Why are Americans so nice?

[Melissa S]

Can I just say that until I started reading forums, I never knew UK people were considered unfriendly. So, it's not widely known where I live in the US.
Yes, we have major racial problems. However, it's vastly different from city to city. I don't really look at people differently based on color. I'm white. I lived in a city where race was a huge problem and frequently approached black people I didn't know and talked to them. It would shock them many times. So, some will be cool, and some will not like you just based on your color. It's sad. Racism is just as bad for all colors, but black people are definitely oppressed the most. It's getting better.
Our government is really messed up, but it's an advantage to at least have a choice. I can't imagine not having the right to choose who's in charge because that's all I've known.
In the south, you'll meet the friendliest people in the world. If you're uncomfortable, tell them why. They'll leave you alone. Don't be surprised if you meet someone in a store and you get invited to their home for a beer, lol.

 

[Melissa S]

Having lived in the US when I was younger and travelled there for work a lot in the last few years, I think I'm a bit jaded to it now.

Sure, waiting staff, hotel staff are super friendly but unfortunately it is all an act and they're just very good at it. You listen in to conversations when they're serving other Americans and the whole charade just trips off the tongue from both sides.. "Good morning sir how are you doing today?" "Oh I'm very well thank you, how are you?" "I'm doing great thank you, now what can I get you started with, some coffee, juice, eggs" and the whole thing just goes on and on

Granted I travel to LA where this is probably 10x worse but I've come to the conclusion that Americans just love the sound of their own voice and this just makes it worse. Whole conversations of complete nonsense. It's small talk ramped up to eleventy-stupid!

Serving staff aside, I find some Americans nice, some not. Same as anywhere else. They are way less scared of talking to strangers though and that can be a good or a bad thing.

We don't really love the sound of our own voice. We do it because we're taught to do it. In the service industry, you obviously have to fake a lot. It's better than being outright rude for no reason. LA cannot be compared to anywhere in the US. It's a different world. You won't see a lot of the fakeness in the south. Most people really are nice. Of course there's rude people everywhere. By far, more people than not are genuinely nice. In the service industry, people work 12 hour days and are lucky if they get a 30 minute break to eat. The labor laws here are horrible. So people are cranky.

 

[dacads]

Well of course, you only ever hear of the bad people.

That's part of the problem, people just moaning etc.

 

[Melissa S]

I think the point is that there are nice people everywhere ,but the culture in the US is mostly friendly. People come here for a reason. It's a great, friendly place to live. We have priveleges other people in this world will never have. We know that. Well, at least the ones my age do. Most of us appreciate that. There are cities where, like LA, people maybe don't appreciate it as much as the rest of us. I don't live there, so I won't say anything except for, "It's the movie capital of the world." It's mostly actors/actresses and models, people wanting to become one, people in those industries and family and friends of those people. It will probably change people drastically. Having to cater to those people in the service industry would probably make me very cynical and cranky, too. That doesn't make it ok, but please don't judge us based on them. I'm not judging all people in the UK (assuming you all hate us) based on the fact that you think we're rude based on your experiences.
I think people in the UK probably act differently just because they don't know any different. A hundred-2 hundred years ago, your people likely had a very good reason to be rude based on government issues. It's just not fully changed yet. Our country is too new to have those experiences. Remember, the only people native to the US are Native Americans/Indians. We're all from the same place as you are. Our attitude is solely based on our experiences.

 

[V F]

That's part of the problem, people just moaning etc.

It's not just moaning, it's the endless so called misery. According to so many in this country we're into the 5th level of Hell. Including the media but yes, you're also correct. Britain is a pessimistic nation. They can only see the bad, can't see any good. Let alone the rudeness.

 

[Melissa S]

It's not just moaning, it's the endless so called misery. According to so many in this country we're into the 5th level of Hell. Including the media but yes, you're also correct. Britain is a pessimistic nation. They can only see the bad, can't see any good. Let alone the rudeness.

