Being Diagnosed with ADHD (not medical thread)

[randomshenans]

Hello everyone.

I was chatting with someone a few weeks ago and they had said in conversation "are you sure you don't have ADHD?" we laughed, very good yes, but he was like "no but really though?"
I would joke about it with all the things I have on the go, but I'd never actually looked into what it was.

My knowledge level was "the unruly kid in class" and so I hadn't actually looked at what it meant and how it manifested itself, or could, depending on the individual.

Since then I've spent a looooot of time not just researching, but I've met a great number of people who have ADHD and it's been mindblowing and very emotional.

I have spent years thinking I am just a bit different to others and no one really understands me. It's pretty isolating in a lot of ways, but I thought it was just me. Speaking to people who go into the levels of their lives and their thoughts and feelings that could be coming out of your own mouth and mind, has just been a crazy experience.

I'm currently seeing the work (free, thanks work) psychologist, who is capable of an "official diagnosis" but I have no doubt at this point. Especially since the conversations I've had with others, that really just rubber stamped it for me.

I've spent the last week replaying events of my life in the 3rd person, thinking about how things have played out where my impulsiveness, emotional response, lack of organisation etc etc etc has led to things, and I just see them in a completely different light. All the way back to school time! It's mindblowingly mental.

Has anyone else been diagnosed later in life? I remember in the mental health thread I'd seen someone I think it was LuckyB? Anyway, I'm still on my "journey" of discovery really. I don't really want the drugs to be honest. I mean, it would be nice to dampen the constant noise in my head, but at the same time I find that whole concept of it going quite scary.

Anyone else? Even as a child?

 

[Lysander]

Self-diagnosis can be a tricky thing. We can be 100% sure we have condition X but after careful investigation it can be found to be something else.

So you probably have something, but it may or may not be ADHD.

For example, for years I thought I had SSAD, turns out it is actually a mixture of OCD, misophonia and depression. I would never in my life have dreamed I have OCD, but according to my therapist I do and this was after working together for many, many sessions.

I would spend multiple sessions with your psychologist and go from there. As for the medication, that's totally up to you. My GP recommended me various meds but I never took them.

 

[randomshenans]

Self-diagnosis can be a tricky thing. We can be 100% sure we have condition X but after careful investigation it can be found to be something else.

So you probably have something, but it may or may not be ADHD.

For example, for years I thought I had SSAD, turns out it is actually a mixture of OCD, misophonia and depression. I would never in my life have dreamed I have OCD, but according to my therapist I do and this was after working together for many, many sessions.

I would spend multiple sessions with your psychologist and go from there. As for the medication, that's totally up to you. My GP recommended me various meds but I never took them.

I really don't care about the label, it's more just wanted to learn more about myself. It's very comforting.


I have many sessions booked through them, so that's all good.

 

[OpenToSuggestions]

I created a thread recently about being diagnosed with Autism in my 30s. I am on the 3y waiting list now for ADHD.

Gaining an understanding of yourself can really help.
I have found that the diagnosis has made my employer more considerate too.

 

[Psymonkee]

Yep this rings true for me too. Talking to some friends online and they were all 'Are you sure you don't have ADHD?' and I laughed it off too. Pushed my way through the GP to get the process started and in September last year I was diagnosed ADHD Inattentive type. It's hard work re-visiting aspects of your life and reframing everything. Just turned 39 and now everything makes sense?

It's been a hell of a Pandemic.

 

[randomshenans]

It's hard work re-visiting aspects of your life and reframing everything. Just turned 39 and now everything makes sense?

When so many aspects of your life seem to just connect in ways they never have, it's a totally mad thing. That's probably the thing that I've noticed the most the last week. As well as the things that you have learnt to do in your life to try and fit in more with the social norm or just to hide aspects of who you are.

Like I said, for me it's just getting that understanding and helping me 1. embrace some of that to a point and just let me be me and 2. maybe find more commonly used ways to deal with some things I struggle with. I need 10 lists to try and get anything done, and anything remotely uninteresting for me I try and gamify in some way to get through, even sending emails, but would just be nice to see how other people find ways.

I woke up this morning with just the most noise in my head. Often I can use that for good, but this was because I have tings on my mind. I told my ex wife that I'd take our shared debt post separation and it's been playing with me. I can cope with it I think, but it'd make her life really tough. I just was stuck in this loop of, "is this me just making decisions without taking into account the consequences again" so my head was done. I can't quite explain the noise in any way that could be described unless you experience it really. You just can't it off, whether I'm in creative mode or something is playing with me.

