I'm not sure how people can say this, unless you don't really care about your parents and you're happy for your own father to cheat.
A bit of a problem, not sure what to do?
- Thread starter FeFiDoh
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I'm not sure how people can say this, unless you don't really care about your parents and you're happy for your own father to cheat.
Associate
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It's ultimately his fathers decision, is he not entitled to privacy?
I don't think its over from what I have seen he is happy says he has no intention of moving up North, its like 300 miles from us now. He has a good job here they have had some really crap patches but things last few months have been good and should be for the foreseeable future.
She is being made redundant has 3 kids and he would have no work and no money so it would be insane to move on.
I think she is kinda the one that got away in some sense so maybe he is just enjoying the flirting reminds him of his youth trouble is don't know how far it will go. Been married 21 years so I would like to think that after all the crap they have been through and survived this is nothing.
She is being made redundant has 3 kids and he would have no work and no money so it would be insane to move on.
I think she is kinda the one that got away in some sense so maybe he is just enjoying the flirting reminds him of his youth trouble is don't know how far it will go. Been married 21 years so I would like to think that after all the crap they have been through and survived this is nothing.
Soldato
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Oh so that makes it all OK then? *buzz* Wrong.
Of course people care but there is a danger of making a move before proper facts have been established rather than emotionally-laden conjecture.
Tough call either way.
When he's doing something like that, no.
No but it makes it more understandable if he's worried, whether it was the best course of action is debatable.
Chances are both his parents are aware of each's others behaviour, I know mine were. They may be staying together for reasons unbeknown to you, I know mine. If they are happy to continue to do so then why shouldn't they be allowed to do so? Anyway you're jumping to conclusions it could be totally harmless. The most I'd do is politely, but non-invasivly bring it up with my father.
Putting a keylogger on his computer and snooping in his private accounts is totally out of order.
Associate
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Doing what exactly? Sending messages to an old flame from the past he wants to catch up with? Good god, if that's the case I don't think many people here are entitled to much privacy!
Catch up messages =/= flirting and going out for 'meals' on the sly?
I'm not sure what kind of family you're from.
Soldato
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Exactly, there isn't any real proof anything is actually going off. It's just speculation. If that means his privacy can be breached by going as far as using a key-logger and falsely accessing his Facebook account then we're all doomed.
I understand this may not be the best position for the OP to be in, especially if something is going off but his actions aren't justifiable IMHO.
How about e-mailing the other woman and telling her to break ALL contact with your dad. Be honest and tell her you don't know exactly what's going on, but even "harmless" flirting is bang out of order. If she has an ounce of decency in her she will do as you ask.
Ok so remove the keylogger from the equation. The password was obvious it was one I had used for them before, I got it wrong once as I missed the digit off the end but I knew what it was.
If I had seen this information without the use of a keylogger or had just happened to load Opera and it was his last tab and I see it, does this change the facts still?
If I had seen this information without the use of a keylogger or had just happened to load Opera and it was his last tab and I see it, does this change the facts still?
Associate
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Going out for a meal != cheating, flirting != cheating. Have you never flirted with a woman while you were in a relationship?
Lay off the personal (family) insults.
Doesn't change a thing, you have a bit of out of context information you're extrapolating into something crazy in your head.
How is harmless flirting out of order? Most people I know flirt in one way or another almost daily. Why should she break all contact with his dad? Is his dad not allowed to have female friends or something? You sound like great boyfriend/husband material!
Come on, I'm sure the OP wouldn't be posting if it was completely harmless "catching up" talk.......what about the text his sister got?
Even if it is just flirting I think it's out of line anyway.
Have thought about this before what I would do. Maybe your mum knows but what if she doesn't and then it comes up at a later date, then she hears that you have known all along? I feel stressed just thinking about the situation...
Whatever you do, it's not your fault in any way. Might be obvious but kids always blame themselves to some extent, no matter the age.
Have thought about this before what I would do. Maybe your mum knows but what if she doesn't and then it comes up at a later date, then she hears that you have known all along? I feel stressed just thinking about the situation...
Whatever you do, it's not your fault in any way. Might be obvious but kids always blame themselves to some extent, no matter the age.
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Jeremy Kyle is who you need for this..
How is harmless flirting out of order? Most people I know flirt in one way or another almost daily. Why should she break all contact with his dad? Is his dad not allowed to have female friends or something? You sound like great boyfriend/husband material!
I AM a husband. I have female friends. However, I don't go texting them about "dumping me" or whatever that text said.
EDIT: The text said "dumped me before we even started"......yeah, that's nothing to worry about then (insert huge rolleyes)
No, I haven't. Also, I didn't insult you or your family.
I think you need to read over the thread again, it's quite obvious what is going on here and the information has been obtained now, so whether it was right or wrong doesn't matter any longer. What does matter is what he does from now on, and 'forgetting it' isn't possible before you suggest that.
Associate
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You're assuming that was aimed at the old flame, it could even have been intended for his wife (who's to say they're not 'split' but staying together in a united front for their children?).
You're jumping to conclusions.
O and something else...
In some of the messages he said he was going to call her in the afternoon on 1 or two days. From the sounds of it he was on the phone for quite some time as one of her kids had said "o I bet you are going to be on the phone for ages again now".
This was middle of the afternoon, his phonebill came in the other day and he was really high. My mum said about it and said it was lucky as work were going to pay for it.
In some of the messages he said he was going to call her in the afternoon on 1 or two days. From the sounds of it he was on the phone for quite some time as one of her kids had said "o I bet you are going to be on the phone for ages again now".
This was middle of the afternoon, his phonebill came in the other day and he was really high. My mum said about it and said it was lucky as work were going to pay for it.