Soldato
- Joined
- 1 Mar 2010
- Posts
- 6,316
So, I got spammed with a list of high-end jokes. Thus, I propose a challenge: smarty pants test; out of eleven.
Which of these do you get/know off the bat, and do they make you laugh?
1. What do you get if you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
2. Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t.
3. I tried walking up a hill without a watch but had neither the time nor the inclination.
4. What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care.
5. What do you get when you cross an octopus with a cow? A reprimand from the Scientific Integrity and Professional Ethics Committee and immediate withdrawal of your grant funding.
6. Your mum is so mean, she has no standard deviation.
7. A German asks for a martini. "Dry?" says the bartender. "Nein, just one."
8. Two women walk into a bar and discuss the Bechdel test.
9. Pavlov is sitting at a bar, when all of the sudden the phone rings. Pavlov gasps, "Oh no, I forgot to feed the dogs".
10. How many Marxists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, the lightbulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
11. I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
The rules:
Now, copy the list, and give all the wrong responses you can think of -- whatever jumps into your head first, and takes the Michael out of the jokes themselves.
Scores
0-2 : Shameful display
3-6 : Sanity -- almost assured
7-10 : A gentleman and a scholar
11 : God's own brain cell
My result: score -- 9/11; rofl-score -- 6/11.
My intentionally wrong answers are in the spoiler.
GD -- you know what to do!
Which of these do you get/know off the bat, and do they make you laugh?
1. What do you get if you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
2. Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t.
3. I tried walking up a hill without a watch but had neither the time nor the inclination.
4. What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care.
5. What do you get when you cross an octopus with a cow? A reprimand from the Scientific Integrity and Professional Ethics Committee and immediate withdrawal of your grant funding.
6. Your mum is so mean, she has no standard deviation.
7. A German asks for a martini. "Dry?" says the bartender. "Nein, just one."
8. Two women walk into a bar and discuss the Bechdel test.
9. Pavlov is sitting at a bar, when all of the sudden the phone rings. Pavlov gasps, "Oh no, I forgot to feed the dogs".
10. How many Marxists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, the lightbulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
11. I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
The rules:
- Read the list
- Laugh if you can
- Think of your answers/reasoning
- Look up the answers (where not given in the original)
- Grade your smarty pants test
- Don't give away the chase!
Now, copy the list, and give all the wrong responses you can think of -- whatever jumps into your head first, and takes the Michael out of the jokes themselves.
Scores
0-2 : Shameful display
3-6 : Sanity -- almost assured
7-10 : A gentleman and a scholar
11 : God's own brain cell
My result: score -- 9/11; rofl-score -- 6/11.
My intentionally wrong answers are in the spoiler.
- What do you get if you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? -- A riot.
- Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t. -- Physicists with pets are banned from the premises.
- I tried walking up a hill without a watch but had neither the time nor the inclination. -- Get off your backside.
- What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care. -- Seek professional help.
- What do you get when you cross an octopus with a cow? A reprimand from the Scientific Integrity and Professional Ethics Committee and immediate withdrawal of your grant funding. -- I thought something smelled fishy.
- Your mum is so mean, she has no standard deviation. -- She needs to loosen up.
- A German asks for a martini. "Dry?" says the bartender. "Nein, just one." -- You have a shocking taste in music.
- Two women walk into a bar and discuss the Bechdel test. -- Read more fiction.
- Pavlov is sitting at a bar, when all of the sudden the phone rings. Pavlov gasps, "Oh no, I forgot to feed the dogs". -- Call the RSPCA.
- How many Marxists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, the lightbulb contains the seeds of its own revolution. -- Sanction! See me in two weeks with your job search history.
- I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it. -- Said the suicide note *grabs coat*.
GD -- you know what to do!
I answered the first one with 'recursion', lol; not technically wrong, but nil pois for not being specific. 
I'm barred from most public venues for incitement to riot and grievous prosody harm. 
But I guess you didn't have the wit enough to realize the only way was out. 
