But sure, go ahead and blame the woman here, it is clearly all her fault!
Cake and eat it springs to mind. OP sends out all the signals he is committed - buys a house using a large sum of his money, even buys her an engagement ring! Then he turns around and says he does not want to get married? Talk about mixed messages.
If the OP is so intent on holding on to his money, my advice would be to avoid serious relationships full stop. Otherwise accept that he will have to put his money at risk - that is life. Unless, of course, he finds a woman to live with who also has £70k that she is clutching to for dear life, and also does not want to get married
What the OP is saying is "I want the home, I want the girlfriend to live with and I want everything that is mine to remain mine forever".
Well life does not work like that. A relationship is an investment. Sometimes it works, sometimes it does not. It is a chance you take.
The OP says he loves this woman, but it does not sound like it to me. I think he loves the idea of love and he wants what love brings, but the reality is he is in love with his bank account, and any woman in his life will have to play second fiddle. Good luck with that!
Perhaps the OP should find a woman in the same position so he can feel safe?
If his money is so important, the question must be why on earth did he get together with someone who had nothing in the first place? If he knows how he feels, surely he could have easily predicted that there would be problems?
Seems to me like everything was OK so long as the relationship was on
his terms. So maybe he needs to find a woman who is as happy with his terms as he is?
Such a shame that there are those with such a bitter outlook. All life is a gamble, and relationships are not exempt. Some you win, some you lose. You sound like you lost once. To become so jaded as to obsess about 'yo monaayyy' to the exclusion of all else = more unhappyness. In effect you lose, full stop.
No man or woman who cares enough about themselves will ever be superseded by their partners money in a relationship. I know I would be out the door before being put second place to a bank account.
I wonder how many of those with such an embittered outlook actually sought a partner on equal footing to start with? You know, considering how important money is to them and all.
Let me guess - it is your way or the highway, right? That is your prerogitive, of course, but I guess it is one of the reasons why some people just dont have any 'luck' when it comes to relationships.
Yes of course because it would never ever be him that decides he does not want her anymore, or him that has an affair would it? It's always those pesky gold digging women that sleep around and jump ship and steal all of the money.
The OP is letting this £70K rule his life. It is a cloud over him and he appears to obsess about losing it. It's just money. You can't spend it when your dead, and when you are alive you can always earn more.
I would be interested to know where this £70k came from? If he was cleared out in 2008 but 5 years later has £70k, either he is a high earner or has some inheritence? If he has saved it, that equates to £1100 per month into savings for 5 years straight! Not many people can afford that!
He is also, I believe, making ultimatums of his own. Six of one, and all of that. But yes, lets paint the woman as the fiery, killer she devil
Good for you. That you would wave goodbye to your wife in the space of 10 minutes says a lot about your relationship.
