OcUK Dadsnet thread

Ours are in mixed years due to small class sizes.

Not an issue, if you've got a good teacher they know how to stream two different years and we've never had any issue with it.

What are your concerns? Perhaps I can address them more directly.
I guess it's partly having the reception kids in the same class as Year 2's. I grew up in a mixed Year 1 and 2 class and that was fine.

I think the Mrs decided to tell me at the worst possible point of the evening when what I really needed was to sit in silence for a couple of hours. In hindsight, it wasn't really that big a deal, but I think because I was already in a bit if a spiral with other things and it just exacerbated the flump I was in.

It was the first time in quite a while where I've felt really worn down mentally (although feeling more myself today).
 
I guess it's partly having the reception kids in the same class as Year 2's. I grew up in a mixed Year 1 and 2 class and that was fine.

I think the Mrs decided to tell me at the worst possible point of the evening when what I really needed was to sit in silence for a couple of hours. In hindsight, it wasn't really that big a deal, but I think because I was already in a bit if a spiral with other things and it just exacerbated the flump I was in.

It was the first time in quite a while where I've felt really worn down mentally (although feeling more myself today).
Ok - sounds like a lot of issues compounding down - honestly we've never had an issue with it, and its worked really well with helping our younger one get better at socialising.
 
Any dads able to chip in with potential ways/advice to shift our 9 month olds wake up times from being 5am to being 6am+?

We've tried things like trying to cap daytime sleep, letting her sleep longer, trying to put her to bed later and earlier but she just loves waking at around 5am. We cant seem to figure out what the best combo is. She doesn't cry when she wakes up but she lies there chatting and making noises and we try and just leave her for a bit to see if she goes back to sleep but she doesn't.

The only thing we haven't tried massively is trying to cap daytime sleep a bit more, which i'm testing today as the Mrs is away. She was up at 4:50am this morning so will already be a bit behind with sleep so hoping by the end of the day if we put her to bed at a normal time she'll need the extra sleep.

She does have a cough and has been teething a bit which could be impacting her but she's been waking early for a while now and I'd like her to stay sleeping for just a bit longer!
 
Any dads able to chip in with potential ways/advice to shift our 9 month olds wake up times from being 5am to being 6am+?

We've tried things like trying to cap daytime sleep, letting her sleep longer, trying to put her to bed later and earlier but she just loves waking at around 5am. We cant seem to figure out what the best combo is. She doesn't cry when she wakes up but she lies there chatting and making noises and we try and just leave her for a bit to see if she goes back to sleep but she doesn't.

The only thing we haven't tried massively is trying to cap daytime sleep a bit more, which i'm testing today as the Mrs is away. She was up at 4:50am this morning so will already be a bit behind with sleep so hoping by the end of the day if we put her to bed at a normal time she'll need the extra sleep.

She does have a cough and has been teething a bit which could be impacting her but she's been waking early for a while now and I'd like her to stay sleeping for just a bit longer!
We actually increased nap times. We had read somewhere that reducing nap times actually makes them over tired resulting in putting the rest of the sleep routine out of whack. It is just trial and error until you find the sweet spot but it changes as they grow.

Also get a black out blind and slap that on the window if you don't already have one.

When our son doesn't have a nap at nursery through the day, We usually have a restless night or an early wake up. However, When we have him in a regular nap routine, We generally get a consistent peaceful night.
 
Any dads able to chip in with potential ways/advice to shift our 9 month olds wake up times from being 5am to being 6am+?

We've tried things like trying to cap daytime sleep, letting her sleep longer, trying to put her to bed later and earlier but she just loves waking at around 5am. We cant seem to figure out what the best combo is. She doesn't cry when she wakes up but she lies there chatting and making noises and we try and just leave her for a bit to see if she goes back to sleep but she doesn't.

The only thing we haven't tried massively is trying to cap daytime sleep a bit more, which i'm testing today as the Mrs is away. She was up at 4:50am this morning so will already be a bit behind with sleep so hoping by the end of the day if we put her to bed at a normal time she'll need the extra sleep.

She does have a cough and has been teething a bit which could be impacting her but she's been waking early for a while now and I'd like her to stay sleeping for just a bit longer!

Good luck.

My boy has always been an early bird, routine is key, my boy always went to bed at 7 and always woke around 5, sometimes 6. Shifting sleep times never helps, all it does is increase the child's tiredness

It's easier to change your sleep pattern, go to bed and hour earlier so you can wake up and hour earlier.

