Advice from dad...

Rob200sx said:
Experience has taught me that if the lids already down, move onto the next available cubicle.
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Indeed, however, I'm yet to understand the correct etiquette for realising that the seat is warm too late - do you pull your pants back up and take a chance on moving into another cubicle, or accept the warmth that has been given?
 
Megahurtz400 said:
I cant poo anywhere but my toilet, just doesnt seem right...
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I have known people like you before, odd bunch tbh. While i find there are some times where I cant go elsewhere, it would not stop me if i really needed to.
I remember one kid at school going home for his (it was a very short walk)!
 
Morba said:
I have known people like you before, odd bunch tbh. While i find there are some times where I cant go elsewhere, it would not stop me if i really needed to.
I remember one kid at school going home for his (it was a very short walk)!
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If it was a very short walk i would walk home.

Just so much more nicer to plonk down and be able to completely relax.
 
Cr0fty said:
Whilst speaking to my dad the other day, he gave me one peice of advice which i shall never forget.

"If the opportunity arises, take a dump at work. There is nothing worse then getting home at the end of the day and wasting your own time *****ing. What better thing is there then getting paid to take a dump?"
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lol:p
 
I think one thing i dont like is hearing other people take a dump. Just like i dont want some muppet stood next to me making noises or whatever at a urinal.
 
My dad once gave me some great advice

"Remember these 3 words and you will never be short of money"

"stick em up" :p
 
Megahurtz400 said:
I cant poo anywhere but my toilet, just doesnt seem right...
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I was like this too.

But with age, the bowels do hold up less so when you gotta go, you gotta go. We have abulation jugs at our offices.

Taking a dump is a ritual at work -

a) place tissue on the floor around the toilet
b) rinse toilet seat with hot water from the abulation jug
c) good scrub on the toilet seat
d) rinse again
e) dry up toilet seat
f) do the biz sitting on a nicely warmed and cleaned seat from the hot water
g) wash myself once done
h) 2/3 flushes to go through all the used toilet paper.

Can take some time - 30 mins on some of the older toilets where it takes a while for the tank to fill up between flushes!
 
cotton_flex said:
I was like this too.

But with age, the bowels do hold up less so when you gotta go, you gotta go. We have abulation jugs at our offices.

Taking a dump is a ritual at work -

a) place tissue on the floor around the toilet
b) rinse toilet seat with hot water from the abulation jug
c) good scrub on the toilet seat
d) rinse again
e) dry up toilet seat
f) do the biz sitting on a nicely warmed and cleaned seat from the hot water
g) wash myself once done
h) 2/3 flushes to go through all the used toilet paper.

Can take some time - 30 mins on some of the older toilets where it takes a while for the tank to fill up between flushes!
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I'd just take a dump in the bushes if I had to go through all that!
 
I once went to the "executive toilet" (read: Disabled toilet) in our building, and found to my dismay that the toilet lid was closed and resting on it was a mini turd.
 
Disabled toilets are so full of win. I do feel like I have to walk out with a limp after using them sometimes to alleviate the guilt of being able bodied, but that's not too difficult given my sometimes generous payload's crippling girth.
 
Jez said:
Does it make the advice to waste your employers time and money any better? Its no different to stealing something from them of equivalent value to the labour time. Annoys me that people have this kind of attitude towards their employers, that's all. The "take as much as you can for the least effort" is an attitude which causes serious problems.
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you sound like a real fun guy, I bet people are queueing up to spend time with you

I learnt to dump at work when i first moved out of my parents, saves on toilet roll, im still doing it because Ive also learnt that women dont know when to stop wrapping it round their hand after taking a slash
 
cotton_flex said:
I was like this too.

But with age, the bowels do hold up less so when you gotta go, you gotta go. We have abulation jugs at our offices.

Taking a dump is a ritual at work -

a) place tissue on the floor around the toilet
b) rinse toilet seat with hot water from the abulation jug
c) good scrub on the toilet seat
d) rinse again
e) dry up toilet seat
f) do the biz sitting on a nicely warmed and cleaned seat from the hot water
g) wash myself once done
h) 2/3 flushes to go through all the used toilet paper.

Can take some time - 30 mins on some of the older toilets where it takes a while for the tank to fill up between flushes!
Click to expand...

lol this just cracked me up reading it
 
cotton_flex said:
I was like this too.

But with age, the bowels do hold up less so when you gotta go, you gotta go. We have abulation jugs at our offices.

Taking a dump is a ritual at work -

a) place tissue on the floor around the toilet
b) rinse toilet seat with hot water from the abulation jug
c) good scrub on the toilet seat
d) rinse again
e) dry up toilet seat
f) do the biz sitting on a nicely warmed and cleaned seat from the hot water
g) wash myself once done
h) 2/3 flushes to go through all the used toilet paper.

Can take some time - 30 mins on some of the older toilets where it takes a while for the tank to fill up between flushes!
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What the hell !!
Are you some religious nut?
 
Morba said:
wash yourself?
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Yes, I like water. Leaves me feeling all refreshed afterwards rather than the dry toilet paper friction feeling.

nokinidea said:
What the hell !!
Are you some religious nut?
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No, its just the only way I can go besides my own toilet. Anything else and I would be uncomfortable for the rest of the day knowing that I sat on a dirty toilet seat.

I also went through the phase of padding the seat with toilet paper - too messy so gave up in the end.

lol, I think I'm giving too much detail..
 
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