 

[Rich1988]

I'm currently seeing the work (free, thanks work) psychologist, who is capable of an "official diagnosis" but I have no doubt at this point. Especially since the conversations I've had with others, that really just rubber stamped it for me.

Do you mean psychiatrist ? because psychologists cannot prescribe medication and generally dont diagnose ADHD.

I was diagnosed in my 30's and it's been a pretty eye opening experience. What I would say is don't discount medication, you may be suprised at how effective it can be. (although this is not medical advice haha)

 

[LuckyBenski]

Ahhhh came in to read up, read a very relatable post, then saw my name dropped

Yep I was diagnosed at 33 last year and there was just a shocking amount of... How did they know my life was like this? It was like they understood my childhood experiences and patterns (and current/adult challenges/quirks) better than I do. It's thrown everything into a whole new light for me, and made me revisit and reassess my feelings about a whole lot of stuff. It's a very weird sensation to have the very fixed and distant memories of childhood suddenly transform into a new perspective.

Since diagnosis I have started medication, but also made a lot of changes to my lifestyle (caffeine free, eat healthier, try to sleep better... Sometimes). I've also obviously been self reflecting, making sense of stuff, learning new vocabulary and strategies, negotiating with my partner on how to get better/help her deal with me. I'm on the fence about the meds, they helped for a bit but I'd be interested to see if the benefits were really just the stopping caffeine etc. I've had ups and downs.

It hasn't been entirely trouble free and right now this last couple of weeks my brain is just a big jar of bees. Can barely concentrate, can lose hours to my phone while sitting at my work desk til gone 7pm... But I am also very preoccupied with buying my first house which involves leaving London for the first time. So somewhat of a peak in stress.

I will say this, being overtired or generally worn down will seriously exacerbate my brain issues. It's the single biggest factor in the whole thing IMO. I won't lie, I've been very emotional for a few days and reading this thread I relived my own diagnosis a bit and got teary.

1. embrace some of that to a point and just let me be me and 2. maybe find more commonly used ways to deal with some things I struggle with. I need 10 lists to try and get anything done

Big time, I am really starting to look for a new way to cope than "drowning in to-do lists, late and missing stuff". When I was younger I kept up with it all but these days there's just too much to do and everything takes me ages.

I have spent years thinking I am just a bit different to others and no one really understands me. It's pretty isolating in a lot of ways, but I thought it was just me.

I think I'm coming full circle on this, I have always been at odds with how I want to live my life vs what I think people want me to do, asking "How do others do this?". I spend a lot of time watching and analysing others in hope of figuring out... How to life?

It's hard work re-visiting aspects of your life and reframing everything. Just turned 39 and now everything makes sense?

It's been a hell of a Pandemic.

AMEN

 

[randomshenans]

psychiatrist

That's the one all sound the same haha

 

[randomshenans]

Big time, I am really starting to look for a new way to cope than "drowning in to-do lists, late and missing stuff". When I was younger I kept up with it all but these days there's just too much to do and everything takes me ages.

Yea, I realllllllllly try to break them all done. I got into a habit of putting everything I can on the list. No matter how big or small. Then break it into categories, assign an effort to it (will it take me 2mins, 20min, 1hr, multiple hours) if the effort is high I tend to break it down more, because otherwise it's too much to take on and I also assign a priority on it. Each morning I try and look at which I will take on that day. Some days if I'm feeling low, I'll try and tackle a load of low effort stuff (often it's emails I've been avoiding, of course.) so I can get a load of things ticked off and a boost.
Doubt it's the best way. I've still had **** on there months now, but I try either way lol

I think I'm coming full circle on this, I have always been at odds with how I want to live my life vs what I think people want me to do, asking "How do others do this?". I spend a lot of time watching and analysing others in hope of figuring out... How to life?

I used to compare a lot, but since my separation last year, I also found myself looking at who I am more, and what that is. This comes as a part of this and of course, I'd like to be able to get through stuff easier, but I also figure, who is doing life properly? Are we all just doing this but from different places? I am very much just attempting to roll with things. That was something I really wanted to try and do prior to going down this hole but that hasn't changed.

Thank you for your comments, it's really comforting to read thoughts of others. xx

 

[Tired9]

I was diagnosed with ADHD. But was abused and neglected as a child.
My outbursts were emotional. Not ADHD. It is a double edged sword. ADHD as a diagnosis can be spot on or used to make an easy diagnosis. Parents lie and hide things to save their asses.... Mine did.