Alternatively just ignore her till your ready to wake up, it will be tough though.

Daytime naps should be reduced over time, think my boy was having 1 hour naps at 9 months

Blackout blinds will help this time of year also, we had a travel tomee tippee one worked really well with the suction cups.
 
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Not really looking for advice, more a reflective moment if you'll indulge me. My 16 year old daughter had her School Ball last night; I don't remember it being a 'thing' in the UK but it's a relatively big deal here. Everyone gets dressed up and has fun and stays up far too late and of course there's pre-Ball, the Ball itself, post-Ball and the entire thing is an event.

She and her friends had such a good time but at the pre-Ball - which the parents attend, along with their kids, this was at someone's fairly swish house - the number of parents, particularly dads, who had variations of the "how did this happen? when did they grow up?" comment was quite poignant. Lots of very proud dads and parents but also an acknowledgement that our little girls aren't so little anymore. A bittersweet evening but that's the journey, right?
 
Is the room dark? That's pretty much bang on sunrise here.
Thats what I thought but the room is completely dark. We've got one of those fitted blackout screens into the window so its as dark as anything in there. I did wonder if light was sneaking in somewhere but checked it the other morning and it is dark as dark can be in there.
We actually increased nap times. We had read somewhere that reducing nap times actually makes them over tired resulting in putting the rest of the sleep routine out of whack. It is just trial and error until you find the sweet spot but it changes as they grow.

Also get a black out blind and slap that on the window if you don't already have one.

When our son doesn't have a nap at nursery through the day, We usually have a restless night or an early wake up. However, When we have him in a regular nap routine, We generally get a consistent peaceful night.
Yeh there seems to be conflicting advice everywhere tbh, some say sleep breeds sleep and to let them sleep longer in the day, some say cap the nap to build sleep resistance.
We're using that Huckleberry app at for sleep tracking and its been mega helpful in knowing when shes ready to nap and we've never had a problem getting her to go down.
I think she may be at the age now though where we try and stick to set nap/bed times/lengths regardless of what time she wakes up.

This morning she woke up even earlier at like 4:37am - so the shortened naps of yesterday didn't really do anything, although she did sleep for longer overall actually as i put her to bed earlier. I guess the next logical step would be to keep the shorter naps and make bed time later to see if she keeps that length of total night sleep - but other than that i'm out of ideas.

The only other thought I had was if its something stupid like the birds that are waking her up as they usually all squark and scream at sunrise and it can sound quite jungly outside for want of a better word. We've got white noise in her room too at a decent level.

So many things to consider!
Good luck.

My boy has always been an early bird, routine is key, my boy always went to bed at 7 and always woke around 5, sometimes 6. Shifting sleep times never helps, all it does is increase the child's tiredness

It's easier to change your sleep pattern, go to bed and hour earlier so you can wake up and hour earlier.

Alternatively just ignore her till your ready to wake up, it will be tough though.

Daytime naps should be reduced over time, think my boy was having 1 hour naps at 9 months

Blackout blinds will help this time of year also, we had a travel tomee tippee one worked really well with the suction cups.
Yeh were in the process of naturally shortening her naps.
I can live with a 5am wake up but my wife really struggles with that early. We already generally go to bed around 8:30/9ish in light of how early we end up getting up.
We did the whole ignoring her if she wakes to get through the night wakes, but this final early morning wake is a real buzz kill. I.e. this morning i'd tried it and let her whinge for about 40 mins but she wasnt really giving up, so went in and she'd done a massive poo which was probs the issue all along.

Thanks for the advice guys. And we continue.....
 
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Not really looking for advice, more a reflective moment if you'll indulge me. My 16 year old daughter had her School Ball last night; I don't remember it being a 'thing' in the UK but it's a relatively big deal here. Everyone gets dressed up and has fun and stays up far too late and of course there's pre-Ball, the Ball itself, post-Ball and the entire thing is an event.

She and her friends had such a good time but at the pre-Ball - which the parents attend, along with their kids, this was at someone's fairly swish house - the number of parents, particularly dads, who had variations of the "how did this happen? when did they grow up?" comment was quite poignant. Lots of very proud dads and parents but also an acknowledgement that our little girls aren't so little anymore. A bittersweet evening but that's the journey, right?
We called them a "Leavers Ball" when I was at school 25+ years ago here in the UK.

