Not sure if this will help but you could talk to your GP about Melatonin. I take it every night and it does help but it is prescription only. Having said that it is not addictive like Zopiclone so your GP might be more willing to prescribe it.
**The Mental Health Thread**
- Thread starter Gabbatek
- Start date
I haven't called them but I have emailed the Samaritans in the past. I had a positive experience. They just help your think about problems in an alternative light.
Soldato
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Please do reach out, whether it's a phone or email helpline. There is no wrong option here other than keeping things to yourself if it's hurting you.
Helping numbers to call are in post #1 of this thread.
I used the Contaminated Blood Inquiry's helpline (Red Cross) a few years ago, before I gave evidence at a hearing.
Was seriously struggling to decide whether to pull out and keep my anonymity, or go on record and have my "shame" made public.
They were brilliant - allowed me to see the benefit of holding government to account, that others might get the courage to do the same.
I don't think I would have been able to do it if I hadn't already experienced the value of talking therapy/CBT/EMDR in 2019, but I found the process cathartic (and bloody terrifying).
Sometimes, all we need is someone to listen without judgement, or the need for actual advice.
Soldato
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I read before bed, really calms my mind and makes me sleepy.
Soldato
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Few things for me which help with sleep:
No caffeine after 12 (mid day)
Exercise before 16:00, else the buzz can keep me awake - exercise is key in tiring me out though
Chilling out before going to bed - could be music, reading or whatever. Nothing engaging as it keeps my brain active for a while.
No eating after 20:00
But in summary, mentally tired + physically tired is a good place to start
No caffeine after 12 (mid day)
Exercise before 16:00, else the buzz can keep me awake - exercise is key in tiring me out though
Chilling out before going to bed - could be music, reading or whatever. Nothing engaging as it keeps my brain active for a while.
No eating after 20:00
But in summary, mentally tired + physically tired is a good place to start
I had an appointment with a private psychiatrist yesterday and he was brilliant. He may be the first person I've ever spoken to who seemed to understand and who asked all the right questions.
He prescribed mirtazapine and although I'm reluctant to start taking another drug, particularly one that often leads to weight gain, I've reached a point where I need to give it a try. He also recommended an intensive 12–16-session CBT course, which I hope I can do with him if the insurance allows!
He prescribed mirtazapine and although I'm reluctant to start taking another drug, particularly one that often leads to weight gain, I've reached a point where I need to give it a try. He also recommended an intensive 12–16-session CBT course, which I hope I can do with him if the insurance allows!
Had my official ADOS assessment results yesterday (8 month process through the Owl Centre, via NHS Right-to-Choose)...
...to my Wife's utter shock and surprise, I'm definitely Autistic:
"High Functioning, but also hit comparable markers on Anti-Social Personality Disorder testing; likely response to childhood trauma. Strong sense of personal honour, struggles to empathise and unable to feel guilt or remorse..."
I don't care about or need the label, but it's helped provide context to a lot of my life.
I've ordered my "Not a ****, just Autistic" badge, so I can stop pretending to apologise for things...
...to my Wife's utter shock and surprise, I'm definitely Autistic:
"High Functioning, but also hit comparable markers on Anti-Social Personality Disorder testing; likely response to childhood trauma. Strong sense of personal honour, struggles to empathise and unable to feel guilt or remorse..."
I don't care about or need the label, but it's helped provide context to a lot of my life.
I've ordered my "Not a ****, just Autistic" badge, so I can stop pretending to apologise for things...
Do you mean one of those online tests, or a proper assessment?
I've been assessed and not diagnosed, but it turns out that CPTSD presents in similar ways.
Been on Mirtazipine for just over 2 years - I did gain weight; I don't think it was the medication entirely to blame, but the fact that I got enjoyment out of food again.
I started Mounjaro in January and have lost nearly 3st (also using Huel/Yfoods meal replacement shakes for breakfast).
Can also highly recommend CBT - I started talking therapy in 2019/20 with an excellent counsellor. It took me quite a while to begin feeling anywhere close to comfortable sharing my traumas, but once I did, she really helped me process and unpack the mess in my head.
