Absolutely disgusting thing said to me tonight...

pooley said:
sorry pal but that is your ego talking nothing else.
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I call it personal responsibility. Drink is not an excuse for any behavior. Sorry to break that fact to you.

Tefal said:
Haha want to think that through again mate?
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Not one bit. Just because the logic might be over you head, doesn't make it any less true. But, why don't you draw up a list of "bad behavior" while drunk, where do you draw the lines and at what alcohol limits. Does vandalism at 1 unit make it ok? How about at 10 units? Not at all? Well, if its just verbal, how about racially aggravated abuse? Ok because its just the booze talking right? Seriously the mind boggles that you try to defend someone making vile comments because they're a little bit drunk. If you wouldn't say it when sober, then there is no excuse to say it when drunk either.

itchy said:
It don't work like that, if you in a boozer in your glad rags and not in uniform then you can do as you please.

Reputation of a company is only brought down if you go psycho sally in a company uniform.

I think but not sure its only the police that cannot carry on.
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I think you'll find many companies have specific clauses about bringing the company into disrepute whether you are in uniform or not, the fact this woman specifically brought her work into it makes it an issue the company will be interested in. So zero sympathy from me at all. Linking back to my first point. Personal responsibility, can't handle your drink, don't drink so much.
 
itchy said:
It don't work like that, if you in a boozer in your glad rags and not in uniform then you can do as you please.

Reputation of a company is only brought down if you go psycho sally in a company uniform.

I think but not sure its only the police that cannot carry on.
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lol.

The year is 2018, not 218.
 
Ahleckz said:
No, I didn't say it was acceptable because she was drunk. But, I'm advocating a bit of balance and common sense. What does the OP, and the militants, want to achieve? Should this woman loose her job? Should she be fined? Arrested? Sued? She said something, when she was drunk. It was in poor taste, but let's look at it objectively. She's had too much to drunk, it's the end of the night. She needs to go home. She's not going to remember it tomorrow, it's not a judgement on her ability to do her job (and even if it was, a bouncer isn't in a position to comment on such a thing) and ultimately it's no more offensive than someone calling the bouncer ugly (or whatever nonoffensive insult you decide upon).

The only person who should be in danger of being sacked is this bouncer - if they can't handle such a throwaway comment then their SIA badge needs to be removed. I worry about his ability to handle a stressful situation...

Knickers are firmly in a twist in this thread.
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What do I want? Simply for this woman to understand that it is not acceptable in anyway shape or form to make comments to anyone like that.

I've done this job for a long time, and like most of the guys and girls I work with am not some meat headed knuckle dragging rage monster with a chip on his shoulder. I've always believed that in my job in particular that a "it's nice to be nice" policy is best. That said I and my colleagues have to put up with a lot of abuse on a nightly basis, that charmingly inebriated fellow you let in can very easily become the guy who's trying to smash a bottle over your head moments later. I do this type of work mainly because it's what I know and because surprisingly I'm pretty good at it. Most of the time nasty comments, threats of violence etc don't phase me it's par for the course. On the rare occasion, where I currently work, things turn physical I'm so used to dealing with that stuff it's only after the fact that I realise how close to harm I may have actually been. Sometimes I stew over it, more often than not it's laughed off and on with the next thing. The point is though I'm only human at the end of the day and sometimes things get to me. If you did what I do, you'd be exactly the same or worse.

Now someone who identifies themselves as a children's hospice worker, someone who works daily with terminally ill children and their families and supports them while that child dies states to someone that she hopes their child has to use their service for no good reason is simply abhorrent. But more importantly is extremely unprofessional regardless of intoxication and it got to me! I wrote an email about it, vented on here a little bit and after sleeping and spending time with my fiancee and 6 month old girl for a few hours went right back out to work.


What's interesting is that one of the hospice workers was singing in the bar tonight and made a point of coming to see if I was okay, as it had been talked about a lot during the day between those present, this lady was present the night before and is someone who knows me quite well and witnessed what had happened. All she could do was apologise for her colleagues behaviour.
 
