Surely your team can do rubbish or you could cause the team to lose by doing something careless due to not knowing the controls or how the game at least works a little?? This is what I meant by 'getting your butt handed to you'
I am a little unsure though, why you assume I think it's like COD or BF?? Only a few posts ago, I stated I pictured being able to have say 1 team defending a depot or something and the other team attacking, but in realistic type mode. Maybe I read your post in the wrong context??
And that type of scenario that you described is exactly what Call of Duty and Battlefield are generally about. You can't just "throw" realism into it. Sure, you could put up a mission on a public server with those exact objectives, but it would purely turn into a deathmatch.
The point of ArmA is that it's a game where what you do has an impact - missions can be, and often are, designed to last for hours. The above would be over in five minutes.
Sure it could work if you were part of a community that does team vs team scenarios, where everything was organized. But for Joe Public, that won't happen in a "realistic" way.
"Learning the buttons" is all a part of learning and getting used to any new games; but there is a hell of a lot more to ArmA than simply moving, pointing and clicking.
Please do not take this the wrong way, but this is what ArmA has come to in some respects - it has had a huge influx of people due to the popularity of DayZ which is a good thing, however it attracted a large proportion of people that don't want to play ArmA for what it is, a military simulator.
I'm sure people will disagree with what I've put, or see it as too harsh, but that is the reality of it.