That's more than likely only in major cities. I've never come across someone truly miserable where I live. I have a possibly terminal illness, and I see others several times/week that also do. Even they don't complain much. If you ever come back, try the Dallas, TX area. Try not to stay I'm only big cities though. There's gonna always be crankier people there. I live about 40 minutes away, and I'm never leaving. It's truly wonderful!
I'm sorry to hear about people being so negative. There's only one way to change that. Always show a positive attitude. People around me are happy, but I do put off a very positive vibe I'm told. It works!

 

[jsmoke]

What do you think of Alex Jones, Melissa?

 

[Melissa S]

What do you think of Alex Jones, Melissa?

I've actually never heard of him. I googled him though. I've still never heard about him. After reading about him, I probably wouldn't agree with him but I may give him respect depending on his attitude. I'm more into things like paranormal, Bigfoot, & sometimes aliens.
What do you think about him?

 

[jsmoke]

I've actually never heard of him. I googled him though. I've still never heard about him. After reading about him, I probably wouldn't agree with him but I may give him respect depending on his attitude. I'm more into things like paranormal, Bigfoot, & sometimes aliens.
What do you think about him?

I think he's a good guy however most on these forums think he's nuts or something like that.

I've learned a lot from listening to him, good entertainment also.

What do you think of the so-called liberal, or leftist, movement in the US?

I think the thing about over here is that we are much more polarised due to living in a small country areawise, having a much more controlled media and other common cultural factors. The US is so large and diverse that so many groups, laws and ideaw can be cultured and nurtured. I'm surprised you've never heard of AJ for example.

 

[Distracted]

They aren't. It is superficial and once you get to know them they are as varied as any other country in my experience.

Except Canadians.

They are nice and will apologise to you even when you put a hole in their 'boot' and it sinks drowning the last of their tim hortons donuts. /s

Yes there are nice Americans, there are also a lot of unpleasant ones and everything in between.

 

[Melissa S]

I think he's a good guy however most on these forums think he's nuts or something like that.

I've learned a lot from listening to him, good entertainment also.

What do you think of the so-called liberal, or leftist, movement in the US?

I think the thing about over here is that we are much more polarised due to living in a small country areawise, having a much more controlled media and other common cultural factors. The US is so large and diverse that so many groups, laws and ideaw can be cultured and nurtured. I'm surprised you've never heard of AJ for example.

I'm not a big fan of any politics really. I do agree with some of liberal idealizations. I believe in equal rights for everyone, especially gay people. That's definitely liberal thinking. However, I don't agree with a lot of it. Sometimes it's ridiculous in my opinion. I just don't like conflict, so I don't like politicians in general, especially at the federal level. You can have some good mayors (city leader) & governors (state leaders). Our President almost has to be crooked to play the game. I think Obama was about as straight as we've had recently. Ronald Regan was good, too.
So yes, our politics are really messed up, but we at least have a choice.
You don't like liberal thinking right ?

 

[jsmoke]

I'm not a big fan of any politics really. I do agree with some of liberal idealizations. I believe in equal rights for everyone, especially gay people. That's definitely liberal thinking. However, I don't agree with a lot of it. Sometimes it's ridiculous in my opinion. I just don't like conflict, so I don't like politicians in general, especially at the federal level. You can have some good mayors (city leader) & governors (state leaders). Our President almost has to be crooked to play the game. I think Obama was about as straight as we've had recently. Ronald Regan was good, too.
So yes, our politics are really messed up, but we at least have a choice.
You don't like liberal thinking right ?

Well the problem is that it's not seen to be classical liberal thinking is just painted as such. It's more into the crazy do what feels good thinking. I don't really like politics much myself, some of the Tony Blair years were interesting and your current US politics from 2016 on is quite fascinating however apart from that I don't follow it much either.

That was my thinking also about crooked presidents as you just couldn't really get to that level unless you were to a large degree, it's just how the system is setup, people love the drama and the scandals, a real soap opera.

