london was for casual encounters for 5 new numbers already this weekend lol..
and had some quickie fun yesterday
one problem though one of the girls lives in the nurses accommodation near by....i have met 2 other girls who live there in the past 2 years no idea if they're still there.
partly awkward because way bump into them way more awkward because the receptionist hates me and give some the evils every time I go there lol
Shag the receptionist just to be on the safe side.
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Further update on my situation ...
My wife has looked into re-mortgaging and buying me out and has realised it's a non-starter - she would have been able to make me an offer, but she said "The amount was so derisory it would have been an insult and on top of everything else, I wasn't going to do that to you". So it will pan out as I expected ie. house sold, fees and remainder of the mortgage paid off, the proceeds split 50/50 and then we'll go our separate ways and sort the actual divorce out once we're individually settled.
She's still evasive sometimes, which I think is just sheer guilt on her part. When we do actually speak it's amicable enough under the circumstances. She came to the house yesterday and we went round all the rooms with a notepad and discussed who wanted what out of each room. It felt like a couple of vultures picking over a corpse, but had to be done and I've earmarked everything I wanted from the house with no issues. We're going to hire a skip one weekend and just dump a load of stuff that neither of us wants. There's also a long-standing dispute with our neighbour about some of the climbers in the garden overhanging into his which we'll need to trim back when we've both got a weekend free - the bloke is a pain in the arse and we'll both be glad to be shot of him. Not sure yet whether we'll put the house on the market before Christmas or not.
Personally, I'm still doing fine, with the occasional wobble and moments of sadness, which I'm guessing is only normal. 99% of the time I'm focused firmly on my own future and the opportunities it presents. It will be a month ago tomorrow that we had 'the phone call' that confirmed we were over, but it seems a lot longer and in any case, I've bounced back quicker than I ever expected. Was horrible seeing her yesterday though - it felt like I was talking to someone I'd only just met and barely knew, not somebody I've known for over 25 years, been married to for 17 of those and was still sharing a bed with up until the middle of July this year. Even though her character has changed out of all recognition, I'm not ashamed to admit I shed a few tears after she'd gone - again, only natural I suppose given how long we've been together.
My wife has looked into re-mortgaging and buying me out and has realised it's a non-starter - she would have been able to make me an offer, but she said "The amount was so derisory it would have been an insult and on top of everything else, I wasn't going to do that to you". So it will pan out as I expected ie. house sold, fees and remainder of the mortgage paid off, the proceeds split 50/50 and then we'll go our separate ways and sort the actual divorce out once we're individually settled.
She's still evasive sometimes, which I think is just sheer guilt on her part. When we do actually speak it's amicable enough under the circumstances. She came to the house yesterday and we went round all the rooms with a notepad and discussed who wanted what out of each room. It felt like a couple of vultures picking over a corpse, but had to be done and I've earmarked everything I wanted from the house with no issues. We're going to hire a skip one weekend and just dump a load of stuff that neither of us wants. There's also a long-standing dispute with our neighbour about some of the climbers in the garden overhanging into his which we'll need to trim back when we've both got a weekend free - the bloke is a pain in the arse and we'll both be glad to be shot of him. Not sure yet whether we'll put the house on the market before Christmas or not.
Personally, I'm still doing fine, with the occasional wobble and moments of sadness, which I'm guessing is only normal. 99% of the time I'm focused firmly on my own future and the opportunities it presents. It will be a month ago tomorrow that we had 'the phone call' that confirmed we were over, but it seems a lot longer and in any case, I've bounced back quicker than I ever expected. Was horrible seeing her yesterday though - it felt like I was talking to someone I'd only just met and barely knew, not somebody I've known for over 25 years, been married to for 17 of those and was still sharing a bed with up until the middle of July this year. Even though her character has changed out of all recognition, I'm not ashamed to admit I shed a few tears after she'd gone - again, only natural I suppose given how long we've been together.
I don't mean to be rude, but i envy you if that's a relationship problem!
Don't most guys steer clear of the MILs?
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Glad you're doing ok and able to manage sorting this stuff out. Maybe arrange some activities for yourself so that you've got something to look forward to?
Adnams Drinker - your post sounded slightly familiar to my sister's situation so I read your original post. I can't even begin to imagine how it must have felt but am glad you're doing ok and that it seems to have remained amicable (if that's the right word.) And I second New Gamers comment about finding something to do.
Sadly with my sis it's a whole other ball game and I feel stuck in the middle. She decided after 26 years that she didn't love my brother in law anymore and things had actually been naff for 3 years leading up to it. (Although she apparently changes her mind and says it's 7 years before.)
That was over 18 months ago and it's just still so messy. My sister won't talk to us about any of it. We've had to hear about what's going on from my brother in law or my nephew and niece.
Her husband has been more like a brother to me in the 27 years that I've known him than my actual brother. I've tried being his agony aunt I guess but he's just not listening to my advice (even though his counsellor has told him the exact same thing!)
I just don't really know how to get through to him that he has to let go. He just seems to go around in circles. He says he's letting go and then 2 days later we hear they've had a row and then he gets all insecure and starts saying he thinks she's met someone else. And we go right back to square one again :/
Sadly with my sis it's a whole other ball game and I feel stuck in the middle. She decided after 26 years that she didn't love my brother in law anymore and things had actually been naff for 3 years leading up to it. (Although she apparently changes her mind and says it's 7 years before.)
That was over 18 months ago and it's just still so messy. My sister won't talk to us about any of it. We've had to hear about what's going on from my brother in law or my nephew and niece.
Her husband has been more like a brother to me in the 27 years that I've known him than my actual brother. I've tried being his agony aunt I guess but he's just not listening to my advice (even though his counsellor has told him the exact same thing!)
I just don't really know how to get through to him that he has to let go. He just seems to go around in circles. He says he's letting go and then 2 days later we hear they've had a row and then he gets all insecure and starts saying he thinks she's met someone else. And we go right back to square one again :/
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