Behaviour of manager at work

If I take issue over something, I deal with the problem directly. Often it's the best way rather than involving lots of people. I think it might just be easier for her to have a quiet work with her manager - makes it less complicated.
 
robjf said:
My fiance is currently around 18 weeks pregnant, and we're very excited. Recently her manager has started making the occasional comment which is starting to get to her, recently when her team was laming about going out to get new dresses for someone's leaving do, her manager said she would have to go and get a new tent...

Also someone commented on how nice my fiancée top was, to which her manager said, 'well she won't fit in to it for much longer' with a bit of a smirk on her face.

Now individually these things could be excused as they are generally a friendly team and her manager isn't a horrible or mean person, however this seems to be increasing in frequency.

I've experienced one comment, as we work in the same place, and I'm no sure how she can't see someone might take offence from it...

So what would you do in this situation, she wants to speak to her manager, however just thinking about approaching her about it gets her upset.

What do you think? Thanks for your advice? :)
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That is indeed classed as harassment and bullying. Is there a HR department at all ?
 
I for one am completely confused why a woman who has an expanding belly due to having a child grow within it is upset by observations that she has an expanding belly.

Is pregnancy an embarrassment or something? Really, I'm not being facetious I just honestly do not get it.

For example, the statement regarding the nice top, is it not factually correct? As the child grows she will probably grow out of it. Hence many women's clothes shops have a maternity wear department.
 
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Screw HR a bunch of job creation specialist if there ever was. Confront the manager in-front of everyone, when she does it again. Say your putting in a complaint instantly regarding harassment. This will then over HR heads and the manager to somebody who can actually do something. Do not back down from this point of view.

Failing that grow a pair and give as good as you get.
 
But she is getting fat? So what? She's pregnant. Ignore it would be my suggestion. Why does it get to her? She is getting fat. I call my pregnant g/f fat all the time for lols. "Alright fatty where's that belly button gone, get me a beer when you go to the kitchen darlin" etc. She loves it.
 
Sounds like they both have the emotional IQ similar to children. Lame comments and not worthy of getting a rise from it.

But nonetheless;

Freefaller said:
If I take issue over something, I deal with the problem directly. Often it's the best way rather than involving lots of people. I think it might just be easier for her to have a quiet work with her manager - makes it less complicated.
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This
 
Reminds me of the episode of friends where Rachael's boss has to apologise to her over insinuations he wants to buy her baby.
 
robjf said:
Hmmm interesting point. Didn't think about the fact HR aren't necessarily there to defend employees...
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HR's best way to defend the company is to look after the staff correctly. It minimises risk. Get one uppity staff member, and HR do not follow correct policy, and it opens a HUGE can of worms!

So, yes, take work grievances to HR, or failing that someone senior who will report it to HR if you make an official report.
 
divaboy said:
Mountain and mole hill spring to mind, I'm sure her manager would be equally upset if she realized she had caused offence . Maybe a quiet word from your other half to her would nip it in the bud.
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+1 (another one)

This is good advice. This is what I'd do. Get your other half to talk to her privately then if it does not sort it out, take it further.
 
robjf said:
My fiance is currently around 18 weeks pregnant, and we're very excited. Recently her manager has started making the occasional comment which is starting to get to her, recently when her team was laming about going out to get new dresses for someone's leaving do, her manager said she would have to go and get a new tent...

Also someone commented on how nice my fiancée top was, to which her manager said, 'well she won't fit in to it for much longer' with a bit of a smirk on her face.

Now individually these things could be excused as they are generally a friendly team and her manager isn't a horrible or mean person, however this seems to be increasing in frequency.

I've experienced one comment, as we work in the same place, and I'm no sure how she can't see someone might take offence from it...

So what would you do in this situation, she wants to speak to her manager, however just thinking about approaching her about it gets her upset.

What do you think? Thanks for your advice? :)
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She is jealous
 
Just get her to raise it with directly with the manager in private, if the team is as friendly as you say she may think it is just a bit of a joshing and not realise it has gone too far. If nothing gets said about it, then it may (rightly or wrong) come across as being accepted.

Obviously, if the manager doesn't take the feedback onboard, then it is something to escalate.
 
wow at this thread..

your gf is being overly sensitive, which is understandable. She will get fat, thats pregnancy for you. People making comments arent doing it maliciously in 99.9% of cases and especially in this case as you said she is a friendly person.

the absolute first port of call would be mentioning it to the manager herself. your gf doesnt have to do it, you can. just go have a quiet word and ask her to tone it down as your gf is a bit upset about it. she will probably be horrified that she was causing offence and stop immediately amid floods of apologies.

all this talk of going directly to HR without even mentioning any offence being taken are a sad commentary on todays Britain. :/
 
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