Is it me or are a lot of couples breaking up at the moment?

Soldato
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Then how do you explain me still being madly in love with my wife after we have been together 12 years? We have had our ups and downs and it hasn't been easy but we have always worked it out in the end.

I believe that you need to try and make it fresh and new by trying new things and staying connected through the kids and each other but at the same time have your own time. With this as a healthy balance I think you can last the rest of your days happy and together.

I'm 37 and have had failed relationships before this though. I do truly believe that even now with all the distractions of modern day life people can stay together. Maybe I'm a romantic and I've not always been this way but as I've got older I've become more and more invested in my family and my wife emotionally, financially and physically.

I also think that the modern selfish way of living breeds some very weak people in regards to commitment and that kinda makes it easy for them to not bother working on a relationship. At the same time they might never know what a true connection is with your partner as that takes time, effort, humility and selflessness.

Humans are complex and are governed by more than simple socio-biology, as such no individual can be predictable. But the behaviour of general populations can be.

At the nasty end of Socio-biology you have the "Baby P" situation.

Where this happens it is almost always the case that the infant is abused to death by the male partner who is not the biological father while the biological mother does little to intervene. Just like Lions do when they take over a pride and kill all the cubs that are not theirs and the lionesses sit back and let them do it.

Some people are just more driven by their instincts than others.
 
Soldato
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Humans are complex and are governed by more than simple socio-biology, as such no individual can be predictable. But the behaviour of general populations can be.

At the nasty end of Socio-biology you have the "Baby P" situation.

Where this happens it is almost always the case that the infant is abused to death by the male partner who is not the biological father while the biological mother does little to intervene. Just like Lions do when they take over a pride and kill all the cubs that are not theirs and the lionesses sit back and let them do it.

Some people are just more driven by their instincts than others.
I feel you might be over simplifying this or am I falling for your trollollollolling?
 
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Yea that all makes sense due to the time of year but I do think it's just so easy for people to split up these days.

There seems to be a real lack of fighting for it.

Id say that the lack of big commitments these days that allow people to break up easier.

People aren't buying houses until much later, they aren't having kids as young. Divorce is also much more accepted and there's definitely the idea that the grass appears much greener than it has before with this fake social media filtered content.
 
Soldato
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Whilst Christmas time can be stressful for some, the OP did mention he'd noticed it increase over the last six months....which puts us around summer time.

I think people generally can't be bothered with having to put up with crap, so have no issues with calling it a day. Decades ago a divorce was frowned upon, plus less and less people these days are getting married.

I think it's the norm.
 
Soldato
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Whilst Christmas time can be stressful for some, the OP did mention he'd noticed it increase over the last six months....which puts us around summer time.

I think people generally can't be bothered with having to put up with crap, so have no issues with calling it a day. Decades ago a divorce was frowned upon, plus less and less people these days are getting married.

I think it's the norm.
Thanks for noticing. Yea it's been for a while that I've noticed this trend happening more and more. The worrying thing I also see is that it tends to run like a disease from couple to couple. All of my wife's girl friends seem to be breaking up or having similar issues such as a break and such.
 
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Thanks for noticing. Yea it's been for a while that I've noticed this trend happening more and more. The worrying thing I also see is that it tends to run like a disease from couple to couple. All of my wife's girl friends seem to be breaking up or having similar issues such as a break and such.
perhaps people see the newly single person out having fun, going on dates, enjoying the excitment that being single and dating can bring, and wanting it too?
 
Man of Honour
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I think it's the norm

Pretty sure it's been around 2 out of 3 breakups since the 80s but you're right, there's no commitment anymore and some people just seem to walk into a marriage quickly.
My daughters attended a wedding two years ago where the ring cost £15,000 and the wedding cost £40,000, you guessed it, they've split up.
I'm going for a meal in a minute with one of my Nephews, he still owes £8000 for his wedding about 3 years ago and she walked out last year.
 
