2 Jokes

Rotty said:
These two blokes are lost in the Sahara desert. They're desperate for water, but just as they think they're about to die, they chance upon a village where market day is in full swing.

They go to the first stall they see and ask if they can buy some water.

"No," replies the Bedouin stall owner, "I only sell fruit, Fruit is all I sell

So off they go to the next stall and again they ask for water.

"Sorry," says the merchant, "But I only sell custard."

"Custard?" one of the blokes says to the other, "What kind of place is this?"

By now desperate, they go to the next stall, only to be told, "Sorry, but I only sell jelly."

They decide to give up and move on, one turns to the other and says "wasn"t that extremely odd?" his friend turns to him and replies "yes it was a trifle bazaar"
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Damn you Rotty, if you hadn't made the punchline so obvious we could have spent all day explaining that to people who didn't understand ;)
 
A little rabbit is happily running through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at her and says, "Giraffe, my friend, Think about what you're doing to yourself! Come with me running through the forest, you'll see, you'll feel so much better!"

The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit.

Then they come across an elephant doing coke. So the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about what you're doing to yourself! Come running with us through the pretty forest, you'll see, you'll feel so good!"

The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and all, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe.

The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up.
"Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about what you're doing to yourself! Come running with us through the sunny forest, you will feel so good!"

The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and starts to beat the crap out of the little rabbit. The giraffe and elephant watch in horror, then finally obtain the presence of mind to pull the lion off the rabbit.

"Lion," they reprimand, "why did you do this? He was merely trying to help us all!"

The lion answers, "That little **** has me running around the forest like an idiot for hours every time he's on ecstasy!"
 
Six6siX said:
LOL she thinks she's going on holiday but he's actually telling her to get lost! :D
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LOL LMFAO ROTFLMAO -O- -M- -G- it hurts thats the funniest thing iv read all year, and DAMN YOU im typing this peering through crunchy nut cornflakes that are now slowly sliding down the screen on my £500 dell monitor ! :eek: :D
 
hardc0re_tid said:
i didnt get the isrish one or rotty's? care to elaborate

dont get the rabbit one either :confused:
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I got the others, maybe your irish too? :p Didn't really get rotty's either or maybe just thought the joke was crap :p
 
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