My ADHD medication *Ritalin* caused bad seizures -Epilepy.

I was on carbomezipan and Dexidrin for both until they found that my behaviour did not change if I was on the drugs or not.

The diagnoses was completely wrong.

Me and my siblings and parents all had observations done by psychiatrists and professionals.

My dad had a WAIS III test done. Scored 73 this is just above mental retardation.
He has never worked. Makes no sense on a lot of things. Married to an emotional wreck personality with no control of his anger, no ability to take responsibility, laziness... Not a good mix.


Mother was smarter. Never worked. Don't know her scores but she was abused by her own parents. So viscous circle.

My brother has autism though he is higher functioning. My youngest sister has global learning delay.

I was found to be somewhat arrogant but very quick and intelligent. My oldest sister I have no clue about as she was the one to disrupt the family and get the ball rolling. We all went into foster care.

Judging by employment.

I worked from 16 helping the elderly with gardens with a work initiative scheme, I was paid £30 a week EMA. I built fences. Laid flag stones. Barked. Strimmed.

Moved into the Army.
Did warehouse work after a stint in army.
Worked as kitchen staff for Wetherspoon's and am now on my way to being a network engineer for CISCO and starting abroad in Canada.

I left foster care at 18. No help. I was under FCA.


My brother has only ever worked as a cleaner.
I love my brother to bits.

My youngest sister did hairdressing in college and I told her to chase her dream.


Abuse etc really stops people or delays them
I had no clue I was capable of anything I am doing. I am 32 this year.

As someone else said in here. Self diagnosis is hard to get accuracy. But I wish you and all in here the best of luck.

 

[shifty_uk]

I was diagnosed with adult ADHD when I was 25, I was speaking about unrelated matters when it got brought up and I was referred to a specialist.

I've always been an achiever in the sense that I'm ambitious, work hard, have a business and employ staff in industries that require a relative degree of intelligence. I was awful at school though, very poor grades and didn't stay on past 16. I wasn't disruptive in any way but on reflection I couldn't focus on anything that wasn't of interest to me. I could hyper focus outside of school on other subjects.

My teachers were always frustrated with me but positive in the sense that they could see I had a head on my shoulders enough to be ok.

My mind is constant, I don't sleep well; You wouldn't know to be around me but I'm very unorganised, my head is chaotic so I surround myself with people who are organised and ensure they are focused instead.

The medication is horrible, I've been on and off things for years but really can't stand it. Sadly it does help though.

I'm still of the opinion that everyone is different, it's not a defect as such as it can be harnessed in other ways but particularly in modern life, you need some degree of control; even when it comes to being focused enough to respond to your daily emails.

 

[MoNkeE]

This is autism related but still somewhat relatable to your circumstances. Both my kids (3 and 2) look to have autism at the moment, the 3 year old currently going through assessment through nursery. We saw signs early on, and have done plenty of research. If anyone watched Paddy McGuinness’ show on his family’s experience with autism, it was hugely enlightening - his wife ended up getting diagnosed at age 36 or something, having always known she was a bit different. Unbeknownst to me, my Mum watched the show too, and this spurred her on to doing the same test. Whilst not a diagnoses, the test showed her to be balls deep in the autistic spectrum, not just showing traits.

Now, since this all started with my kids, my wife and I always joked about my Mum being autistic, as we could just never understand some of the things she did or certain life choices. As time went on, we ended up believing she probably was. After she effectively self diagnosed herself (she doesn’t feel the need for any further diagnosis, as this makes sense to her), a lot of her choices and behaviours suddenly seemed explainable to me.

This has actually massively helped my relationship with my mum, as I now no longer see some of her behaviours as negative things. I understand with ADHD there’s medications you can take and that autism is completely different. But sometimes a diagnosis (formal or otherwise) can be helpful to both you and those closest to you.

 

[Mr_Cool]

I got diagnosed nearly 2 years ago now.
Primary school was bright and ahead of my class with little effort.
High school I was able to get through okay, found it hard to concentrate and revise for exams etc.
However since I was generally a quiet and non troublesome student it definitely didn't work in my favour in terms of detecting.
Got through again with the bare mimium and winging exams...passed exams but definitely didn't live up to the potential.

