**The Mental Health Thread**

Burnout from a non-stressful job is real. A low-work job sounds great until you get in that rut. Sounds like social situations are draining for you, I'm going to throw out the often unwanted "have you thought about ASD or similar diagnosis?" but that's for you to want to follow up on. It does make 'normal' day-to-day stuff hard though, you get exhausted, don't have time for you, are constantly thinking and the quiet time to decompress takes up more and more of your day, if that sounds familiar then there are things you can do.

Do you have, or WANT purpose? I've found myself trying to do more 'good' which I think helps a little.
Sitting around doing nothing isn't great but doing that 90% of the time and the remaining 10% getting involved in something community minded, a cleanup, a volunteering group, ANYTHING where you can leave the world a tiny bit better than the burning dumpster fire it currently is makes things not quite as bad. It's not world changing but it's something.
 
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Rob_B said:
Burnout from a non-stressful job is real. A low-work job sounds great until you get in that rut. Sounds like social situatiosn are draining for you, I'm going to throw out the often unwanted "have you thought about ASD or similar diagnosis?" but that's for you to want to follow up on. It does make 'normal' day-to-day stuff hard though, you get exhausted, don't have time for you, are constantly thinking and the quiet tiome to decompress takes up more and more of your day, if that sounds familiar then there are things you can do.

Do you have, or WANT purpose? I've found myself trying to do more 'good' which I think helps a little.
Sitting around doing nothing isn't great but doing that 90% of the time and the remaining 10% getting involved in something community minded, a cleanup, a volunteering group, ANYTHING where you can leave the world a tiny bit better than the burning dumpster fire it currently is makes things not quite as bad. It's not world changing but it's something.
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I find it very difficult to think that way. Maybe I'm just too far gone pessimism wise, but it's so difficult to get beyond the fact that human existence will almost certainly be insignificant and utterly pointless in the grand scheme of the universe.

It almost feels like the suffering, anxiety etc is all by design, or just inherently a part of how things work nature wise. Is it truly worth trying to fruitlessly combat it?
 
Jono8 said:
.. human existence will almost certainly be insignificant and utterly pointless in the grand scheme of the universe.
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Oh of course in the grand scheme of things it absolutely is :D but we can try to enjoy it while we're here!

I'm Mr Pessimism and have been for a long time but I'm working on that, the 'purpose' thing is part of it. You can make the world a better place, maybe it'll be a tiny thing but it's do-able and I think it is worth doing especially as the people trying to **** things up seem to dmanage it without a second thought. If you can realise you are doing something good then that helps with the 'why do I bother doing anything?' mindset which it seems you're in at the moment. What you've described is unfortunately common, or at least I would say it is.
 
Rob_B said:
Burnout from a non-stressful job is real. A low-work job sounds great until you get in that rut. Sounds like social situatiosn are draining for you,
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They weren't always that way, which is why i find the whole situation confusing. But pieces of the puzzle fit.

Rob_B said:
I'm going to throw out the often unwanted "have you thought about ASD or similar diagnosis?", if that sounds familiar then there are things you can do.
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A few years ago i saw a thread titled that. I briefly read it on my usual OC browse as i didn't know what it was really. Upon reading some replies describing it, alarm bells started ringing. I have a distant friend who said he was autistic at some point, it didn't register with me and i thought nothing of it. It's just like i mentioned about when a close friend started talking about his planning of suicide, again, nothing really registered at the point in time. I have avoided any mention of myself like that for various reasons, and i wish it was simple. What are the things you are relating to that i can do?

Rob_B said:
Do you have, or WANT purpose? I've found myself trying to do more 'good' which I think helps a little.
Sitting around doing nothing isn't great but doing that 90% of the time and the remaining 10% getting involved in something community minded, a cleanup, a volunteering group, ANYTHING where you can leave the world a tiny bit better than the burning dumpster fire it currently is makes things not quite as bad. It's not world changing but it's something.
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Yes, that's a major problem. I have various positive traits, but they have worked against me in work, and I've gone through lots of jobs. As Jono8 says, the pessimism has taken over, somewhat. I still have time for people, but I actively try and make an effort to hold myself back when in many situations as I've been burned too many times. I occasionally do litter picking, but due to the gamble of social situations I have avoided groups completely. There are other issues at play which I'm kinda getting help for, and they just compound.


Thank you for replying!
 
You can look into an ASD disgnosis if you feel you want to, NHS will be years, if you have a work health insurance you may find they cover this and it'll be significantly quicker.

