Associate
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- 28 Jan 2005
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- 1,124
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A bit of a problem, not sure what to do?
- Thread starter FeFiDoh
- Start date
Personally I dont feel anything you have done to gleen this info can be deemed the wrong thing to do. You are clearly concerned for your mum and your parents as a unit. Should their relationship fail, it impacts on both you and your sister so I can understand why this may provoke extreme measures on your part. Obviously I wouldnt condone this sort of 'investigation' into just anyone's private goings on. As for confronting him, its a very difficult one to call, and is not a position I would want to be in. Unfortunately it may be something that you cannot stop in its tracks, so any confrontation may just threaten your relationship with your Dad in the future. Personally, I would let events take their course and try and remain impartial and supportive to both parents. Sadly, life doesnt always go to plan.
Soldato
- Joined
- 18 Mar 2010
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- 4,190
I don't think you are in the wrong here. You should deffinately say something to your dad before he sets off on his trip - it will be a passion killer and hopefully it will nip thongs in the bud before he ruins your family.
Keep it simple mention text + photos + strange trip -"what are you up to"?
Maybe mention you have seen his Facebook account, obviously don't explain how.
Don't start a debate, where he can ask you questions, walk away after you confront him.
Keep it simple mention text + photos + strange trip -"what are you up to"?
Maybe mention you have seen his Facebook account, obviously don't explain how.
Don't start a debate, where he can ask you questions, walk away after you confront him.
He has already left he went this morning. Text my mum earlier to say signal was rubbish will try and call later :/ Not heard from him since.
I wouldn't really say I am that close to him either but then again I'm not to anyone really not a reflection on him.
I keep myself to myself so bringing this up would be so difficult.
I did ask my mum where is he staying etc.. who is he seeing and she doesn't really know that much about it all. I feel kinda crap about it because she was saying about the money he took and he will probably be drunk by now and I am thinking "or is he really?"
**** situation I hate it
I wouldn't really say I am that close to him either but then again I'm not to anyone really not a reflection on him.
I keep myself to myself so bringing this up would be so difficult.
I did ask my mum where is he staying etc.. who is he seeing and she doesn't really know that much about it all. I feel kinda crap about it because she was saying about the money he took and he will probably be drunk by now and I am thinking "or is he really?"
**** situation I hate it
Soldato
- Joined
- 22 Feb 2008
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- 11,114
Tell him you will only approve of his affair once you've sampled the goods yourself.
That'll knock him for six!
That'll knock him for six!
![[FnG]magnolia](/styles/overclockers/avatars/9.png){kind=avatar}
Caporegime
- Joined
- 29 Aug 2007
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- Auckland
Why do goons have to make things so complicated? "Dad, is there anything you want to talk to me about? Is everything ok?"
He will either tell you or not. If not, leave it.
He will either tell you or not. If not, leave it.
My 2p's worth, having been through all this **** in the past ...
Both myself and my sister found out our mother was seeing another guy independently, and for some reason didn't tell each other about it. My sister saw a text on her phone when it beeped in her handbag, and I checked her email account (I used to cycle through all the family's hotmail accounts from time to time to keep them alive). We only found out each other knew already when she properly announced (by way of buying a house with him) that she was off after 23 years of marriage. It wasn't great to feel partly responsible, either, as it was through me that they met again - he was an old friend / ex of hers that I went to do some work experience with. This was all during my A2s, which didn't do much for my motivation at the time.
So, at the time, my Dad was torn apart and suffered quite seriously with depression. Both me and my sister weren't about, as I'd just gone to uni, and I can tell you it's not nice speaking to your Dad on the phone and knowing that he's quite seriously contemplating suicide. When I was back in the holidays, I came home twice to find notes inside the door saying that he wasn't coming back. Luckily for all of us, he never went through with it.
I suppose the flip side is that time is a healer. Both my parents are now remarried (my Dad was 58 at the time). My Dad's new wife is lovely, as is my Mum's new husband. They're much happier now independently than they were together. At the time, I wasn't too keen on the situation, to put it mildly, but I owe my parents everything in terms of my education and chances in life, so who am I to say how they should be living their lives? All people should have the right to be happy, at the end of the day.
Both myself and my sister found out our mother was seeing another guy independently, and for some reason didn't tell each other about it. My sister saw a text on her phone when it beeped in her handbag, and I checked her email account (I used to cycle through all the family's hotmail accounts from time to time to keep them alive). We only found out each other knew already when she properly announced (by way of buying a house with him) that she was off after 23 years of marriage. It wasn't great to feel partly responsible, either, as it was through me that they met again - he was an old friend / ex of hers that I went to do some work experience with. This was all during my A2s, which didn't do much for my motivation at the time.
