bah, more relationship crud, cheating ect.. :(

something_totally_different

something_totally_different

something_totally_different

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Joined
10 Oct 2007
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1,165
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in the arse of england.
we have been together for 8 months now and weve had our issues during this time but this recent one had me quite rattled. so much so that i made a tit out of myself...

basically 1 month into the relationship she cheated on me with 2 of her friends at the same time. Then lied to me about it for 3 and a half months AND got her other friend to cover for her regarding why she didnt come home that night.

as a consequence of not going to work the following morning she also lost her job and has been unemployed for the last six months and living in my flat. I found out what had gone on 3 months ago and i wasnt best pleased to say the least, but I gave her one more chance.

3 weeks later i found some guy on the net who was a friend of hers had sent her a dodgy webcam vid. total invasion of her privacy i know, but the problem is every damn time i look somewhere private, i find something. I dont want to look at all but i just know she doesnt tell me everything even if its innocent, i dont get told everything and after what she did i deserve that much.

so, were up to modern day, she starts work last week and this lad gives her his phone number via a friend in the office. she tells me about it and finds it funny, but for me its alarm bells and panic stations :( i never used to be like this, i hate it :(

anyway, turns out the person in the office was an old friend of mine i hadnt spoke to in 4 years and as its the first new person she has decided to make friends with for some time i figured i can hardly stand in the way.

yesterday she was going for a drink with him after work and i left work early, went to town, bumped into her and another guy, not the one i was expecting...

suffice to say i instantly jumped the gun, presumed the worst and got out of there as fast as i could. after a couple of heated phone conversations she managed to convince me that it was perfectly innocent, the lad was the house mate of the guy she met from work, she had gone back to theirs for a drink and i was invited.

so, i left for their house. i had a good night, there were quite a few people there and i had realised i was just being paranoid...

then today, her damn phone keeps playing hell with the medusa headset so i grabbed it and was trying to find a way to sheild the headset with various materials, the plan was to send a text and play with the thing untill i could figure out how to stop it but i went into delivery reports by mistake. theres 9 del reports to this guy and only 3 sent messages and 3 texts back. which means she has deleted six messages she sent. even without looking in her message box which i havent done, that just seems odd.

just what the $%^& am i turning into. i feel a constant dull ache in my chest and i dont know how to fix it. :( i cant keep asking her questions because she just doesnt understand the only reason i snoop sometimes is because i WANT to trust her but she keeps messing up. This just isnt me :(
 
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If you can't trust her (for good reason) and its making you feel this bad, then finish it. There are plenty of other girls out there who won't cheat on you and would love to be with you.
 
Awww. If you're not usually like this, then obviously, even though you want to trust her, you just can't after what happend before which is understandable, but you do have to have a big conversation with her about how you feel and why you feel that way to clear the air and make sure you both know where you stand.

If there is no trust, you are always going to have that ache because you dont want to be hurt again, so perhaps it would be better to end it so you dont have that worry all the time, but if it can be sorted then all well and good.
 
Trust is a big factor in a realtionship, well the biggest. If you can't trust no point being there. It will just make you paranoid, I know of this, as I've been in a similiar situation. As much as you probably like her, if she's making you feel like this, better to end it now, incase something worse comes later on.

Wish you luck.
 
M0T said:
Why is that?
Click to expand...
People cheat for one of two reasons:
1. They can't be faithful
2. There's something that they need that's missing in the relationship

The first isn't fixable, the second is potentially fixable depending on what's missing.
 
Shes gonna run you down man, it'll be stupidly hard but you need to end it and stop being blinded by the love you have. A relationship without trust is like a fish out of water
 
As said before in this thread, leave her. Seriously not worth making your life unhappy.

You'd be better off with someone who you can fully trust and be able to not worry about.
 
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