Soldato
Never buying a motorbike for the road when I was racing. Fantastic life completely upended by 1 moment I can't even remember. Still going through the ringer after 11yrs.
If you could change an event in your life what would it be ?
- Thread starter Robbod
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Oh I should have bought flat on a student guarantor mortgage back in around 1995. They were throwing money and mortgages at people then. I stupidly decided I wouldn't be responsible enough or be able to find roommates to keep up payments.
That was a big mistake I could have had a nice pot of money now. Probably around £150,000 or so.
That was a big mistake I could have had a nice pot of money now. Probably around £150,000 or so.
Still 1000x better than the right vs left squabbling in every other thread.
My greatest regret is not proposing to @Maccy before I lost him forever.
You have to be cognisant of what might have happened or not happened in your life if you changed some event from your past.
e.g., my first thought was, if I could change something in my life, I wouldn’t have gone into The Swan P.H. Old Kent Road, that fateful Friday night in 1969, laid eyes on the most beautiful girl to ever come out of Poland, been struck by “un coup de foudre”, and left my wife and two children.
Some twenty years after all this happened, and the Polish girl had long realised her mistake, and migrated to New Zealand, I wouldn’t have met the wonderful woman who is now my wife.
Notwithstanding that, I still hate the memory of my first wife silently mouthing “Why?” as I opened the door to go, with my youngest holding my leg, crying “Don’t go daddy.”
I’ll go to my grave remembering that.
e.g., my first thought was, if I could change something in my life, I wouldn’t have gone into The Swan P.H. Old Kent Road, that fateful Friday night in 1969, laid eyes on the most beautiful girl to ever come out of Poland, been struck by “un coup de foudre”, and left my wife and two children.
Some twenty years after all this happened, and the Polish girl had long realised her mistake, and migrated to New Zealand, I wouldn’t have met the wonderful woman who is now my wife.
Notwithstanding that, I still hate the memory of my first wife silently mouthing “Why?” as I opened the door to go, with my youngest holding my leg, crying “Don’t go daddy.”
I’ll go to my grave remembering that.
This is one hell of an escalation.
Soldato
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woah man thats brutal. Is your relationship with your kids good today?
Soldato
OP's weird and concerning post aside, is an interesting one to think about. I guess there are loads of things I regret doing/not doing, but it's impossible to know where things would have led if I had taken a different path. Might have made me much happier, or might have made me much less happy, who can say.
If I was choosing one thing though, I think it would be to have gone to boarding school. When I was in secondary school my parents floated the idea of boarding school and asked if I'd be interested in going. I said no, I think mainly because I was a bit shy and timid, and scared of going to a new environment where I wouldn't know anyone, and I'd miss my friends. However, looking back I think it could have been a chance to really develop. Also looking back, while some of my school friendships were good and positive, I think some of them were really unhealthy in hindsight - a clean break (with the opportunity to see old friends that actually liked me in the holidays) might have been good. Would have got me away from my parents too - while they always cared for me, they argued with each other a lot, and in hindsight it was definitely not a healthy relationship. I think that tension at home probably affected me a lot more than I realised at the time.
Who knows, might also have been best buds with some lord's son and get to go and holiday in his spare castle or something.
If I was choosing one thing though, I think it would be to have gone to boarding school. When I was in secondary school my parents floated the idea of boarding school and asked if I'd be interested in going. I said no, I think mainly because I was a bit shy and timid, and scared of going to a new environment where I wouldn't know anyone, and I'd miss my friends. However, looking back I think it could have been a chance to really develop. Also looking back, while some of my school friendships were good and positive, I think some of them were really unhealthy in hindsight - a clean break (with the opportunity to see old friends that actually liked me in the holidays) might have been good. Would have got me away from my parents too - while they always cared for me, they argued with each other a lot, and in hindsight it was definitely not a healthy relationship. I think that tension at home probably affected me a lot more than I realised at the time.
Who knows, might also have been best buds with some lord's son and get to go and holiday in his spare castle or something.
Soldato
Not getting a second opinion when I was told i just had migraines. It turned out to be serious blood pressure issues. It's ruined me, lost me a good job, caused other health implications and ruined my marriage.
Still, these things are sent to test us, right?>
Still, these things are sent to test us, right?>
That sounds very similar to my situation, I was offered chance in last years to go to boarding school, patents also argued a lot and school was pretty uninspiring place.
I also declined as you said at that age something like that could be pretty damaging unless your pretty outgoing and extraverted.
You must be the one who slipped through the net.
This sounds fairly brutal - what happened if you don't mind me asking?