I can relate to the sentiment you're expressing too. My eldest is 13 and he's already well on his way to making his own path now.
 
Anyone have any sage words of advice on how to get a teenage boy to help out around the house a bit more?

We've tried controlling his computer/phone time based on the jobs he does, tried pocket money based on the jobs he does, but most of the time he's content just to chill in his room reading, doing arty stuff, playing with Lego, watching TV etc. (which I guess I can't complain about too much - at least he's not out on the streets getting into trouble)

He's got a ski trip with school next year, which isn't cheap and was agreed on the proviso he'd do jobs around the house to help out... Which also hasn't materialised! I'm somewhat loathe to say he's not going now as we've already paid several hundred for the deposit, but he certainly won't be going on any more trips!

Short of turning his room into a cell where he has literally nothing better to do, or standing over him while he does it (which somewhat defeats the purpose of giving us a break/time to do other jobs), we've pretty much given up - it's usually easier to do the job ourselves than have a half hour argument with him about doing it, followed by him begrudgingly doing the worst job possible and being in a foul mood for the rest of the day.


Yes I know teenagers are supposed to be like this.

His school work is great, and otherwise we have no complaints about his behaviour, but we feel he's easily old enough to help out a bit more.
 
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Not really looking for advice, more a reflective moment if you'll indulge me. My 16 year old daughter had her School Ball last night; I don't remember it being a 'thing' in the UK but it's a relatively big deal here. Everyone gets dressed up and has fun and stays up far too late and of course there's pre-Ball, the Ball itself, post-Ball and the entire thing is an event.

She and her friends had such a good time but at the pre-Ball - which the parents attend, along with their kids, this was at someone's fairly swish house - the number of parents, particularly dads, who had variations of the "how did this happen? when did they grow up?" comment was quite poignant. Lots of very proud dads and parents but also an acknowledgement that our little girls aren't so little anymore. A bittersweet evening but that's the journey, right?
Aye that's it, if you've done your job right, they don't need you anymore and are independent and confident people. As someone who took a long and fraught journey through young adulthood, we all come back around eventually if you stick around long enough.
 
Chaps - people who have experienced and made it to the other side of the dreaded ‘terrible 2’s’ - what were you signs of it settling/improving?

It’s been 6 months, and slowly it grinds a person down! 95% of the time it’s a constant battle

Our youngest is 9 month now, by the time our 2.5year old comes out of it, the youngest will just about to be entering it
 
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Chaps - people who have experienced and made it to the other side of the dreaded ‘terrible 2’s’ - what were you signs of it settling/improving?

It’s been 6 months, and slowly it grinds a person down! 95% of the time it’s a constant battle

Our youngest is 9 month now, by the time our 2.5year old comes out of it, the youngest will just about to be entering it
Consistency is key!

My daughter was awful (now 5) but had to just keep being consistent with her. She is FAR better now (unless hungry or tired, but so am I at 40yrs old lol )

You will see them start to calm down more, my daughter was like it until well into her 3's. She calmed down when approaching 4.
 
Thanks Camelot, so there is hope. We’re doing our best to stick to a typical routine, although our Cornwall trip a couple of weeks ago really threw her off sleep wise.

One day at a time…..
 
Thanks Camelot, so there is hope. We’re doing our best to stick to a typical routine, although our Cornwall trip a couple of weeks ago really threw her off sleep wise.

One day at a time…..
You will get through, we all do! Routine and being consistent and you will get there.

It's really hard, I know. I thought I was a very tough and resilient guy, but my god I have been pushed way beyond that barrier and then some!
 
You will get through, we all do! Routine and being consistent and you will get there.

It's really hard, I know. I thought I was a very tough and resilient guy, but my god I have been pushed way beyond that barrier and then some!
Absolutely agree - I learnt very quickly that patience is the key component in all this, but at times it can wear a bit thin!
 
Anyone have any sage words of advice on how to get a teenage boy to help out around the house a bit more?

Yes I know teenagers are supposed to be like this.

His school work is great, and otherwise we have no complaints about his behaviour, but we feel he's easily old enough to help out a bit more.

I'm thinking count the blessings that you've outlined. Our son is exactly the same. He will do as we ask, but it's always a struggle.
 
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