And what message is she sending to him? I know you don't want to do it but I want my superficial ceremony and a gold ring which grants me 50% of your stuff. Give it to me or I'm leaving this relationship we've built up.
So she's ready to chuck whatever they have down the toilet because she can't get to play princess for a day and wear a gold ring.
Well we dont know who split with who do we? My guess is that it was a mutual parting. But that is besides the point - there are two people with strong feelings in the opposite camps of the same subject. She wants, he does not.
But sure, go ahead and blame the woman here, it is clearly all her fault!
He's basically saying "I've been through this once before and come out very badly. I'm not going to make the same mistake again."
Cake and eat it springs to mind. OP sends out all the signals he is committed - buys a house using a large sum of his money, even buys her an engagement ring! Then he turns around and says he does not want to get married? Talk about mixed messages.
Why didnt they just rent? Or buy a home on equal footing?
If the OP is so intent on holding on to his money, my advice would be to avoid serious relationships full stop. Otherwise accept that he will have to put his money at risk - that is life. Unless, of course, he finds a woman to live with who also has £70k that she is clutching to for dear life, and also does not want to get married
What the OP is saying is "I want the home, I want the girlfriend to live with and I want everything that is mine to remain mine forever".
Well life does not work like that. A relationship is an investment. Sometimes it works, sometimes it does not. It is a chance you take.
The OP says he loves this woman, but it does not sound like it to me. I think he loves the idea of love and he wants what love brings, but the reality is he is in love with his bank account, and any woman in his life will have to play second fiddle. Good luck with that!
Perhaps the OP should find a woman in the same position so he can feel safe?
If his money is so important, the question must be why on earth did he get together with someone who had nothing in the first place? If he knows how he feels, surely he could have easily predicted that there would be problems?
Seems to me like everything was OK so long as the relationship was on
his terms. So maybe he needs to find a woman who is as happy with his terms as he is?
Such a shame that there are those with such a bitter outlook. All life is a gamble, and relationships are not exempt. Some you win, some you lose. You sound like you lost once. To become so jaded as to obsess about 'yo monaayyy' to the exclusion of all else = more unhappyness. In effect you lose, full stop.
No man or woman who cares enough about themselves will ever be superseded by their partners money in a relationship. I know I would be out the door before being put second place to a bank account.
I wonder how many of those with such an embittered outlook actually sought a partner on equal footing to start with? You know, considering how important money is to them and all.
Let me guess - it is your way or the highway, right? That is your prerogitive, of course, but I guess it is one of the reasons why some people just dont have any 'luck' when it comes to relationships.
He probably bought the house because he loves her and wants to be with her, but doesn't want to have it taken away from him should she decide that one day when he doesn't jump at her request that it's time for her to leave and take it with her, maybe?
It's easy for a person to make demands when they have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Yes of course because it would never ever be him that decides he does not want her anymore, or him that has an affair would it? It's always those pesky gold digging women that sleep around and jump ship and steal all of the money.
The OP is letting this £70K rule his life. It is a cloud over him and he appears to obsess about losing it. It's just money. You can't spend it when your dead, and when you are alive you can always earn more.
I would be interested to know where this £70k came from? If he was cleared out in 2008 but 5 years later has £70k, either he is a high earner or has some inheritence? If he has saved it, that equates to £1100 per month into savings for 5 years straight! Not many people can afford that!
Yeah I agree. A bit spineless being so sure you don't want marriage and then saying "well maybe?" because she gives you an ultimatum. Is this the type of relationship anyone would want though? What happens once they're married, will she continue to make ultimatums with threats to leave each time it doesn't go her way? Then she'll really have him over a barrel and it'll be too late.
He is also, I believe, making ultimatums of his own. Six of one, and all of that. But yes, lets paint the woman as the fiery, killer she devil
I once had an ultimatum off my ex wife. I helped her pack and she was gone within 10 minutes.
Good for you. That you would wave goodbye to your wife in the space of 10 minutes says a lot about your relationship.
