probably not, it's case closed and I just have to decide what i'm doing.
Thanks for the replies all, it's good to get an out the box opinion when you're in the box.
The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
- Thread starter mattyprice4004
- Start date
Thanks for the replies all, it's good to get an out the box opinion when you're in the box.
Its a mind F.
I was close to pushing my gf away at start. I was gagging to say 'what is this?' and 'where are we?' after 1-2 months. Managed not to and it would have been a killer otherwise.
But she also wasn't in it for a bit of fun. But it still took a long time for it to be a relationship
Putting a label on it early doesn't work most of the time
Its better to find out now than 6 months down the road when you've invested time and money and it doesn't go anywhere, i've been there and its just worse!
This. It's important to just go with the flow. But we all say that, easier said than done I guess.
Conversely, we labelled ours as "Nothing long term, just a year of fun, then cut ties after that", and once that year came to an end, oops, we fell in love, and 2 years later, oops, we got married.
Its very hard when you are sure, you think it's a goer, but you can't in your mind label it. It's silly really. Even after labelling it, doesn't mean it's any less likely to end the next day.
Soldato
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Say you're busy this weekend as you've got another date - see if she bites with a reaction.
Conversely, we labelled ours as "Nothing long term, just a year of fun, then cut ties after that", and once that year came to an end, oops, we fell in love, and 2 years later, oops, we got married.
Congratulations
Conversely, we labelled ours as "Nothing long term, just a year of fun, then cut ties after that", and once that year came to an end, oops, we fell in love, and 2 years later, oops, we got married.
Aye, same here really minus the marriage. It's really important not to expect too much early on, regardless of how you feel.
The reason it's so confusing is I've never met a woman that's just in it for a booty call. It's 2019 I guess, women want to be men.
There is something definitely not right with this woman.
She has now commented four times, "live for the moment, because tomorrow may never come" and "I don't want to let you down". Any mention of anything relationship related, even when I'm joking around, she starts a nervous laugh and acts weird.
I'm beginning to think she may have a terminal illness, even though she is extremely fit and looks healthy. It's as if she wants no emotional involvement to protect me. When she's with me she won't let go of me, her body language is saying the opposite to what she wants. I went into my spare room to sleep as she wouldn't let me turn over and sleep while hugging. A few minutes later she came in and said "please don't ever do that again, I thought you might have died"...I look healthy by the way!
Maybe she has suffered a bereavement, perhaps a husband or boyfriend that died? I've dated a woman with genuine mental health issues before, although this one is a mystery to me.
She has now commented four times, "live for the moment, because tomorrow may never come" and "I don't want to let you down". Any mention of anything relationship related, even when I'm joking around, she starts a nervous laugh and acts weird.
I'm beginning to think she may have a terminal illness, even though she is extremely fit and looks healthy. It's as if she wants no emotional involvement to protect me. When she's with me she won't let go of me, her body language is saying the opposite to what she wants. I went into my spare room to sleep as she wouldn't let me turn over and sleep while hugging. A few minutes later she came in and said "please don't ever do that again, I thought you might have died"...I look healthy by the way!
Maybe she has suffered a bereavement, perhaps a husband or boyfriend that died? I've dated a woman with genuine mental health issues before, although this one is a mystery to me.
You know what you want, she does not.
So keep on having fun or find someone else who wants what you want.
Caporegime
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Cut your losses and run
Don't be afraid to sit down and raise it with her. If she takes it badly, which would be unreasonable, then you know it's a red flag. But she might have a genuine reason. You won't know until you ask her.
In years gone past I would have kept quiet, hoping for an improvement and worried to say anything for fear of scaring her off. But now I am older and wiser I realise it's far better to just lay your cards on the table and find out what the other person things and feels. There is little to be gained by just hoping for a change.
I'm so damned curious now, it's like the last word in a crossword, I want to know the answer. The next time she's round I'll ask, I fully expect she'll walk out and it's over, probably for the best.
Although she is incredible in bed, so I may wait
You're giving way too much credence to what she's saying, just don't pay attention to what she says and go with what she actually does. Also as a man why are you worrying about long term prospects 3 weeks in? Just go with the flow and let things evolve naturally, enjoy your time together. Honestly I despair.
Soldato
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HA nope, if you remember my crazy ex (if you count a 3 month relationship) crazy ultimatums and no BJ's before marriage and only liked a single position
Caporegime
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Just don't pay attention to what she says, mcast, but also let things naturally evolve by being a dick, like Roar suggests.