1 Big problem in relationship

Burnsy2023 said:
You do realize this isn't the 19th century any more right? Sexist views like that aren't a reflection on modern society.
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There is absolutely nothing sexist in what he said. Not a jot. If you believe otherwise, go ahead and provide a cogent argument to explain why it's sexist.

Now, his statement may be out of touch with 21st century where women can go out and make a living for themselves and are less dependent on a partner for support. But most women would still prefer to have a partner as their combined incomes can provide better economic outcomes for their children. So the outcome is the same.

Marriage is a legal, economic and emotional bond. It is just as valid today as it was 100 years ago. What has changed is that people have no sense of dignity and honour any more, they are all living for their own selfish needs and desires.
 
Malc said:
I can understand that logic and agree. I'm not sure how healthy it is though. Fundamentally, a women's dream can only be achieved through a man (in most cases).

I have friends who have gotten married (I went to 6 weddings last year and have 3 this year!) and I can completely understand the sense of fulfilment and happiness they get from it. I enjoy a good wedding.
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I was not making a comment on whether it is healthy or not, just that it is a truth. Of course, many other women are not bothered about marriage at all.

I guess it just depends on who meets who, but fundamentally I believe honesty has to be the best policy.
 
Thompson_NCL said:
There is absolutely nothing sexist in what he said. Not a jot. If you believe otherwise, go ahead and provide a cogent argument to explain why it's sexist.

Now, his statement may be out of touch with 21st century where women can go out and make a living for themselves and are less dependent on a partner for support. But most women would still prefer to have a partner as their combined incomes can provide better economic outcomes for their children. So the outcome is the same.

Marriage is a legal, economic and emotional bond. It is just as valid today as it was 100 years ago. What has changed is that people have no sense of dignity and honour any more, they are all living for their own selfish needs and desires.
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Exactly well said.....I was refering to women that like the support and security of marriage from men.

I know women can and do support themselves in modern society....many do so better than a lot of men.

But still having a partner in marriage, especially if you want children together gives them security moving forwards.
 
Thompson_NCL said:
There is absolutely nothing sexist in what he said. Not a jot. If you believe otherwise, go ahead and provide a cogent argument to explain why it's sexist.
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Here we go:
"Women want security" assumes all women to fit the stereotypical model of wanting to be looked after. This is sexist because it assumes behavior based on sex.

they want to have that status of marriage that gives them a sense of security that they are being looked after.assumes all women to fit the stereotypical model of wanting to be looked after. This is sexist because it assumes behavior based on sex.

When a woman spends a large majority of her adult life looking after her partners kids, while he goes out and earns and provides, they want that security that if it all goes **** up they will have something to survive on. a man in that childcare position would surely want the same security? This is sexist because there is no reason to assume it is a distinctly female trait - yet he does make that assumption

Unfortunetely too many abuse that system....get married and try to take their partner for whatever they canAssumes that grabbing all the assets is a distinctly female trait. This is sexist because anyone with experience in such matter knows its definitely not.

many men resent marriageThis is sexist because it specifies an attitude based on sex.

etc...
 
cheesyboy said:
Here we go:
"Women want security" assumes all women to fit the stereotypical model of wanting to be looked after. This is sexist because it assumes behavior based on sex.

they want to have that status of marriage that gives them a sense of security that they are being looked after.assumes all women to fit the stereotypical model of wanting to be looked after. This is sexist because it assumes behavior based on sex.

When a woman spends a large majority of her adult life looking after her partners kids, while he goes out and earns and provides, they want that security that if it all goes **** up they will have something to survive on. a man in that childcare position would surely want the same security? This is sexist because there is no reason to assume it is a distinctly female trait - yet he does make that assumption

Unfortunetely too many abuse that system....get married and try to take their partner for whatever they canAssumes that grabbing all the assets is a distinctly female trait. This is sexist because anyone with experience in such matter knows its definitely not.

many men resent marriageThis is sexist because it specifies an attitude based on sex.

etc...
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Is it "sexist" to assume that women are more likely to have a preferential attitude towards wearing a dress than a man?

If your answer to this question is 'Yes' then it should become self-evident that the modern usage of the term 'sexist' has no value whatsoever. We all know this to be a valid observation.