So, at the time, my Dad was torn apart and suffered quite seriously with depression. Both me and my sister weren't about, as I'd just gone to uni, and I can tell you it's not nice speaking to your Dad on the phone and knowing that he's quite seriously contemplating suicide. When I was back in the holidays, I came home twice to find notes inside the door saying that he wasn't coming back. Luckily for all of us, he never went through with it.
I suppose the flip side is that time is a healer. Both my parents are now remarried (my Dad was 58 at the time). My Dad's new wife is lovely, as is my Mum's new husband. They're much happier now independently than they were together. At the time, I wasn't too keen on the situation, to put it mildly, but I owe my parents everything in terms of my education and chances in life, so who am I to say how they should be living their lives? All people should have the right to be happy, at the end of the day.
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Ok well...
He got that "dumped" text
He's been flirting
He says he's gone to see mates but you think it's the woman
I don't think you're out of bounds to try and intervene befgoes this goes further. Ask for an explanation and tell him he left fb open. While your methods are questionable, it's your dad and I would have done the same thing. Ask him what's up and load up the empty threats of telling your mum if need be. Youre just doing it for the greater good it's not as if you're doing anything wrong
Agreed it won't be easy but will be alright mate
... And leave the key logger for added evidence in case he denies it and carries on.
He got that "dumped" text
He's been flirting
He says he's gone to see mates but you think it's the woman
I don't think you're out of bounds to try and intervene befgoes this goes further. Ask for an explanation and tell him he left fb open. While your methods are questionable, it's your dad and I would have done the same thing. Ask him what's up and load up the empty threats of telling your mum if need be. Youre just doing it for the greater good it's not as if you're doing anything wrong
Agreed it won't be easy but will be alright mate
... And leave the key logger for added evidence in case he denies it and carries on.i'm sure you do and i understand why but are you sure you want to update a load of strangers on the internet about such a possibly life changing matter?
Op said:
Can't tell my mum yet unless I am just reading to much in to the flirting and my sis will just go a bit mental and probably blurt it out.
Ocuk to the rescueee
Ah so ends justify means? There's this middle eastern chap who lives at the end of my street. I'm sure he's up to something... Shall I go hide in his roof space for a few days and see if I can get the end of a conversation I know nothing about and extrapolate my own version of events?
OP, sorry to say, it comes down to two choices.
Man up and talk to your dad
Or
STFU
Crap situation but I would say follow your gut on this one.
Let him know that you have seen the facebook chat and ask for an explanation, I would hazard a guess that as soon as you mention it he will totally crap himself and break out in a sweat.
Maybe the old conscience will kick in then and the crap feeling that he has just experienced will force him to do the right thing.
Let him know that you have seen the facebook chat and ask for an explanation, I would hazard a guess that as soon as you mention it he will totally crap himself and break out in a sweat.
Maybe the old conscience will kick in then and the crap feeling that he has just experienced will force him to do the right thing.
I don't know how old OP is, or Dad is as (IMO) this has an impact on things. As a father and a husband myself I say it is none of the the OPs business.
Believe it or not your parents have other lives they don't want you poking your nose into. This is not information to give to your mum or confront your Dad with. Real life is not Jeremy Kyle.
I suspect I am somewhat older than yourself but if I thought my Dad was getting some, I'd high five him and help him make sure my Mum doesn't find out
My advice, leave it. Just leave it, you confront your Dad and you will NEVER EVER see him in the same light again. Plus he will never ever forgive you or trust you. It's his life, I assume he is a great dad (which has NOTHING to do with being a good Husband) - so let him be your Dad.
Edit: However if you actually hate your Dad (beyond some teen angst thing of him not letting you go to a party) - then go for it. Confront him.
Believe it or not your parents have other lives they don't want you poking your nose into. This is not information to give to your mum or confront your Dad with. Real life is not Jeremy Kyle.
I suspect I am somewhat older than yourself but if I thought my Dad was getting some, I'd high five him and help him make sure my Mum doesn't find out
My advice, leave it. Just leave it, you confront your Dad and you will NEVER EVER see him in the same light again. Plus he will never ever forgive you or trust you. It's his life, I assume he is a great dad (which has NOTHING to do with being a good Husband) - so let him be your Dad.
Edit: However if you actually hate your Dad (beyond some teen angst thing of him not letting you go to a party) - then go for it. Confront him.
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