Now what does this give you?
Let's say it's a positive diagnosis, you can acknowledge it may be part of your problems and look for ways to cope or deal with it.
The social battery thing is a big one, I've made more effort to inform people that i can find it difficult in busy/loud/extended situations, then I don't feel as guilty leaving or saying no (I don't have an ASD diagnosis btw this just helps me)

It may not be that, you may not want it to be that, there are other things going on as you mentioned so this isn't a silver bullet butc find out what is going on and what you can do about it before giving up, baby steps yeah? :)
 
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LuckyBenski said:
How's everyone holding up?

@413x How has landing back in blighty gone?
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Ugh it's poop to be back. It's not been too bad so far mental health wise. Went for swim in sea on Thursday. But brown and cold wasn't great vs coral, clear a warm.
Had friends over this weekend which has kind of mitigated reality.

After they leave its going to be wtf do I do.
I'm really not wanting to go back to my old career for 15k less, worse conditions worse benefits. But that looks like what will happen. This thought is what concerns me most. I just don't think I'll care about having to take a worse job in every way.

But I can't work out an alternative.
The ideas for what I want to do and what I can do just seem to be mutually exclusive.

There are a few "meh" paths. But nothing that's excited me.

Thanks for checking in though. The holiday is the best thing I've done in my life.
 
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413x said:
So I've lost my job earlier in the year and been travelling around south east asia for a bit.

I've been living out of a 40l bag for that time and I haven't missed all the stuff I have at home.

Now with the gf under the threat of redundancy I'm wondering if this 9-5, house, pay off mortgage is for me.

I've flirted with the idea of jacking it all in. But with combo of job, my career sector dying and never really feeling the normal life fits me, plus mental health battles.. I'm now considering something radical more seriously.

I absolutely do not need a house. And all the stuff and hassle that comes with it.

Maybe this series of events is a kick I need. It's hard breaking my mind out of "doing the sensible thing"

Let's face it, if my career is dying and gf also in same boat, might not even be much choice!
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Not sure what you do. But why don't you just rent it out? We all have issues,l. I personally can't keep fighting people who completely fail at their jobs. I just don't know how they hire these people. I had enough of the UK always trying to stay on top. Nothing works in this country its systemic which makes it hard to repair.
I met a lot of people that feel the same, I'm not willing to continue like this.

We decided to emigrate it may or may not work out but I am willing to take that risk.
 
As regards low end jobs i do one through choice i think its the social aspect that helps , when i lost the plot a little and had 6 months off that's the thing i missed as i don't connect well with people i don't know , its a small mixed team (age and gender) doing various tasks in a small production area but there is constant small talk, debate, youtube music , random dance moves ect you just join in when you want or don't , its quite cool really
also
One thing i tend to do is repeat my days out exactly , walking the exact same route , i definitely find changing things around gives an easy boost , i.e not knowing what's around the next corner
i also put things off , another thing that seems to clutter your mind , trying to sort that also
 
I've managed to get an appointment with a private psychiatrist through my wife's health insurance at work, as you can add a partner for a small fee.

My life is functional on the surface, i.e. well paid job, married, one year old boy who is fantastic, but over the last few years my brain feels like it's turning to mush and trying to hold it all together is becoming more and more of a challenge, so I've decided to try and get on top of it before it potentially reaches boiling point.
 
Ayahuasca said:
I've managed to get an appointment with a private psychiatrist through my wife's health insurance at work, as you can add a partner for a small fee.

My life is functional on the surface, i.e. well paid job, married, one year old boy who is fantastic, but over the last few years my brain feels like it's turning to mush and trying to hold it all together is becoming more and more of a challenge, so I've decided to try and get on top of it before it potentially reaches boiling point.
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Good news that you managed to get an appointment. I hope it goes well for you. One thing I would say is take some notes before you go so you don't accidentally miss something you wanted to say. I've never been private so not sure how that differs from the NHS but it should be good.
 
moon man said:
As regards low end jobs i do one through choice i think its the social aspect that helps , when i lost the plot a little and had 6 months off that's the thing i missed as i don't connect well with people i don't know , its a small mixed team (age and gender) doing various tasks in a small production area but there is constant small talk, debate, youtube music , random dance moves ect you just join in when you want or don't , its quite cool really
also
One thing i tend to do is repeat my days out exactly , walking the exact same route , i definitely find changing things around gives an easy boost , i.e not knowing what's around the next corner
i also put things off , another thing that seems to clutter your mind , trying to sort that also
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My brother went through the same thing a few years ago. He retired at aged 40 and him and the wife bought a large manor house in the depths of Devonshire somewhere, and they spent the next few years travelling the world. Got tired of that, came back and slowly went mad with boredom. Now he is working as a caretaker for a Hogwarts type private school. Not even sure if he is getting paid, maybe just volunteering. Gives him purpose and reason to get up in the morning.
 
