1 Big problem in relationship

I've not read any of the thread, mainly because I know what GD is like with stuff like this.

It's only money, you can't take it with you and you shouldn't go into a relationship already thinking about it failing. She wants to spend her life with you, if you love her, then nut sacks to the house. If you need a pre nup then go for it.

I've always said that if my marriage failed, and we've had rocky times in the 17 years we've been together (married for 5) I'd just walk away. People are far too attached to personal possessions, and yes, while it's nice to have them all i think it's much nicer to have the relationships, experiences and memories :)
 
D.P. said:
If she is name on the mortgage or house title then she has half of all debts and assets anyway, regardless of marriage!
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Mortgage does not give title.
If her name is on the mortgage alone does not mean she owns any part of the house

Deeds give title.

Mortgage doesn't
 
AHarvey said:
I've always said that if my marriage failed, and we've had rocky times in the 17 years we've been together (married for 5) I'd just walk away. People are far too attached to personal possessions, and yes, while it's nice to have them all i think it's much nicer to have the relationships, experiences and memories :)
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I dunno, I kind of like my house and all the work that has gone in to it so walking away from than wouldn't be easy.

AndyCroft1982 said:
62% of all women are gold diggers
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^ Citation required.
 
hurfdurf said:
lol at beta boys moving in with girls and getting engaged then being nagged to get married after trying to say it would never happen.

First mistake was allowing her to move into the house and not pay you rent, but instead putting her name on it, awful move. Second was agreeing to get her a ring of any kind. Your on the back foot, time to grow a back bone, stand up for yourself, and tell her your drawing a line, and that if she nags you any more you are throwing her out.
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Expertly done :D

You could actually drop this into that forum and they'd unironically rep you.

e: ^ it's a carry over from another thread :)
 
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[FnG]magnolia;26002521 said:
Expertly done :D

You could actually drop this into that forum and they'd unironically rep you.

e: ^ it's a carry over from another thread :)
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I didn't know there was required reading in order to get/like hurf.....fill me in.
 
It's only money, you can't take it with you
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but you can leave it to your kids who will leave their wealth to their kids.

help your family climb the ladder and get a better start in life with a good education and prospects.

I'd rather leave all my money to my sisters kids than marry someone with no money , no assets , lives with their mum , seemingly has always lived with their mum but wants to marry a 44 year old bloke with 70k.
how mature can this woman be? from her actions I would say not very...

anyone who fathered my kids would see themselves looked after whether we were married or not but don't expect a free pass to the cleaners


potential gold digger? quite possibly?
op never said what the age gap is but we can likely assume it's not small giving that this woman lived with her mum before she met the op and went back to live with her after she has a tantrum aww diddums I think she threw her dummy away.

you can show commitment without a piece of paper and the op did show commitment by them getting a house together what more could he have possibly done to show her he is serious?
 
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I really don't understand why assets owned before the marriage are taken into account in a divorce at all?

Can anyone shed some light on this?
 
The sooner pre-nups are a)legally binding and b)accepted by all (women) as a cautionary necessity and not a sign of 'not loving you enough' or whatever BS they come up with on Munsnet, the better.
 
This is my opinion. I am not in your position, never been in your position or anything like this, I also don’t really like the hole marriage thing anyway) and it’s stuck in my box of “I don’t care about these things” with religion and things happening in other countries that don’t directly affect the country I live in or me. Anyway….

I would get rid. You have told her many times you’re not interested in marriage. She has known this (from your story) right from the set off. You cannot after 3 years say “o I lied it’s the most important thing ever to me, ever!!!! It’s more important to me than you and your happiness”. “I would rather see you unhappy for the rest of our time on this earth, for one random day a piece of paper and a ring. Yep she is a keeper. If you are 100% mind set on no marriage again you should have never even got engaged.

Also even if you did at some point want to get married again (too her or any one else) why are you super rushing into it again. You said 2011when you met her… that’s 3 years ago. In my mind that’s a very short amount of time to say yer I love her and would like all that is mine to be hers (which is what marriage is in 2014) and stay with her forever) or until you get divorced again. You have already had 1 failed marriage why are you even thinking about rushing into another. I have had Hobbes and very good friends longer than 3 years and then one day been like. no i don't like that any more/never ever seeing what was my BFF's ever agane and never looking back.
 
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Haggisman said:
I really don't understand why assets owned before the marriage are taken into account in a divorce at all?

Can anyone shed some light on this?
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Two reasons, neither of which should exist today:

1) Under Norman law, married people owned only minor personal possessions. The marriage itself was a legal entity and took ownership of all assets of both spouses before and during marriage. This remained true until 1870 and 1881, when the Married Women's Property Acts gave married women (and only women) sole ownership of assets acquired during (1870) and before (1881) marriage. The husbands assets remained wholly owned by the marriage. I'm not sure if that was ever formally repealed. "What's mine is mine and what's his is ours" was an accurate description of the law from a married woman's point of view.

2) Under Norman law and known earlier law after Roman law, a husband had a legal duty to financially support his wife for life.

Divorce was a later add-on to those laws, so it's still based on them.
 
• There were 13 divorces an hour in England and Wales in 2012
• Women were granted 65% of all divorces
• 9,703 men and 6,026 women aged over 60 got divorced
• One in seven divorces were granted as a result of adultery
• 719 (less than 1%) divorces were granted because of desertion
• The average age at divorce was 45 for men and 42 for women
• 9% of couples divorcing had both been divorced before
• 48% of couples divorcing had at least one child aged under 16 living with the family
• It is expected that 42% of marriages will end in divorce

When you start looking at the figures the odds of the marriage ending in a divorce are high. If you do get married and it does end then all of her mates will be saying take him for every penny you can. No doubt she will also read Netmums and they will all be telling her to take you for every penny.
 
Spong92 said:
Just to clarify for some people, there is no such thing as common law marriage in this country. The only way a partner has rights to the house outside marriage is if their name is on the deeds or if they can show they've made direct mortgage repayments.
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This isn't strictly true either. If she can prove she has contributed to your shared life style whether that be through mortgage or other bills then you are likely to find that she is able to claim something. A friend of mine is still being dragged through the courts over a house on which his ex had no written claim so it can happen.
 
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