Seems a bit of a troll thread but taken at face value there are a couple of considerations:
1) Are we talking about things that could realistically be changed had we acted differently ourselves, or just a magic wand scenario "I wish so-and-so hadn't got cancer and died"?
2) Butterfly Effect / infinite parallel universes making it impossible to predict what course of events would have transpired if event X didn't happen. We could pick an event that we expect to make our lives better by changing (because we believe it made our lives worse) but that could inadvertently set off a chain of events resulting in an even worse outcome - maybe we'd already be dead for example if our life had gone down a different path, even if that path looked more favourable at the point of branching. The grass isn't always greener and all that.
3) I like to make the distinction between decisions that only look bad with hindsight versus decisions that we realistically could have made differently at the time without knowing the future. So for example we've probably all made mistakes that we'd make again given the same information, but there might be some choices that we could have taken a different direction, maybe just spending a little more time thinking about, or seeking advice, or whatever.
1) Are we talking about things that could realistically be changed had we acted differently ourselves, or just a magic wand scenario "I wish so-and-so hadn't got cancer and died"?
2) Butterfly Effect / infinite parallel universes making it impossible to predict what course of events would have transpired if event X didn't happen. We could pick an event that we expect to make our lives better by changing (because we believe it made our lives worse) but that could inadvertently set off a chain of events resulting in an even worse outcome - maybe we'd already be dead for example if our life had gone down a different path, even if that path looked more favourable at the point of branching. The grass isn't always greener and all that.
3) I like to make the distinction between decisions that only look bad with hindsight versus decisions that we realistically could have made differently at the time without knowing the future. So for example we've probably all made mistakes that we'd make again given the same information, but there might be some choices that we could have taken a different direction, maybe just spending a little more time thinking about, or seeking advice, or whatever.
That make me laugh!
Yes, strangely enough, more so with the younger son who had held on to me, crying.
The elder son took it in and bottled it up, and was bordering on ambivalence toward me for years, but when I had a health scare, he was all over me, gently taking the ****, but with me 100%.
My youngest grandson, nearly 18, asked what would I like for my birthday, I said, (tongue in cheek), “Oh, maybe for grandma to realise her mistake, and beg me to come back.”
He said, “Yeah? Good luck with that grandad!”
Soldato
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- 30 Sep 2005
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My friend has a masters degree and never went to college (he failed all his GCSEs)
He now co-authors network security books and writes white papers for the 'brainy people who made it to university"
This guy also left school with nothing - https://uk.linkedin.com/in/trevorholden
Soldato
No Issue.
Basically died a few times, severe head injury, broke 10+ bones, collapsed both lungs, lost years of memory, had to relearn everything (tying shoelaces, standing up, walking, job, people, eating etc) and lots of metal in my leg and arms etc. Think this might sum it up better? I can't remember writing this but my memory is shocking now and I've had to relearn to adapt everything. Because of the head injury i'm having to undergo further testing as I want to go further. I've since left my job and gone back to the hospital I was at to help people in therapy to walk again etc.
It's come around full circle and I am my own worst enemy. It's really weird looking through old threads. https://forums.overclockers.co.uk/threads/helpimcrap-in-big-smash.17936015/
Believing the criminal justice system would prevail and that a certain person would finally get what was coming.
I would go back and take a baseball bat to that person.
Some women I wish I had never met or grown a pair to ask out etc.
Such is life.
I would go back and take a baseball bat to that person.
Some women I wish I had never met or grown a pair to ask out etc.
Such is life.
Soldato
I should have stayed in school. Not doing so has ruined me as a person. Well it wasn't just that but it sure didn't help.
@Robbod I'm not too far off your age and you're in a much more stable position than myself and a lot of other people. At this stage I could only dream of affording a mortgage. As it is, it would be a dream for me to actually be able to have my own place at the moment, even as rental. My brother (who also pulled out of school alongside me) met someone with a bit of money, who inherited one side of her parents money. Even more money will come from the other side. She helped him to progress his life, I don't envy him but sure I wish I could have had that opportunity. Not everyone gets the same things in life and I've accepted mine for what it is but regardless, this path has given me a wonderful child and I wouldn't change that for anything anymore.
@Robbod I'm not too far off your age and you're in a much more stable position than myself and a lot of other people. At this stage I could only dream of affording a mortgage. As it is, it would be a dream for me to actually be able to have my own place at the moment, even as rental. My brother (who also pulled out of school alongside me) met someone with a bit of money, who inherited one side of her parents money. Even more money will come from the other side. She helped him to progress his life, I don't envy him but sure I wish I could have had that opportunity. Not everyone gets the same things in life and I've accepted mine for what it is but regardless, this path has given me a wonderful child and I wouldn't change that for anything anymore.
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