Asking someone where they are from
- Thread starter Lysander
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Compared to who? You don’t think a lady in waiting to the Queen might mix with people from all over the world?
Its a royal engagement, she is dressed in different clothing suggesting she is from a different cultural background and yes, that is probably one of the first things I would ask someone at and event like this. I would be interested to know.
Whenever I have been abroad one of the first questions most of the locals ask me is "where are you from". Perhaps I will start saying Mozambique and see if any of them ask me "where are you really from". I reckon quite a few of them might press me for more information.
Curse my racist interest.
No I don't. Because if she did, then it probably wouldn't have taken so long for someone to report her for saying something dumb.
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Quite, the footfall through The Palace is probably more diverse than anywhere outside of an international airport.
I find it saddening to see a lady who has given a long spell of her life to serving our late Queen feeling obliged to apologise to the woman and end her servitude in ignominy.
She deserves her retirement, she didn't deserve to feel obliged to prostrate herself at political correctness' feet before taking it.
I would suggest that she mixes a lot more than most honestly. Doesn't stop her from being a little rude or short with people though.
Personally I would think it rude to refer to someone as "lady" in the way the black woman did but hey ho. My partner is NHS and some of the black staff would be considered very rude by british standards but its just a cultural thing.
Soldato
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It's a tough subject. I know my wife doesn't enjoy the question. She's English (though will say she's British, never understood the difference given she was born in England). Her parents are Indian, but one was born in England. Therefore, if someone asks where she's from or where she's really from, she's from England.
I've been known to ask lots of people where they're from because I'm genuinely interested. I love the fact that the UK is so multicultural, and I would like to share common interests in their home countries. I'm sure I've come across as rude several times by accident. I tend to ask where their family is from, because I can't think of a better way to phrase it.
What it comes down to is people assuming you aren't British because you aren't white. That's daft.
I've been known to ask lots of people where they're from because I'm genuinely interested. I love the fact that the UK is so multicultural, and I would like to share common interests in their home countries. I'm sure I've come across as rude several times by accident. I tend to ask where their family is from, because I can't think of a better way to phrase it.
What it comes down to is people assuming you aren't British because you aren't white. That's daft.
Well I am naturally from the UK as I was born here. I'm not from anywhere else nor was I made in a laboratory. If the person wants to know my heritage then ask that question as I am more than happy to explain the roots of my family. There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking someone their heritage and no one should be shamed for doing so.
But if someone says where they are from and you decide to ask where they're really from. You're an idiot and deserve an idiotic response. By doing the whole 'really from' thing you're suggesting I couldn't possibly be from where I've said and that my whole life is a lie. It's invalidating my whole life experience simply because they don't think I could ever be from where I said I was.
People complain that minorities don't want to integrate or make an attempt to do so. Yet when we do, we get a question suggesting we're not part of the same group. So, when I'm in Jamaica they see me as British but when I'm at home in the UK they see me as not-quite-British-enough and must be something else. Luckily, I don't work in retail any longer which was where I got asked that the most but I suppose next time someone asks me I'll just let them define what I am as it appears I no longer get to do that.
Couldn't give two *****. Rude old lady chooses to quit. Meh.
Try being brown and living in Brum. Every petrol station or newsagents they'll ask "where from?", "no, where you parents from?, "no, no. Where you family from?" - You soon learn to reply first with a little head bobble saying "Jalandhar" with an accent. Is that racist? Am I racist? I think I might be...
I've always said British as that's the nationality my passport shows.
I think you're giving too much credit to the cretin who asked by interpretting it far beyond what you know they're really asking.
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"Where are you really from?"
"The Romans invaded Britain in AD 43. In around AD 800, the Vikings invaded...."
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That's fair. She always says she's not English though. That confuses me.
I can see her hesitation due to growing up and seperating yourself as an indian kid from the english kids at school, yet all being British at the same time. English is more of a label in this instance, as oppossed to a nationality. Just my guess based on myself, anyway.
I guess the issue here is that clearly you have been discriminated against throughout your life which has informed how you perceive these things. Its very hard for a lot of people to understand this when they might have asked the same question in a similar fashion without malice.
I have no issue at all with people from everywhere in the world living here. I don't think them any less "native" than myself unless they choose to exist in a little bubble outside of society. When I ask someone a question about their heritage it is never to insinuate that they don't belong and I don't think I have ever tried the old "where are you really from" line but perhaps I have offended someone unintentionally.
If someone sounds 100% English its pretty clear they have been here either their entire life or certainly most of it so the question is obviously about heritage at that point.
Basically my point is that you can have two people engaging in a conversation who take completely different things away from it and neither one of them is in the wrong despite both parties feeling aggrieved or offended despite none being intentioned.
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It really depends on how the conversation unfolds.
Go to the US and ask the same line of questioning and you will probably get “slavery”, then that’s just going to be awkward!
Best pick on something specific, like “where is that accent from”, or "where is that bracelet from”.
The line that when she went too far is when she said “Your people”, which brings up the old colonial past where the brits (and much of the Europeans) treated people from other parts of the world as lesser than. This is when it all gone "oh lady....now that is racist.
Go to the US and ask the same line of questioning and you will probably get “slavery”, then that’s just going to be awkward!
Best pick on something specific, like “where is that accent from”, or "where is that bracelet from”.
The line that when she went too far is when she said “Your people”, which brings up the old colonial past where the brits (and much of the Europeans) treated people from other parts of the world as lesser than. This is when it all gone "oh lady....now that is racist.
But this is the crux of the issue. Someone has been a little insensitive with their wording and its suddenly racist. In my opinion, being racist is a horrible thing therefore accusing someone of being racist is a serious matter and yet it feels like its become just a throwaway remark for any minor indiscretion that could be taken in the wrong light.
Offence being taken doesn't mean offence was intended.
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If she was white would she have been asked these questions?
No of course not.
No of course not.
I think many are not overtly or even knowingly/consciously racist. They just have a racist viewpoint ingrained in how they see the world (obviously not uncommon in a woman her age)
This was apparent in the woman's line of questioning.
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Although Lady S didn't seemed to not pick up on the vibes that Fulani was not happy to talk about her background or ethnicity, as she kept digging rather than accepting her first answer, Fulani's response of "They didn't leave any records" was fairly rude too.
So neither of them actually come across particularly well!
So neither of them actually come across particularly well!
This "where are you really from?" after you've said you were born in England, is that person saying "if you were white I would accept it, but because you're brown I'm going to say you're not really from England, you're actually from somewhere else, so where is that?".
A lot of people are making this excuse that they are "interested in your heritage", and there are a hundred different ways to ask about that. But why was this "I knew we'd get there in the end", as if she'd caught out a person pretending to be English and now she'd proved that they're not.
Also the excuse of this person being 83, she has been in that role for 60 years, a role that requires a certain level of diplomacy, so there's no excuse really.
A lot of people are making this excuse that they are "interested in your heritage", and there are a hundred different ways to ask about that. But why was this "I knew we'd get there in the end", as if she'd caught out a person pretending to be English and now she'd proved that they're not.
Also the excuse of this person being 83, she has been in that role for 60 years, a role that requires a certain level of diplomacy, so there's no excuse really.