If he did a day’s work and thought he was getting paid for it… meh, pay him? It’s not like the ‘friend’ hasn’t put himself out and not done the work at all.
Looking for advice...
- Thread starter Shep_Cobain
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If he did a day’s work and thought he was getting paid for it… meh, pay him? It’s not like the ‘friend’ hasn’t put himself out and not done the work at all.
Associate
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Yes, that's a threat, call the police right now. Say you believe he's threatened you and tried to extort you and has been harassing you for weeks. He's also realised he isn't getting the money and decided to deliberately try and ruin your Christmas with a threat. The bar for arrest for harrassment is 2 unwanted contacts. He's gone way beyond that, at least in these 2 messages. If the police have a word now, he won't dare escalate. Personally I'd want to go around round his house and knock 7 lumps out of him but I'm an idiot. So don't do that.
There's also practicalities though - is the amount worth the general stress all of this is causing? Seems a lot simpler and easier to pay the money and be done with the friendship rather than getting into responding to messages and now potentially dealing with police etc. over it - at least it would to me. I'd rather get rid of the stress of another message and more calls etc.
Soldato
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You don't know if his blackmailing would end there.
You don't solve being bullied by giving into the bully.
aye you're right. the more i think about it this really is just a '**** off' and move on conversation and should have been from the outset.
Yeah, that's fair - I'm basing it solely on the fact that he's asking for the money because he did some work - he isn't asking for it in return for not saying something for instance where there's no clear end to it. This sounds like it was for a specific task and doing it would end it.
Similar to the above, it sounded to me like it's because of a specific task that he's looking to get 'paid' for. If this was a general "Pay me or I keep bothering you" without anything behind it whatsoever, then I'd agree with you both that there's no way of knowing that it would actually end it. It sounded from the thread that it would end it to me - but I could be wrong.
Soldato
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Now you see, that is the exact point where i'd go around his place and ask him to explain exactly what he means to my face.
Yea but, look it from the other perspective. Rightly or wrongly this guy feels like he's been stitched up, you could quite easily flip that around and say don't give in.
It's clearly not about the money now - the guy even said that. It's about his former friend exerting control over him and their friendship. Even without that, you can't force someone to do something they don't want to do.
For me personally I have enough stress in my life and I'm busy all the time. To have the additional concern of protecting my house/family... I just don't need that. It's partially why I pay my TV licence as well. I know I could fight it and not pay, but I don't want someone turning up and talking their way into the house with one of my kids/wife. If I get an ebay/facebook scammer I behave differently if they have my address. Whilst it may all be talk, I couldn't live with myself over £120 when I can just pay that to make it go away and enjoy xmas. There's nothing wrong with dealing with things that way even if it doesn't tick the OCUK alpha box.
The problem with this guy is he's an ex friend and was close. Crazy, motivated people like that, have your friends and family close as well and can wreak havoc.
Why not consider paying him quietly, bite your tongue and move on. Just send the money electronically then block him?
The problem with this guy is he's an ex friend and was close. Crazy, motivated people like that, have your friends and family close as well and can wreak havoc.
Why not consider paying him quietly, bite your tongue and move on. Just send the money electronically then block him?
Soldato
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You don't don't watch live broadcast, raidio, or catch up TV, or the other specifics on requiring a License, why do you pay TV License?
From his perspective, being 'more than just about money' may just be about the principle of being paid what he thinks he has owed and now being dodged. It doesn't necessarily mean 'violent vengeance' is incoming, though I would expect a confrontation.
Needing to 'be right' is always such a downfall in relationships, friendships and with colleagues. You can be 100% right in a situation but sticking to that can lead to an imperfect or even 'bad' outcome.
Dodging the calls and then refusing to engage has evidently caused further annoyance and 'made it worse'. The whole thing has an air of being avoidable.
Yea I agree now.
I still stand by what I said at the start, and I still think for the sake of £120 it would have been worth it. I agree its gone beyond that now.
Not now. As others have said, OP should ring the non emergency number and get this logged. It’ll take a big weight off your mind if you do.
Soldato
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