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The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
- Thread starter mattyprice4004
- Start date
Most women aren't going to be comfortable with a guy hanging out with his ex. I wouldn't be comfortable with my girlfriend hanging out with any of her ex boyfriends. It's fairly normal. The only odd thing is that you've only met her once, why does she even know you spend time with your ex? Unless you have children together and are meeting because of them then you might find this becomes a problem in any future relationship
Agreed. Why exactly are you spending 'time' with your ex? She's the past, nobody likes having the past lingering around when you should be thinking about the future. I would find it disrespectful if my girlfriend was still spending time with her ex. Unless theres a specific reason, ie. as mentioned kids, theres really no other reason.
And also agreed, how does she even know? You only met her once and have already mentioned going to see your ex?
I have a holiday coming up and the 3 of us are going to harry potter world (myself,daughter ex),the women who i have seen once (and now has gone) asked what i was doing on my week off (normal conversation ect) and i told her.
The ex has cancer and struggles so i help out,if any women cant see that then its there problem.
It makes for a better relationship if we get along for our daughters sake.
We have been separated for over 5 years and it will stay that way.
The ex has cancer and struggles so i help out,if any women cant see that then its there problem.
It makes for a better relationship if we get along for our daughters sake.
We have been separated for over 5 years and it will stay that way.
Yeah those are perfectly acceptable and reasonable reasons to spend time with your ex, if anything it actually shows how much of a good bloke you are.
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So friendship?
Yes friendship if you insist Tefal lol
I have the same relationship with my ex for the benefit of my son. Been split for 8 years and it has worked quite well. People have often say it's admirable how we manage it and shows good character. I would say the same to yourself although I couldn't tolerate a holiday with my ex!
Sounds completely reasonable to me to have contact then.
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So, finally feeling I can post on here about my recent breakup. It hasnt been fun, but the summary of it is. I'm 28, shes 27.
-Caught her last year doing everythng bar sleep with a guy, only reason she didnt was he was in Florida, shes here with me
-They met through playstation, in her little destiny community
-They had planned to meet up when the went to GuardianCon this year
-Confronted her about it while she was at her parents
-Agreed we would try to make it work as we had a house together and had just got kittens
-Fast forward to end of year and shes been doing the same (via same method) with a 45yr old from Ireland
-Both agreed it was over, told her to take the spare room in the house whilst we looked at options
-House has been up for sale for 3 months no, no interest
-House was bought in 2016, value was £207K, mortgage of £172Kish (85% LTV), she sold her flat (made no money and we had both been living in there for 12 months), she put £5K in, I put £35K in, however during the time of mortgage I had agreed 50/50 split as I had intended to go all the way
-Offered her £10K + all the furniture for to her sign the house over to me, I've already been approved for mortgage on my own, just need to instruct solicitor to start the process
-She is wanting £15K, I've told her no, as the £10K more than covers the money she put in
I'm playing the long game here and I know she will crack on the £10K without much else, purely because she wants to be with this Irish guy
Does anyone know where I stand with ToE and stamp Duty, as we paid it when we bought the house, and I'm intending on keeping it.
All in all its been a pretty crap year so far
-Caught her last year doing everythng bar sleep with a guy, only reason she didnt was he was in Florida, shes here with me
-They met through playstation, in her little destiny community
-They had planned to meet up when the went to GuardianCon this year
-Confronted her about it while she was at her parents
-Agreed we would try to make it work as we had a house together and had just got kittens
-Fast forward to end of year and shes been doing the same (via same method) with a 45yr old from Ireland
-Both agreed it was over, told her to take the spare room in the house whilst we looked at options
-House has been up for sale for 3 months no, no interest
-House was bought in 2016, value was £207K, mortgage of £172Kish (85% LTV), she sold her flat (made no money and we had both been living in there for 12 months), she put £5K in, I put £35K in, however during the time of mortgage I had agreed 50/50 split as I had intended to go all the way
-Offered her £10K + all the furniture for to her sign the house over to me, I've already been approved for mortgage on my own, just need to instruct solicitor to start the process
-She is wanting £15K, I've told her no, as the £10K more than covers the money she put in
I'm playing the long game here and I know she will crack on the £10K without much else, purely because she wants to be with this Irish guy
Does anyone know where I stand with ToE and stamp Duty, as we paid it when we bought the house, and I'm intending on keeping it.