Ahleckz said:
For those advocating the OP should speak to their boss, if someone approached your boss with an issue regarding your behaviour on a night out; what do you think your boss would honestly do?
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I think you'll find most places of work have a clause in their employment contract and handbook that covers bringing the workplace into disrepute regardless of when or where and it will include online and out of hours.

For someone that works in a children's hospice to say such a thing would do huge amounts of damage to that hospice, I would imagine most managers/bosses/directors would want action to be taken before it got into the public.
 
Tefal said:
Haha want to think that through again mate?

Get drunk and drive = guilty of drink driving.

Get drunk and have sex = rape victim because you can't consent and aren't responsible for your actions .
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This is something that baffles my brains. I can go out, get hammered, have consensual sex but end up a rapist because although we were equally drunk she was not capable of making a sound decision. Yet you can get hammered, drive a car and remember nothing about it and end up in jail because you made a bad decision.
 
In some ways I'm not that surprised by their comments. I work in the NHS and rarely go for work do's etc as I quite often find my colleagues behavior appalling when they had some drinks. The parties I've been to with my colleagues our group have always been the loudest group but luckily I've not come across any foul comments. Personally I don't drink much myself but the behavior from the others can be very embarrassing. People says "but they need to vent their emotions" but I believe there is other ways to do that then getting ****** and behave like tossers..
 
AHarvey said:
I think you'll find most places of work have a clause in their employment contract and handbook that covers bringing the workplace into disrepute regardless of when or where and it will include online and out of hours.

For someone that works in a children's hospice to say such a thing would do huge amounts of damage to that hospice, I would imagine most managers/bosses/directors would want action to be taken before it got into the public.
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Quite apart from that, that this person working in a care environment has such an obvious, spiteful, vicious streak to their character needs to be raised to their employer. Regardless of whether OP was offended, he doesn't want to see their ugly mug on the news down the line and regret not flagging their behaviour.

I don't see the downside in someone wishing terminal illness on a child facing the consequences of their actions.
 
See, what you need to now is set up an elaborate ruse involving all of her work colleagues, where you take your child in to the hospice, make sure it's her that deals with you, and when you see her, make sure to say (in your best daily mail sympathy photo face, with voice to match): "looks like you got your wish, little timmy has just been diagnosed with leukemia", then see how long it takes for the guilt to break her :D
 
stockhausen said:
Or even aN adult . . . although since people is the plural version of person it should probably just be "People definitely need to be adults."
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With respect, I feel that you may be ******* into the wind
here stockhausen, just as in the majority of Forums.
I’d rather not comment on the subject.
 
pooley said:
who is excusing her behavior? I was not, and the claim she was drunk is irrelevant anyway..
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Every poster saying to drop it because she had some drinks lol?

Tefal said:
Nice clipping, so in your world date rape victims are not victim's?
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Proves my point, because you clearly haven't understood the perspective. Stop embarrassing yourself.

Vidar said:
What's interesting is that one of the hospice workers was singing in the bar tonight and made a point of coming to see if I was okay, as it had been talked about a lot during the day between those present, this lady was present the night before and is someone who knows me quite well and witnessed what had happened. All she could do was apologise for her colleagues behaviour.
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Imo this in its own justifies you taking it further. It shows they know it was grossly wrong, yet she doesn't even have it in her to come and apologize to you in person.
 
Good on the OP for reporting this. This woman works with potentially vulnerable children and what she said, drunk or otherwise, should alarm anybody enough to let the relevant people know. Clearly others around her were shocked by what she had said. Let's hope they are strong enough to back the OP should the need arise.
 
Vidar said:
I work as a doorman so am used to disgusting and vile things being said to me but tonight for the first time in a long time I am genuinely shocked.

When asking a group of children's hospice staff to leave the premises as we where closed and the staff needed to lock up and I had to get home to my 6 month old I was told "Well, I hope you child needs to use our service one day"

I'm not easily shocked but this has genuinely made me rage, unfortunately I don't have the woman's name but I know which hospice she works at. I mean I get people need to let off steam and that alcohol can often bring out the worst in people but for someone who actually works at a childrens hospice making comments like that is sickening.

I know I'm probably over reacting but this has really gotten under my skin.
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Sounds grossly offensive to me. You can probably get the lot sacked or even prosecuted.
 
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