Amusing Checkout Chat

I thought to "snicker up your sleeves" at someone was a well known expression - obvs not

Blimey, why would an American pretend to be from Swindon - takes all sorts I guess
 
Long time ago i was paying for something at a postoffice and some little oik grabbed my £20 off the counter when i put it down so i grabbed him.

Thus ensued a few minutes of 'let me go' 'I've got mates, you're dead you are' etc. etc. until he dropped the money and ran when picked it up.

Police turned up and took me for a drive to see if i could spot him then dropped me home. Much excitement :D
 
When i'm in London we usually go to feed the squirrels in Regents Park, weird i know but GF loves it. Dunno why we have nicer squirrels in our own back garden...

ANYWAY

We were buying Nuts, lots of nuts, 5 different bags, in a tesco and the checkout guy, teenager looked at me and said in a very camp voice

"ohhh do you like nuts? i love nuts..." and gave me the eye to which i burst out laughing as it was so unexpected but brilliant.

I explained we were going to feed the squirrels (lol) to which he said something along the lines of "ooooooooh those lucky little buggers...."

THis was a teenage kid, not some old man sex pest... I was very turned on by the whole thing. Dont tell my GF.
 
Efour said:
When i'm in London we usually go to feed the squirrels in Regents Park, weird i know but GF loves it. Dunno why we have nicer squirrels in our own back garden...

ANYWAY

We were buying Nuts, lots of nuts, 5 different bags, in a tesco and the checkout guy, teenager looked at me and said in a very camp voice

"ohhh do you like nuts? i love nuts..." and gave me the eye to which i burst out laughing as it was so unexpected but brilliant.

I explained we were going to feed the squirrels (lol) to which he said something along the lines of "ooooooooh those lucky little buggers...."

THis was a teenage kid, not some old man sex pest... I was very turned on by the whole thing. Dont tell my GF.
Click to expand...
This is fantastic. Also, what makes a squirrel 'nicer'? Manners? Doesn't poo on your hand?
 
Efour said:
When i'm in London we usually go to feed the squirrels in Regents Park, weird i know but GF loves it. Dunno why we have nicer squirrels in our own back garden...

ANYWAY

We were buying Nuts, lots of nuts, 5 different bags, in a tesco and the checkout guy, teenager looked at me and said in a very camp voice

"ohhh do you like nuts? i love nuts..." and gave me the eye to which i burst out laughing as it was so unexpected but brilliant.

I explained we were going to feed the squirrels (lol) to which he said something along the lines of "ooooooooh those lucky little buggers...."

THis was a teenage kid, not some old man sex pest... I was very turned on by the whole thing. Dont tell my GF.
Click to expand...


I entered a shop anticipating such a waggish (and potentially sexually charged) exchange due to the nature of the item I was seeking for the purpose of feeding garden birds.

"Do you have fat balls?"

Any shop worker worth their body odour would have replied with a variation of "No, it's just the way I'm stood" or "That's what everyone tells me" but somehow I got the chump who just maintained a blank expression and pointed to the pet food isle.

No wonder I danced in the street outside when the shop later closed down. Even got on the local TV evening news for that one!
 
I was once asked when buying a simplehuman product 'are you sure you want to buy this, they are quite expensive you know' by the checkout person.
 
[FnG]magnolia said:
"Well my shift finishes at 9pm," she says - perfect! I think - "and my dad is picking me up at 9.10pm so I've got enough time to get changed." My heart plummets and I feel inexplicably guilty.

"Your, uh, dad?" I croak weakly.

"Yes, he picks me up when I have a late shift. That's normally Wednesday and Thursday," she says. "I'm so tired at school the next morning!" she laughs and I stand back in horror.

"I don't know how I'll cope when it's exam year in two years time!"
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This escalation was *chef's kiss*
 
I've been hit on before at the checkout, as the girl forwardly made a suggestive comment on what I was buying. Unfortunately couldn't take up the offer at the time!
 
I avoid checkout chat because I absolutely hate having my wasted in a queue because some other ****** is having a checkout chat, bag, pay, say thanks and leave ffs
 
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