Soldato
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Pretty sure it's been around 2 out of 3 breakups since the 80s but you're right, there's no commitment anymore and some people just seem to walk into a marriage quickly.
My daughters attended a wedding two years ago where the ring cost £15,000 and the wedding cost £40,000, you guessed it, they've split up.
I'm going for a meal in a minute with one of my Nephews, he still owes £8000 for his wedding about 3 years ago and she walked out last year.

£55,000 for a wedding and ring

Sorry, but I did have a chuckle at that. Jeez, and I assume a lot finance it like your Nephew
 
Soldato
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The worrying thing I also see is that it tends to run like a disease from couple to couple. All of my wife's girl friends seem to be breaking up or having similar issues such as a break and such.
When my ex-wife left me she spent a few months going from friend to friend telling them all how it was the best thing that she'd ever done, she felt so strong and powerful, etc. That caused another two break-ups. The sad thing is that, knowing the woman, it's obvious to me and her family that all she was really doing was covering for the fact that she left me for a fella who then dropped her like a hot rock and went back to his his wife & daughters. Her own ego wouldn't let her 'lose' (as I had moved on and was happy again) so she had to spin it, to herself more than anyone else.
 
Man of Honour
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and I assume a lot finance it like your Nephew

I suppose he's taking the hit because she's left with the two kids and she's got no money.
Like a lot of blokes, so he has his kids regular, he's working his ass off to to keep her happy but that also means he's still got the debt of the wedding and his car plus other stuff.
She did take the car but he put his foot down on that and bought her a runaround.
When kids are in the mix it becomes hell for the majority of men.
I'm in a Facebook Group called Men Unite and sometimes it's hard to take in what some men are put through, I know we've had many posters on here.
 
Soldato
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£55,000 for a wedding and ring

Sorry, but I did have a chuckle at that. Jeez, and I assume a lot finance it like your Nephew


The old adage was always "The more extravagant the wedding the shorter the marriage"

Registry office with half a dozen friends and a pub lunch afterwards is the way to go :D
 
Caporegime
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I guess this might mean getting hitched later on in life is a good thing?

I was 36, wife 37, and we were both deathly sick of the dating/single life, and got all that out of our systems in our 20s and early 30s.

Living your life, finding our who you are and what you really want, and then settling down might have a better success rate than getting hitched and knocked up in your early 20s.
 
Soldato
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I was utterly confident in my double decade plus relationship, had 100 percent trust but she was seeing someone else, that's because I took things for granted and was complacent.
If you don't put the effort in somebody else wull
Still very good friends

Did she take things for granted? You shouldn't be taking the blame for a partner cheating on you
 
Soldato
OP
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When my ex-wife left me she spent a few months going from friend to friend telling them all how it was the best thing that she'd ever done, she felt so strong and powerful, etc. That caused another two break-ups. The sad thing is that, knowing the woman, it's obvious to me and her family that all she was really doing was covering for the fact that she left me for a fella who then dropped her like a hot rock and went back to his his wife & daughters. Her own ego wouldn't let her 'lose' (as I had moved on and was happy again) so she had to spin it, to herself more than anyone else.
Not that I wish to point the finger at our female friends here but girls are very good at self preservation when it comes to break ups. They can spin a yarn even if it's a blatant lie, their friends will still support them and keep them haply even if they know it. Its a shame really because as a result they rarely will come back and admit they were wrong and want to try again. Toxic friends are very common and they can convince each other that the bloke they are with isn't good enough for them or something
 
Soldato
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I guess this might mean getting hitched later on in life is a good thing?

I was 36, wife 37, and we were both deathly sick of the dating/single life, and got all that out of our systems in our 20s and early 30s.

Living your life, finding our who you are and what you really want, and then settling down might have a better success rate than getting hitched and knocked up in your early 20s.

I can agree with.

Late teens, 20's and (maybe)early 30's. Is a good time to enjoy life and focus on yourself.

When you come to your 30's and its all out of your system, you are a better catch and not recovering from divorce or being a single parent.
 
Soldato
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The old adage was always "The more extravagant the wedding the shorter the marriage"

Registry office with half a dozen friends and a pub lunch afterwards is the way to go :D

£55k is one hell of a deposit for a house....maybe that's why not many people get married as they use the money for other stuff (which also carries its own set of problems)
 
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