Cromulent said:
Good news that you managed to get an appointment. I hope it goes well for you. One thing I would say is take some notes before you go so you don't accidentally miss something you wanted to say. I've never been private so not sure how that differs from the NHS but it should be good.
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They are going to drastically cut lots of help on the NHS .Talking therapies, has been targeted for massive cuts look like Private might be the solution.
 
Tram said:
They are going to drastically cut lots of help on the NHS .Talking therapies, has been targeted for massive cuts look like Private might be the solution.
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Not gonna lie, my thoughts on this are very mixed. As someone who has benefitted greatly from good talking therapy and whose life has been hugely improved by it, I think it's atrocious that they want to cut services for mental health.

On the other hand, as a newly qualified counsellor, I'm hoping there will be plenty of people going private and I'll be able to make a living from helping people. :cry:
 
moon man said:
As regards low end jobs i do one through choice i think its the social aspect that helps , when i lost the plot a little and had 6 months off that's the thing i missed as i don't connect well with people i don't know , its a small mixed team (age and gender) doing various tasks in a small production area but there is constant small talk, debate, youtube music , random dance moves ect you just join in when you want or don't , its quite cool really
also
One thing i tend to do is repeat my days out exactly , walking the exact same route , i definitely find changing things around gives an easy boost , i.e not knowing what's around the next corner
i also put things off , another thing that seems to clutter your mind , trying to sort that also
Click to expand...
My low end job as a cleaner did me a lot of good over the past 12 months, it helped that my colleagues were nice, I never got the impression I was looked down on.

Time to move on now anyway, I've done almost a year in that job which was my first job in 15 years so I had to accept any job basically. I start a new job tomorrow as a warehouse operative so not rocket science but I'm glad I won't be cleaning poo & pee from toilets anymore, it's more money and the hours suit me better. I wouldn't have got this job had I not done the cleaning job for the last year.

Edit: quick update, my new job is ok, the people are fine, the job is quite physically demanding but not too bad and definitely not as demanding as my previous cleaning role. Also, we finished nearly an hour earlier than our rota'd hours but we still get the hours pay, can't complain.
 
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Just realised something about my above post ^ have I set a record for how many times a short post contains the word 'job' :D I'm a bit nervous about tomorrow, I have 'job' on my mind I guess :)
 
It's been over 18 months since I've been depression and anxiety free despite having a few massive life changing events I've been able to ride the waves.

I'm not sure if the SSRIs I was given actually helped but the CBT and coaching I received really helped.

Learning to regulate and boost my neurotransmitters was a clincher for me. I suffered in silence for 3 years until I snapped, and amazingly my true friends came out of nowhere to help me pick up the pieces of my life that I was letting fall around me. Took a good 20 months of treatment I reckon.

So yeah, 18 months ago I finished my pills, and my last CBT session. I still do to this day some of the daily exercises to calm down etc... but I've found that exercise and learning have been for me a massive way of focussing positivity into my life.

Just doing little things like quitting social media, online games, spending 10 mins outside in the morning, making my bed first thing, and really spending focussed time with my children are amongst the few things that have really helped me move to more positive mindset. Quitting a **** job and surrounding myself with good people helped.

I still have worries and difficulties but they're just human adult experiences that we all face in our day to day lives. Worrying about the kids, money, family etc...

Reducing UPF To less than 20% of our week's food has been transformative as well.

When I hit a bad patch I go back to some of the CBT tools I was introduced to and they really do help. After over a year of doing them they become part of life. I think I was for many years just over stimulated by quick dopamine hits and was bad at letting my body slowly build it up. So I essentially "forgot" what it was like to be happy by just being present in the moment and not seeking positive dopamine triggers. I've also retrained my AMCC (Anterior Mid-Cingulate Cortex) to embrace the grit and determination which directly supports the rewards pathway. It's not fun nor easy but it's working but it's made the effort to do things I don't want to do reduce and the sense of accomplishment afterwards is significant. I'm still on that journey.

I'm a lot happier now than I have been for a long time but I do feel like I'm vulnerable all the time if I don't put the effort in. However I guess I've learned that the effort is worthwhile.

Sorry for the brain dump. Just felt inspired to share.
 
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