After lockdown ended, I was able to attend in-person and started EMDR therapy, to help me focus on the specific moments responsible for my PTSD.
My only goal from therapy was to be able to share what I'd been through with my Wife - I'd only ever given her snippets during huge, angry meltdowns. I didn't have the tools to calmly unpack and describe things, without getting worked up.
CBT/EMDR genuinely saved my marriage and my life.
Try and stick at it, as hard as it will feel.
Soldato
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I had initially decided not to pursue an autism diagnosis because the ADHD assessment in 2021 was quite exhausting and intense. But given I'm off work with stress and I think that is a systemic problem, I'm reconsidering. I expected it to take a lot longer than 8 months even with RTC if I'm honest.
Around 2 years ago, after some suspicions, me and my partner decided to make adjustments as if I'm autistic. It had a massively positive effect on home life, on my happiness and hopefully hers too. It took a lot of stress out of our relationship when we had a way of navigating and communicating my various differences. So that has been a success, but negotiating the same adjustments at work might be helped by a diagnosis. I'm not too comfortable asserting that I'm autistic without it, especially when I have someone on the spectrum within my team who is much more discrete about himself.
I was prescribed mirtazapine in my final year of uni, and felt I needed it to get through that stress. I did find I gained weight, because my appetite especially for sweet things rocketed. But I had already been gaining weight from stress-eating chocolate and coffee to survive lectures. I did get to a point I would carry a multi-pack of chocolate bars with me and cane several per day. Keep an eye on it, I definitely think it's that mirtazapine makes you eat more rather than just random weight gain.
Soldato
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Spoke to GP again as it's been a week signed off with stress. This one wasn't as receptive and didn't seem to ask any questions or lead a discussion. Just gave me a 2 week fit note and said they'll refer me for talking therapy. I might not be eligible depending on the insurance exclusions when I signed up, let's see.
So I guess tomorrow > don't go back to work, this week > try to get a bit better?
I've struggled all week to get moving. Its almost like a fear of getting up and starting anything, especially outdoor jobs. I took 3 days to talk myself into opening the front door and washing the car.
So I guess tomorrow > don't go back to work, this week > try to get a bit better?
I've struggled all week to get moving. Its almost like a fear of getting up and starting anything, especially outdoor jobs. I took 3 days to talk myself into opening the front door and washing the car.
The pressure of "I'm off work so I should do something" also doesn't help.
No one can force you into a productive mood but maybe sit outside with a coffee? pick some weeds from the garden, potter around, get comfortable being relaxed with no pressure to do anything and see where that gets you?
No one can force you into a productive mood but maybe sit outside with a coffee? pick some weeds from the garden, potter around, get comfortable being relaxed with no pressure to do anything and see where that gets you?
This is good advice. Go easy on yourself. Don't feel bad for just relaxing and not thinking about things. There is plenty of time and no need to rush anything.
![[FnG]magnolia](/styles/overclockers/avatars/9.png){kind=avatar}
Caporegime
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Did you open the front door and wash the car, champ?
Soldato
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Yes that's what I'm trying to do, as much as possible
It's a balance, I think I did/do just need to "stop" entirely for a bit. But I'm hoping to see change in my mental state rather than just "Had a rest, go back to work now".
I could go back tomorrow but it'd be just the same as the last 2 years - turning up for work but zero mental capacity left for real life. I need to see something shift internally before I'm going to consider work again. That might take a while.
It's a balance, I think I did/do just need to "stop" entirely for a bit. But I'm hoping to see change in my mental state rather than just "Had a rest, go back to work now".
I could go back tomorrow but it'd be just the same as the last 2 years - turning up for work but zero mental capacity left for real life. I need to see something shift internally before I'm going to consider work again. That might take a while.
Soldato
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I did! Even thought it started raining. Car washed, soft top scrubbed, and inconvenient hose rolled up in porch. My one achievement yesterday.