 

[Melissa S]

They aren't. It is superficial and once you get to know them they are as varied as any other country in my experience.

Except Canadians.

They are nice and will apologise to you even when you put a hole in their 'boot' and it sinks drowning the last of their tim hortons donuts. /s

Yes there are nice Americans, there are also a lot of unpleasant ones and everything in between.

Exactly! You'll never find a place where everyone is nice. We're almost all immigrants in the United States, so we're too diverse to clump together into any kind of group. However you definitely find some of the most friendly people in the southern states. Northern Texas is probably the best. I can't really say how people under 21 are because I really only get talked to as a mom. It seems parents aren't teaching their kids to be as respectful in this generation.
I've never been to LA, but I've heard enough horror stories to keep me from wanting to go. New York used to be some of the rudest people in the country UNTIL 9/11 happened. People really banned together and got friendlier so I've heard.
If you go somewhere like New Orleans, the culture shock could be terrifying, lol. I grew up in that state, and the people there are extremely friendly. However, they talk weird (hard to understand) & have their own dialect. In the US, there's what we call "hillbillies" & "Hill people" that are also scary. Just don't wander off into the country and get lost, lol. You'll run into white people with one tooth, lots of guns and very territorial. Most country people are nice, but I have found some really odd ones. We just know where not to go.

 

[Melissa S]

Well the problem is that it's not seen to be classical liberal thinking is just painted as such. It's more into the crazy do what feels good thinking. I don't really like politics much myself, some of the Tony Blair years were interesting and your current US politics from 2016 on is quite fascinating however apart from that I don't follow it much either.

That was my thinking also about crooked presidents as you just couldn't really get to that level unless you were to a large degree, it's just how the system is setup, people love the drama and the scandals, a real soap opera.

Yes they do love drama! It's ridiculous. Sometimes it's funny. Because our media has freedom of speech and can say anything about any leader they want, you definitely find out some crazy stuff. Most of it's probably not true.
I don't know what it would be like living in a country where you have a Queen, etc., so I can't really say if our system is better than yours. It's just different. I try to mind my own business & stay away from political discussions especially on Facebook.

 

[jsmoke]

We live in a very controlled country, it's essentially a police surveillance state. We have next to no freedom of speech, you could arrested or flagged for a word or sentence on twitter for example. Street pastors/evangelists could be cautioned or arrested for preaching on the streets. We have iron fist gun control, basically no guns unless you have a permit for a pellet gun or shotgun or are part of a gun club.

It does work overall, we have a strong economy but it's a very managed system compared to the US, partly because we are a small country. There are many politicians in the US, mainly on the left, who would like to emulate this control over your country. It will never happen imo. It's just too diverse, too many cultures, traditions and history. People have become to used to saying and expressing what they want too.

 

[Angilion]

I think the point is that there are nice people everywhere ,but the culture in the US is mostly friendly. People come here for a reason. It's a great, friendly place to live. We have priveleges other people in this world will never have. We know that. Well, at least the ones my age do. Most of us appreciate that. There are cities where, like LA, people maybe don't appreciate it as much as the rest of us. I don't live there, so I won't say anything except for, "It's the movie capital of the world." It's mostly actors/actresses and models, people wanting to become one, people in those industries and family and friends of those people. It will probably change people drastically. Having to cater to those people in the service industry would probably make me very cynical and cranky, too. That doesn't make it ok, but please don't judge us based on them. I'm not judging all people in the UK (assuming you all hate us) based on the fact that you think we're rude based on your experiences.
I think people in the UK probably act differently just because they don't know any different. A hundred-2 hundred years ago, your people likely had a very good reason to be rude based on government issues. It's just not fully changed yet. Our country is too new to have those experiences. Remember, the only people native to the US are Native Americans/Indians. We're all from the same place as you are. Our attitude is solely based on our experiences.

