Asking someone where they are from

danlightbulb said:
My 2p:

* Poor, insensitive choice of words from SH for sure, but if she'd have asked what the person's heritage was, or where her ancestors were from, would that also have been racist? And whilst its true that question would be unlikely to be asked to a white person, that is not because its racist its simply because they are clearly black. In the same way, one might expect someone in a wheelchair to be asked what happened, or someone with an unusual accent to be asked where they are from (white or not).

* The charity that the black person was from - Sistah Space - is that not racist? Look at how its spelt. Its a play on a pronunciation of a word that is only made by certain heritage of people with a particular accent type. So that also is racist.
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If you asked the person in the wheelchair "what happened?", and they responded "I was in an accident", would you then ask "but what really happened?"
 
Bassmansam said:
Where are your parents from
If answer = UK:
Where are your grandparents from?
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And not one single rational person would get upset at that line of questioning. Though it would just be easier to say heritage because how many grandparents do you go back? My grandparents were part of the Windrush generation but my daughters grandparents would've been born in England/Wales.

Ancestry/Heritage is just a easy inoffensive way to ask someone
 
Narrow-minded questioning from a privileged old person. Probably best that she resigned.

How many generations need to have been born in a place before simple people can accept it doesn't matter?
 
Bassmansam said:
If i saw a someone dressed in what appears to be traditional bright african clothing(not sure of the name) I would probably ask where the origin of said clothing/person is from?

Whats the problem..
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Nothing at all unless you ask 7 times because you didnt get the answer you wanted
 
Raymond Lin said:
2 - Don't do the 2nd thing, deflecting. That's what 5 years old do when they get caught stealing cookies "Mum, but Kevin stole some too!"
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Its a separate issue sure, but if we're addressing racism then we need to look also at hyprocritical behaviour. I.e, its ok to name the charity in a way stereotypical to Caribbean people, but not ok to assume anything about their heritage.
 
iamtheoneneo said:
If she was white would she have been asked these questions?
No of course not.
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It depends I think - the lady went dressed in such a way that clearly alluded to her foreign background, thus promoting the line of questions.

If a white person from say Eastern Europe went and they were dressed in something that was clearly foreign, it might well bring up a similar question in ‘chit chat’.

The problem wasn’t the original question - but that she continued to pursue it and wouldn’t take the original response as a firm answer. She should have left it at that. That’s when it became clearly uncomfortable and wrong.
 
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Bassmansam said:
But its kinda obvious that the person has heritage in another country, so whats the problem asking where said country is?
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Why is it obvious? Because she was black? And also, if the first answer is "I'm from the UK" - why should you doubt it so much that you need to correct it?

It's classic abuse and perceived sense of "i'm above you so there's no way you are actually British"
 
danlightbulb said:
Its a separate issue sure, but if we're addressing racism then we need to look also at hyprocritical behaviour. I.e, its ok to name the charity in a way stereotypical to Caribbean people, but not ok to assume anything about their heritage.
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That may be true but it’s a separate issue, the subject here is the conversation between the 2, not the name of her charity.

Conversation.

Charity.

They are 2 different things. When you press on with the different thing, you are deflecting and ignoring the conversation, not addressing it at all. You can do that but that means you admit she was 100% wrong, which is fine and we can move on and talk about the name of the charity.

If you don’t admit she was wrong then let’s address the conversation first.

I mean how would you like it if I deflect and bring in another subject? We will never get anywhere.
 
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shiver said:
Why is it obvious? Because she was black? And also, if the first answer is "I'm from the UK" - why should you doubt it so much that you need to correct it?

It's classic abuse and perceived sense of "i'm above you so there's no way you are actually British"
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Wasn't she wearing some traditional African clothing? Thats what makes it obvious that she has heritage elswhere
 
Bassmansam said:
But its kinda obvious that the person has heritage in another country, so whats the problem asking where said country is?
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All British people have heritage in another country. So you should ask all British people what their heritage is? Or only people with a tan?
 
110% said:
All British people have heritage in another country. So you should ask all British people what their heritage is? Or only people with a tan?
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What’s the problem if you do ask them?

Are you not allowed to ask where anyone is from? Isn’t it an interesting question?
 
shiver said:
The problem is if you ask them and get an answer, then immediately not believe it because it doesn't fit into your narrow mind
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I’ve already stated I agree with that. The problem wasn’t the question it was the continued pursuit of it after she received an answer.

But it’s still OK to ask someone where they are from, surely.
 
110% said:
All British people have heritage in another country. So you should ask all British people what their heritage is? Or only people with a tan?
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No i wouldn't ask a white person the same because its not as interesting to me as i've seen them all of my life. If i was in conversation with black person dressed in traditional african clothing then i would ask them where they are from/ or where there heritage is from.

Its human nature to be curious about things that are not common.
 
rare said:
What’s the problem if you do ask them?

Are you not allowed to ask where anyone is from? Isn’t it an interesting question?
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yes, so no problem, she should ask everyone where they are from, not only the people with a tan. And when they answer don't say "but where are you really from?" and at the "I knew we'd get there in the end".

where are you from?
 
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