All in all its been a pretty crap year so far
That sounds rough quickshot, hope you get it sorted.
What do you do when you still feel for your ex no matter how many ladies you've had 'relations' with?
Although I'm much better I still think of my ex everyday and possibly still love her 12 months on. I'm with someone now who I've had a crush on for years and is hot but yet I constantly think of my ex, even dream of her at times.
Ex is settled with someone else and we split because I didn't want kids now so I can't get back with her. I just want to move on!
What do you do when you still feel for your ex no matter how many ladies you've had 'relations' with?
Although I'm much better I still think of my ex everyday and possibly still love her 12 months on. I'm with someone now who I've had a crush on for years and is hot but yet I constantly think of my ex, even dream of her at times.
Ex is settled with someone else and we split because I didn't want kids now so I can't get back with her. I just want to move on!
So I have an issue that's kinda relationship based.
So as usual slightly complicated .
One of to best friends we'll call her A, i used to hook up with but now we're more just platonic friends. I usualy stay at thiers at weekends but we both see other people and we're all cool with that like I'll pop out to go for a shag if she's working etc while I'm down there.
Now one of her best mates ( well call her K) who is hot but never somone I've approached because as i was informed shes a "nice girl" and she was always looking for a long term relationship doesnt shag around and all that and was just a friend after all. Well she has made it known to me that she fancies me and wants to hook up (I did say that I know she's the relationship type and I'm not and she said "well it can just be a one off" and doesn't have to change things between us which is cool) but she is worried it will upset A.
She knows I shag abour and A has no issue but obviously its different with friends.
So do I
A) have a conversation with A and see ifbshes fool with it but run the risk of her saying yes but not really being cool with it and thus affecting the whole social group if it makes a divide between her and k.
B) bang K on the sly without telling anyone and just keep it quiet.
C ) do as i have untill now and say no to k?
I also worry that K may end up falling for me a bit and get hurt despite her saying she just wants it as a casual one off/hook up as she isn't the type to do that normally.
So folks thoughts?
So as usual slightly complicated .
One of to best friends we'll call her A, i used to hook up with but now we're more just platonic friends. I usualy stay at thiers at weekends but we both see other people and we're all cool with that like I'll pop out to go for a shag if she's working etc while I'm down there.
Now one of her best mates ( well call her K) who is hot but never somone I've approached because as i was informed shes a "nice girl" and she was always looking for a long term relationship doesnt shag around and all that and was just a friend after all. Well she has made it known to me that she fancies me and wants to hook up (I did say that I know she's the relationship type and I'm not and she said "well it can just be a one off" and doesn't have to change things between us which is cool) but she is worried it will upset A.
She knows I shag abour and A has no issue but obviously its different with friends.
So do I
A) have a conversation with A and see ifbshes fool with it but run the risk of her saying yes but not really being cool with it and thus affecting the whole social group if it makes a divide between her and k.
B) bang K on the sly without telling anyone and just keep it quiet.
C ) do as i have untill now and say no to k?
I also worry that K may end up falling for me a bit and get hurt despite her saying she just wants it as a casual one off/hook up as she isn't the type to do that normally.
So folks thoughts?
Indeed. Hence why for the kast year I've said no and just carried on as normal.
I think its a case that she had a few guy she dated for a couple of months plus that didn't work out and is now looking for a bit of fun/release and I'm an easy safe option with a good er "reputation" in that area lol.
2016 was much easier where this problem came up with. Simmilar group of friends however was immediately solved by the friend in "A's" position litterally puting us in a bedroom and saying we should shag lol.