The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

[Steampunk]

Lol point taken guys cheers.

Did get a random picture off her last night though eating a burrito in the bath.. not as filthy as it sounds lol but actually very literal. Its a bit or a running joke so i expect it to sound a bit weird.

Yeah, go for it. Don't waste time double thinking and doubting yourself, or someone will swoop in and get her first. Just ask her out, do things together, spend time, ask her back to your place, talk to her and let her know how much you like her. The worst she can do is tell you that she doesn't think of you that way, and then at least you know where you stand.

It's far, far better to let her know, than have to see her with a new guy who makes her happy, and thinking that it should have been you, if only you'd been a little bit more brave, and a little less afraid of "what if".

 

[Zenduri]

So much beta in this thread it is beyond unreal. Must be a lot of Soy drinking muffties, that's all I can say.

When it comes to girls you like or think you might wish to have a "sexual" relationship with them, you have to make it 100% clear from the very beginning what the score is. Normally it is good to make comments about how you like their bum, or that she looks sexy in XYZ, or that if she keeps doing XYZ you will have her back at your place before she can say "do me".

Once the heavy innuendo is dropped, it is very easy to gauge the reaction to this, and then you have an idea of whether there is any interest from the other party without "losing face" so to speak.

I'd drop one liners to girls I was "friends" with who were hot, like "If you wear those shiny skintight leggings again, I'm not going to be responsible when I get you pregnant!" etc etc. You either get a look or horror, or if you see a little twinkle in the eye, you know its good. I think guys need to man up and stop taking it all so seriously. Seems like a few guys would have a nervous breakdown if some girl didnt want to jump into bed with them and turn it into a big game/drama. It really does not have to be difficult, even for the most socially allergic people such as myself.

I would rather be beta than rapey....

 

[jonneymendoza]

So much beta in this thread it is beyond unreal. Must be a lot of Soy drinking muffties, that's all I can say.

When it comes to girls you like or think you might wish to have a "sexual" relationship with them, you have to make it 100% clear from the very beginning what the score is. Normally it is good to make comments about how you like their bum, or that she looks sexy in XYZ, or that if she keeps doing XYZ you will have her back at your place before she can say "do me".

Once the heavy innuendo is dropped, it is very easy to gauge the reaction to this, and then you have an idea of whether there is any interest from the other party without "losing face" so to speak.

I'd drop one liners to girls I was "friends" with who were hot, like "If you wear those shiny skintight leggings again, I'm not going to be responsible when I get you pregnant!" etc etc. You either get a look or horror, or if you see a little twinkle in the eye, you know its good. I think guys need to man up and stop taking it all so seriously. Seems like a few guys would have a nervous breakdown if some girl didnt want to jump into bed with them and turn it into a big game/drama. It really does not have to be difficult, even for the most socially allergic people such as myself.

Lol quality

 

[Tek81]

Ignore this guy, clearly a Soy drinker.

Make her SWOON. Then SLAM 'dat Clam

Ahh I see its a work colleague, in that case I'd drop something like "hope the stationary cupboard has got sound-proofing for when me and you are 'looking for paper clips' wink wink"

or alternatively..

"wear that sexy skirt again, and me and you will BOTH be getting a raise.. wink wink"

Ps, before any beta's start chirping, I've actually banged a few work colleagues, so I have proof in my pudding.

That's gamma virgin talk if ever I've heard it.

 

[Terminal_Boy]

I would rather be beta than rapey....

I think we need to remove the ‘T’ from his user name.

 

[413x]

You are not aware of the classic dating mantra?

"Rapey for results, beta for blind-ness"

If you want to go beta, just chat to the girl about your "rig" spec in your signature.

Oh dear. This is terrible trolling!

 

[Roar87]

You are not aware of the classic dating mantra?

"Rapey for results, beta for blind-ness"

If you want to go beta, just chat to the girl about your "rig" spec in your signature.

I don't think he wants to tell a girl he has a 1060

 

[A2Z]

Funny troll

He is right in his idea though - you need to be more forward and take the lead - but definitely not to those levels.

If you don't, when she gets a boyfriend, she will drop you quick time and won't look back as she will be busy, while you are sitting at home watching porn.

 

[djshauny1]

Didn't think Id find myself here but here it goes I guess.

My partner and me have been together 10 years. We have two children ages 5 and 8. For a long time now I just don't feel anything for her. I've tried everything to change this but that spark is not there. More and more I find myself leaving the house as I'm starting to not want to be around her at all. We separated briefly around 2 years ago for 6 months and got back together. I was begging for her to come back then lol. Silly mistake I know and lessons learned there I guess. But now I'm starting to feel I was better off without her. She just doesn't make me happy at all. For a long time its never felt like a relationship but rather someone just living in the house. Shes very pushy and has mood problems and I've just had enough of it. I've spoken to her about it saying things need to improve and to seek help and id gladly support her but she doesn't want too. Its seriously dragging me down now.

