Another Relationship thread

well diem't end up having a great night. I did nothin.

When i do nothin i think. And thinking is bad cos my mind wonders back to her.

Bring on the weekend. Seriously i going to have a awesome weekend being single :)
 
topgun06 said:
Doing nothing and things like MSN are the worst things to do when you are feeling down :(
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so true, my ex keeps in contact with me on MSN.

yah i should block her. i dont. sue me


but yes MSN is a bad bad thing
 
Stinky said:
so the missus split up with me yesterday becasue she wants to keep the awesome friendship that we have. wernt together long but i really do like her.

now im just feeling crap, i know it didnt last long but i've always had feelings for her.

end of moan.
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That means that she simply doesn't fancy you, I'd say.

Sometimes even short relationships can be special or worthwhile.

I'd say try and be friends with her, but if you find you can't keep your self-respect and be friends at the same time then step back for a while.

Loss of others is inevitable, as sure as the night follows day... but we have to find the things that keep us calm despite the loss.

It is time to know yourself and know your inner strengths, although finding those at any time is hard
 
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Snax said:
so true, my ex keeps in contact with me on MSN.

yah i should block her. i dont. sue me


but yes MSN is a bad bad thing
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Yep, MSN is the worst thing to do if you are upset after a breakup. You get a horrible feeling in your stomach if they sign on 'why are they not talking to me?' Also places like bebo, myspace are depressing too.

Just need to get out of the house to take your mind off of things...
 
cleanbluesky said:
That means that she simply doesn't fancy you, I'd say.

Sometimes even short relationships can be special or worthwhile.

I'd say try and be friends with her, but if you find you can't keep your self-respect and be friends at the same time then step back for a while.

Loss of others is inevitable, as sure as the night follows day... but we have to find the things that keep us calm despite the loss.

It is time to know yourself and know your inner strengths, although finding those at any time is hard
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Some great advice there. Listen to the man :)
 
This isn't aimed at the OP.

I think 80% of blokes need to grow some balls.

Yes I know it does feel a bit crap when someone splits up with you but it happens. For my last 4 gf's I'm currently drawing an acceptable 2-2. I've been dumped twice, and I've dumped twice.

Some guys just need to stop being so well, girly girly. If you want to do something, do it. If you want to say something, say it. If your missus wants to argue with you, or you want to argue with her then just god damn do it. What is the point in letting all your ambition, your fun, your anger well up inside yourself until you go mental just to keep a relationship running?

If you have to hold back emotion then why are you in a relationship with someone who you'd have to do that for?

Go out find someone who you can communicate at your level with. Someone who you can argue with because WE ALL NEED MENTAL CHALLENGES and release.

If you do what you want, say what you want and argue with your missus does that make you a bad person, a bad man? No of course it doesn't because at the end of the day you still care for her and you would never hurt her. You'd provide for her and do anything to help her BUT you don't bow to her feet every time she enters a room.

I wouldn't want to be with someone that was just a doormat. No Way.
 
Styles hit the nail on the head I think.

All been there, but pick your chin off the floor and keep going.

The internet will not help those problems, other than maybe beating off to p0rn and thinking that you don't care for an hour or so...
 
Styles I couldnt have said it better myself.

And Dreadi I hate to say it but shes either trying to let you down gently, or she wants to go boff someone else. Speaking from a girls point of view I can only think of those two reasons as to why she would say "We're on a break"
Get out with your mates and show her what shes missing, dont get all clingy etc.
 
Stinky said:
i see what your saying.

i mean i really want to friendship we had before but obviously when she meets someone else its gong to hurt lol
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You will never be friends again until you've met somebody else and got over her, even then it wont be the way it was before
 
actually talking to each other in a relationship helps no end i find, if someone is being too clingy simply tell them; if they do something that ****** you off - tell them. it's much easier than simply dumping and having to live with the consequences...

anyway, i stole this off another forum as i thought it might come in handy (hoping i'm not tempting fate or anything), so here it is, the LEARN process:

The LEARN process

I devised this acronym, LEARN, many years ago now for a TV programme. I am very pleased to say that since that time it has helped countless people put the past behind them and move onto new happiness in their lives. Hopefully it will also help you.

