Would you postpone a funeral for someone to take a holiday?

[HoneyBadger]

No I wouldn't postpone. I'd expect them to re-arrange their holiday plans. I've been in this situation when my mum died and my aunt (Mums sis) wanted to go on holiday. I said you're either there or you aren't. She went on holiday, I've never spoke to her again.

 

[Terminal_Boy]

Grandfather - cancel holiday
Grandafther’s brother - go on holiday

I’d expect immediate family to be different than extended family but at the same time I wouldn’t postpone the funeral for the grandson-in-law

Agreed. I’d expect direct family to cancel everything to attend.

 

[Thekwango]

No I wouldn't postpone. I'd expect them to re-arrange their holiday plans. I've been in this situation when my mum died and my aunt (Mums sis) wanted to go on holiday. I said you're either there or you aren't. She went on holiday, I've never spoke to her again.

Your aunt didn’t even attend her own sisters funeral? What an utter ****. Did they not get on when your mum was alive?

 

[HoneyBadger]

Your aunt didn’t even attend her own sisters funeral? What an utter ****. Did they not get on when your mum was alive?

Correct, because she had a week in Spain booked. Exclusive, eh?

That's the thing, they DID get on and were close (Rang each other every week, always helping each other etc)

After that, I 'blacklisted' her and never spoke to her again, and never attended her funeral when she died years later. I believe I was on holiday at the time...

 

[BowdonUK]

No. He should cancel or postpone his holiday. A death in the family, with advanced notice, usually means he'll get his money back or transferred to another flight/bookings.

I guess it shows how much his grandson thought of him.

 

[Begbie]

I would hope that if I were very old and had gran children they wouldn't cancel a good holiday to sit in a church for 20 minutes talking about me, but that's just my opinion.

Same here, infact I'd be rather upset if the rest of the family guilt-ed them into it/they never went.

 

[Yaayuh!]

No I wouldn't postpone. I'd expect them to re-arrange their holiday plans. I've been in this situation when my mum died and my aunt (Mums sis) wanted to go on holiday. I said you're either there or you aren't. She went on holiday, I've never spoke to her again.

Funerals are for the living after all. Maybe she didn't need/want to grieve at the funeral or face it?

Unless I felt I needed the closure or really needed to support someone, I don't think I'd go to another funeral and would choose the holiday if it clashed.

I wouldn't however, ask for it to be postponed. That's just selfish and inconsiderate to others.

 

[HoneyBadger]

Funerals are for the living after all. Maybe she didn't need/want to grieve at the funeral or face it?

Unless I felt I needed the closure or really needed to support someone, I don't think I'd go to another funeral and would choose the holiday if it clashed.

I wouldn't however, ask for it to be postponed. That's just selfish and inconsiderate to others.

I guess we'll never know.

My sister and I, having lost my dad 10 year prior would have appreciated the support, which we told her. Ce la ve.

 

[rainbowGuy]

If they stand to lose thousands and have been looking forward to this holiday all year then it would be pretty hard to just cancel and I very much doubt insurance (if they have it) would allow them to cancel for a grandparents funeral.

its a holiday - i dont get how they stand to lose 1000s by not going on holiday. They have wasted the money either if they go or not.

 

[Deleted member 66701]

I didn't go to my grans funeral as I had a holiday booked. She was still dead, me cancelling a holiday didn't change that.

I'd hope when I go my children or grand children would do the same. I think we already make too big of a deal of death/funerals as it is.

 

[Scania]

you sound all noble, but have you checked whether or not the family gave the blessing for the holiday?

I may sound that but am probably far from it!

No, the rest of the family on the deceased’s side were informed of this after the decision, taken by his wife and the grandson.

 

[Pudney]

I may sound that but am probably far from it!

No, the rest of the family on the deceased’s side were informed of this after the decision, taken by his wife and the grandson.

"his wife" - do you mean the widow? If so then I don't see any issue. If not then it depends on specifics.

This is such a personal thing that there isn't a hard and fast rule either way. I know some people would be furious if family postponed plans or holidays to attend their funeral, and others the complete opposite.

 

[ttaskmaster]

NVM

 

[ivrytwr3]

I didn't go to my grans funeral as I had a holiday booked. She was still dead, me cancelling a holiday didn't change that.

Ain't you a ray of sunshine.

 

[Deleted member 66701]

Ain't you a ray of sunshine.

It was fairly sunny, yes.

 

[james.miller]

I never expected family to turn up without exception when either of my parents died and I would never have expected them to put themselves out of pocket to sit there at their funerals. Neither of my parents would have wanted that and I didn't want that. Placing such importance on a choice to attend or not seems bizarre to me. I didn't think any less of anyone who couldn't make it to either funeral.

 

[bakes0310]

Postpone a holiday to spend a couple hours with a dead person, no funny enough.

 

[Puzzled]

Depends on what the rest of the family have said to the grandson, they might have told him to go for all we know.

It took about 6 weeks for my aunts funeral to go ahead as the place she wanted to hold the ceremony was only a small village church but was fully booked, in that time I think 2 people went on holiday and no-one thought anything of it.

 

[413x]

Really polarised this .
Id cancel a weekend mini break but not @ week abroad holiday. If you can't get the money back its a big waste.

Why would you essentially cut contact with a family member for not going ? Surely it's your choice if you go to the funeral.

Let's say you've been there for the person all their life but can't make the funeral.but someone who just turns up to the funeral gets more kudos just got that event?

If it was me dead off target everyone do what they want individually. Its what you did while I was alive that counts

 

[Russinating]

I think it's fine. I'd not have cancelled a holiday for my grandparents' funerals - there's no way any of them would have wanted me to either.

This, and 3 weeks isn't even a abnormal waiting period.