I guess the main thing thats stopping me from leaving is my two children. I love them to bits and its making it difficult for me to leave. That and I'm not really sure what to do In getting a place to stay.

Any ideas?

What should I do.?

 

[413x]

Tough with kids. But at the end of the day you may as well start discussing this and what happens next with kids etc.

Better to do it now than later when things might have degraded sooner. And I agree, never go back after a break. Things end for a reason

 

[A2Z]

Didn't think Id find myself here but here it goes I guess.

My partner and me have been together 10 years. We have two children ages 5 and 8. For a long time now I just don't feel anything for her. I've tried everything to change this but that spark is not there. More and more I find myself leaving the house as I'm starting to not want to be around her at all. We separated briefly around 2 years ago for 6 months and got back together. I was begging for her to come back then lol. Silly mistake I know and lessons learned there I guess. But now I'm starting to feel I was better off without her. She just doesn't make me happy at all. For a long time its never felt like a relationship but rather someone just living in the house. Shes very pushy and has mood problems and I've just had enough of it. I've spoken to her about it saying things need to improve and to seek help and id gladly support her but she doesn't want too. Its seriously dragging me down now.

I guess the main thing thats stopping me from leaving is my two children. I love them to bits and its making it difficult for me to leave. That and I'm not really sure what to do In getting a place to stay.

Any ideas?

What should I do.?

Talk to her. Communication is key. I know you have said you already spoken to her but maybe try one more time to make it clear that unless you both start being happy in the relationship starting from today, then there is no point carrying on.

If nothing changes then you know what to do. Your kids will be fine. My parents divorced when I was young and I got over it.

 

[djshauny1]

Thanks for the advice chaps

 

[Derek W]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/50bf662a-c48c-4201-b2de-c575b14f6645

Thought this may be worth a read for those dating.
Reading through it, it essential came across as a load of nonsense as the way it's been written no one should be allowed to have preferences when choosing who they would want to date.

It's a very, simplistic, scratch the surface article which leans towards dating sites / apps are racist

Anyone come across this in their dating lives before?

 

[XeNoN89]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/50bf662a-c48c-4201-b2de-c575b14f6645

Thought this may be worth a read for those dating.
Reading through it, it essential came across as a load of nonsense as the way it's been written no one should be allowed to have preferences when choosing who they would want to date.

It's a very, simplistic, scratch the surface article which leans towards dating sites / apps are racist

Anyone come across this in their dating lives before?

Ridiculous, it's not offensive to say you prefer blondes or brunettes or tall or short girls so why would it be offensive to say you prefer a particular race? It's all just physical aspects that you can find attractive.

 

[malachi]

I only date women because I find them attractive. I would never date a man, does that make me sexist!?!?!

 

[Hades]

I only date women because I find them attractive. I would never date a man, does that make me sexist!?!?!

 

[Diddums]

Ridiculous, it's not offensive to say you prefer blondes or brunettes or tall or short girls so why would it be offensive to say you prefer a particular race? It's all just physical aspects that you can find attractive.

Because BBC. I don't like girls that aren't white. I don't like asian girls, oriental girls, black girls, mixed race girls, etc. Does that make me racist? Don't tell the beeb though, they'll paint me as a nazi.

 

[Gzero]

Because BBC. I don't like girls that aren't white. I don't like asian girls, oriental girls, black girls, mixed race girls, etc. Does that make me racist? Don't tell the beeb though, they'll paint me as a nazi.

Isn't that the point though????? You don't like a person because of an attribute they have no control over. The article is talking about people targeting people of certain races as trophies/objects for sex and nothing more. Just because you don't actively abuse someone because of their race, putting them completely out of the pool of people you would date because of their ethnicity is still a racist move.

 

[Diddums]

Isn't that the point though????? You don't like a person because of an attribute they have no control over. The article is talking about people targeting people of certain races as trophies/objects for sex and nothing more. Just because you don't actively abuse someone because of their race, putting them completely out of the pool of people you would date because of their ethnicity is still a racist move.

Cept it isn't though, is it? Would you plow Susan Boyle?

 

[Gzero]

Cept it isn't though, is it? Would you plow Susan Boyle?

Because she's white she's on the radar for you? Take mixed race celebrities for example, would you find Rita Ora attractive, or do you not even think about because she's not white.

P.s Susan's too fat for me, that makes her unattractive to me.

P.s.2 I'm not saying that you are a bad person for having this mindset, yes you could be more open, but that's up to you to decide.