Everyone in the USA is descended from people who migrated there from somewhere else. For "native" Americans that migration just happened a bit further back in time (and not that much further back, really). Where do you draw the "native" line and why? Anyone born there? Anyone born there with a parent born there? With both parents born there? 2 generations born there? 3? 10? 100? 20 years, 50 years, 100 years, 1000 years? What about someone whose ancestors lived in what's now Canada and moved southwards ~500 years ago into what's now the USA? Are they native to the USA? If so, are they less native to the USA than people whose ancestors were in that area >500 years ago? What about people whose ancestors lived in what was Mexico a couple of hundred years ago before the USA invaded Mexico and annexed loads of their land?

Take me, for example. I'm in the first generation of my family born in England. I regard myself as English. If pushed, I would categorise myself as native to this country (we don't really use that term here). My cultural heritage is English, back through the centuries, right back to the foundation of England in the early medieval period. This is despite the fact that as far as I know none of my ancestors were here at the time and it's likely that some of my ancestors fought against England at times in the medieval period. That was them, not me. I'm English.

As for perceived friendliness, I think population density has a strong effect with higher population density tending to lead to lower perceived friendliness. I also think that there's a difference between friendliness and perceived friendliness and that a lot of the claimed difference between UK and USA in this context owes more to cultural standards regarding social interactions (particularly extrovert ones) than actual friendliness. I notice that in my daily life having moved locations within England. What's commonly seen as friendly around here often seems intrusive and sometimes downright rude to me and I know that some of what's friendly or polite to me is commonly seen as stand-offish to people around here. Things like demanding that other people immediately stop doing what they're doing because whatever you want must be more important than whatever they're doing. I think that's rude, but around here that's commonly seen as being polite. I have no idea why, but that's how it is.

 

[Kutter]

Where in the US are you melissa? I just moved from NH down to Georgia and the people are way friendlier down here.

Btw listen to coast to coast if your interested in the paranormal and strange creatures. Its on everynight at 3am to 5am EST.

 

[Freakbro]

Racism is just as bad for all colors, but black people are definitely oppressed the most.

Careful, you'll trigger our wannabe alt-right whiners on here who constantly bleat that white males are the most discriminated and disadvantaged section of society

 

[stockhausen]

. . . [the US is] vastly different from city to city. . . .

Now that's just mean. You are not taking this seriously, next you will be suggesting the not every single soul in the EU has identical views, culture and language.

EVERYBODY IS EXACTLY THE SAME - ALWAYS!

 

[RoboCod]

I believe in equal rights for everyone, especially gay people. That's definitely liberal thinking. However, I don't agree with a lot of it.

See I think it's funny that Americans find that supporting the rights of gays and blacks is considered Liberal. That's something that differs between us and what I was referring to earlier about me socialising with a black group of people once in the US. To me (and I assume most Brits) it's not Liberal thinking (anymore). That is just normal decent behaviour towards another human being, it should be expected. Tags that determine sexuality and colour just aren't a factor. I don't look at someone and see their colour first.

We live in a very controlled country, it's essentially a police surveillance state. We have next to no freedom of speech, you could arrested or flagged for a word or sentence on twitter for example. Street pastors/evangelists could be cautioned or arrested for preaching on the streets. We have iron fist gun control, basically no guns unless you have a permit for a pellet gun or shotgun or are part of a gun club.

It does work overall, we have a strong economy but it's a very managed system compared to the US, partly because we are a small country. There are many politicians in the US, mainly on the left, who would like to emulate this control over your country. It will never happen imo. It's just too diverse, too many cultures, traditions and history. People have become to used to saying and expressing what they want too.

Eh? We have full freedom of speech, you are free to express as you please, but if someone wants to pursue you legally for saying something they believe you should keep to yourself, then they are also free to do that. It's not like armed militia are going to throw you off a building for it isis style though.

If you want, why don't you go to the states and exercise your freedom of speech towards a police officer. The country is forced to be run by a military grade police force, since the population are armed. The UK is very safe and this is down to the cotton wool blanket wrapped around us. Don't be under the illusion the Wild West is any more free though .