L stands for LIST

Make a list of all the things about your ex-partner that you did not like. It may start off small, but if you pin it up in your kitchen so that you see it daily, you will be amazed at how it will grow.

Remember how he or she always told the same jokes? Or got drunk at parties? Or put you down in company? Or could not be bothered to get involved in your job or hobbies?

Write it all down and start realising that maybe your lost relationship was not so great after all.

E is for EXPERIENCE

After a relationship is finished, we tend to think that we can never be loved again. This is not true, of course, but it is what we believe at the time.

The fact is that there is every probability you will be loved again. Not by your ex-partner, of course: you will never again share exactly what you had in that relationship, but you can have just as important feelings with someone else.

A stands for APPRECIATION

Appreciation of yourself, that is.

You need to look at yourself in the mirror and focus on your best features and congratulate yourself on them. Do this often.

Another helpful task is to write a list of 50 things that you like about yourself. This might take some doing, but it is a rewarding exercise.

You see, when we are dumped we tend to take the blame on our own shoulders. We mentally beat ourselves up for not being more fun or more intelligent, or more attractive, or much better in bed.

Try to stop this destructive thinking and - just for a change - allow yourself to feel your own goodness. So, deliberately recall times when you have helped someone, or been kind to a stranger, or put yourself out for a neighbour.

Learning to accept and value your own kindness, beauty and talent is very healing.

R is for RE-ORGANISING

Unfortunately, when you have been half of a couple for a while, many of your friends will be other couples who knew you and your ex.

Sadly, some of these people are probably avoiding you like the plague now, fearful, in some cranky way, that having you around will make their own relationship more vulnerable.

But even if you keep plenty of old friends, this is a time when you need a whole new circle of mates of both genders.

N is for NO SEX WITH YOUR EX!

Often when you have been apart for several months, your ex may suddenly decide that the grass was not greener outside the relationship after all.

Or perhaps he or she will sense that you are getting your life in order and may feel jealous that you are now in a position to find someone else. Maybe he or she will just fancy a quick snog for old time's sake.

The trouble is that sex and closeness might make you feel loved and wanted temporarily, but it will leave you with more sorrow and confusion afterwards.

So do not do it. If your ex begs to come back and try again, then you can make a decision at some later date about whether or not you will give it a go, but never have sex before this point.

Anyway, the chances are that with all the suffering you have gone through and all the work you have done on yourself to get your act together your ex-partner will be the very last person you want to be with!
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i see what you mean, lol but being to nice does have side effects. like said it can really annoy them if they try and have a moan at you and you just take it, usually a argument is best. gets it all off your chest.

weekend is nearly here :D
 
Platypus have a look at what she's previously written. Read that and tell me that wouldn't **** you off. There's a difference between being nice and being the below. I've written what I think about the situation at the top of the page.


knip said:
But theres nice and then theres somebody who did anything to avoid a row, if I even raised my voice slightly he would be like "Please dont shout at me"

Was insecure, if I even mentioned an ex of mine who I was still mates with, he would literally burst into tears.

Plus he was one of those "I'll do whatever you want" types who wouldnt think for himself, and believe me that gets annoying when all you want sometimes is for him to get a backbone and say "Oi bitch this is what we're doing, and if you dont like it tough"

And I couldnt just get in the door from work and sit down and do nothing, he'd be on the phone straight away (I work the same hours each day so he knew exactly what time I would be home and phone me 5 mins later) with the "what are you doing etc etc" Felt like I couldnt breath.

Plus I just wasnt physically attracted to him, so that side of things kind of didnt exist either, which isnt me at all.

I dont want somebody to be mean to me, I do want someone who can be independent and think for themselves outside of me, believe me it gets very suffocating.
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nin9abadga said:
anyway, i stole this off another forum as i thought it might come in handy (hoping i'm not tempting fate or anything), so here it is, the LEARN process:
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That sounds like it was written by a girl. :o

Truth is, girls don't know what they want. Or at least, they know what they want, but they don't say it/they're afraid to say it.

Best cure to get over a girl is to go out and find more girls. It doesn't mean you have to pull them - just go out and have a good time with your mates. Be adventurous. Be spontaneous. Meet and chat to some new people.
 
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