If your answer to this question is 'No' then your argument lacks consistency. Clothing is after all the cornerstone of ones "gender identity" within society.
 
Sexism: Prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, typically against women, on the basis of sex

It's demonstrably correct to say that, as a population, women are more likely to have a preferential attitude towards wearing a dress than a man, but it's inherent sexism in society which trains girls form birth that they should dress in pretty frilly things.

It's also sexist to assume that an individual woman would necessarily have a preferential attitude towards wearing a dress, by simply reasoning that she is a woman and therefore she will.
 
I can see where you are comming from. Divorce law is stupid. Tell her you will marry her if she gives you 70 grand.

I would only enter a relationship with a woman if she had a similar amount of wealth.
 
Just wanted to agree with the people saying be cautious.

The only person you can ever really trust is yourself. We are (with few exceptions) innately selfish beings, and will justify screwing someone else over if it benefits ourselves.

To have such an unequal partnership would be a massive risk.
 
4T5 said:
I love all these Atheists defending Marriage. :D
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What on earth are you on about? My marriage had absolutely no religious connection or connotation whatsoever. Marriage is about the love between my wife and I, nothing else.

There is plenty to be cynical about in the world but some some things are worth committing to. A life of cynicism will give you a life without achievements.
 
Thompson_NCL said:
Marriage is a legal, economic and emotional bond.
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francky said:
But still having a partner in marriage, especially if you want children together gives them security moving forwards.
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Do you fancy explaining what exactly being married gives over being in an otherwise identical relationship? (Other than the obvious piece of paper saying you're married).
 
BuffetSlayer said:
So many women do not want a fairytale wedding and 'their day' as a princess? :confused:
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Some women do, some don't. You stereotyped women.


So, men are not generally more laid back when it comes to marriage? How many men do you know that have planned their actual wedding in every detail??? I rest my case :p
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I shared the planning of ours equally (I wanted a bigger steam train but budgets and all that :D ) but overall I should expect men to take interest in their own wedding.

Don't be led by yet more stereotyping by program's such as Don't Tell The Bride.
 
LordSplodge said:
Some women do, some don't. You stereotyped women.
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I said many women, not all, which I believe is true and not at all stereotyping. I also qualified my standpoint in a later post by saying many women are also not that bothered by marriage :)


LordSplodge said:
I shared the planning of ours equally (I wanted a bigger steam train but budgets and all that :D ) but overall I should expect men to take interest in their own wedding.

Don't be led by yet more stereotyping by program's such as Don't Tell The Bride.
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None of the men I know, including myself had anything but a cursory involvement in the wedding plans!! :eek:

Perhaps I am the odd one out? :p
 
cheesyboy said:
Sexism: Prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, typically against women, on the basis of sex
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Sexism is a fairly modern concept and as such the definition is in a state of flux. The writers of the dictionary are not absolute arbiters of the English language and react to popular sentiment rather than any absolute definition. Therefore a dictionary definition has no place in a debate where the very idea itself is being debated.

It's demonstrably correct to say that, as a population, women are more likely to have a preferential attitude towards wearing a dress than a man, but it's inherent sexism in society which trains girls form birth that they should dress in pretty frilly things.
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And studies have shown that as a population, women are more inclined to seek security within a relationship. So his statement would be demonstrably true.

Furthermore, the poster was speaking anecdotally about women as a population group, rather than saying a specific woman would act in a specific manner by virtue of being a woman.

It's also sexist to assume that an individual woman would necessarily have a preferential attitude towards wearing a dress, by simply reasoning that she is a woman and therefore she will.
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If we know that women on the whole are more inclined to wear a dress than men, I wouldn't say it was sexist for a man to be of the opinion that a random woman on the street might have a preferential attitude towards dresses.
 
Oh man, this is a tough one

i can see where you are coming from and tbh i would probably be the same,

dont think it was a good idea to give her a ring, that just gives hope (you know if its false hope)
she shouldnt have gone in after you told her you will never get married especially if she always wanted too, she must have thought she could change your mind or didnt think it would get serious
i think the last update where you said YES but NO to future marriage is a bit harsh, you may not genuinely know but she def has hope now.
 
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