College and Uni is where I'm like okay there may be something going on here.
Bouts of depression and anxiety, and poor focus and executive functioning.
Insert cycles of being on/off depressants, and using the internet as a distraction and safe haven away from my day to day issues.

Had to scrap the £s and go private for the sake of my own mental health.
GP initially fobbed off my concerns about having ADHD had to go back repeatedly just to get reffered.
COVID comes around and the waiting list becomes even longer.

Sadly my life hasn't changed, the diagnosis was a massive relief but I still struggle daily and pretty much failed out of university.
Still trying to find the right medication, its like nothing works for me.
Feel like I've tried every single tip I've found online and reading through ADHD subreddit is a triggering experience.

Now trying to find my feet and land a decent job.

Think whats most frustrating about having ADHD is knowing you need to do something and actually wanting to complete it, yet feeling paralysed to the point you're losing sleep and getting stressed.
Which makes everything 100x worse.

Especially when I could easily sit down and go down a rabit hole on the internet on something irrelevant yet couldnt sit down and get assingments done etc.

One thing for sure its definitely affected my personal life and relationships etc and just general progression.
Always wonder had I known sooner even if it was 5 years ago, I would be in a much better spac.e

 

[Col_M]

I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 40. It explained a lot!

In some way I'm better off than some as I'm twice-exceptional and am pretty intelligent. I breezed through primary school and secondary school without paying much attention and was always a bit of a daydreamer. When self-study started to be a big thing in A-Levels and uni I just about scraped by because I didn't find any interest in solving problems in a workbook or doing a project to just for the end goal to be a piece of paper, I need tangible goals and outcomes for the work I do, education never really offered that. I'm just lucky to have enough intelligence to get a degree without ever really doing any revision for exams and doing all my coursework at the last minute.

Turns out that was all because of my chronic lack of dopamine and a brain that only gives me a hit when I'm doing what I want to do. I think the best way I can describe ADHD is when you're trying to write something and you can't think what to write, you know what you need to write and have the knowledge but you just have writer's block, the harder you try to think the more your brain refuses to think, that's what ADHD is like in a nutshell. You just can't pay attention to something to be able to do it, unless it interests you.

"Attention Deficit" isn't really accurate, it's more "Attention Control Disorder", I can spend days focussing on something I'm interested in, to an incredible level of understanding and detail, if I WANT to, however even the most simple tasks I NEED to do, if I have no interest in it then I'll struggle to do it. The hard thing to explain is it's not laziness, I'll think and know that "I need to take the rubbish out" in the morning, but if there is anything else that offers more interest then my brain will focus on that and I'll completely forget about taking the rubbish out because it doesn't even cross my mind. When I get into bed at night I'll finally remember "**** I forgot to take the rubbish out", the crazy thing is I can walk past and see the rubbish bag thing multiple times in a day but it never registers in my brain.

ADHD is a funny thing.

 

[LuckyBenski]

The hard thing to explain is it's not laziness, I'll think and know that "I need to take the rubbish out" in the morning, but if there is anything else that offers more interest then my brain will focus on that and I'll completely forget about taking the rubbish out because it doesn't even cross my mind. When I get into bed at night I'll finally remember "**** I forgot to take the rubbish out", the crazy thing is I can walk past and see the rubbish bag thing multiple times in a day but it never registers in my brain

I do this every ****ing day and it amazes me that I've clicked, I can literally forget to take bins out for a week. Same for flossing - I remember EVERY SINGLE NIGHT while I'm brushing my teeth, but forget by the time I've washed up and got to the bedroom. Its mental. I'm glad to see someone else gets it the same way but it's made me quite sad to reflect on it

 

[Mr_Cool]

Turns out that was all because of my chronic lack of dopamine and a brain that only gives me a hit when I'm doing what I want to do. I think the best way I can describe ADHD is when you're trying to write something and you can't think what to write, you know what you need to write and have the knowledge but you just have writer's block, the harder you try to think the more your brain refuses to think, that's what ADHD is like in a nutshell. You just can't pay attention to something to be able to do it, unless it interests you.

"Attention Deficit" isn't really accurate, it's more "Attention Control Disorder", I can spend days focussing on something I'm interested in, to an incredible level of understanding and detail, if I WANT to, however even the most simple tasks I NEED to do, if I have no interest in it then I'll struggle to do it. The hard thing to explain is it's not laziness, I'll think and know that "I need to take the rubbish out" in the morning, but if there is anything else that offers more interest then my brain will focus on that and I'll completely forget about taking the rubbish out because it doesn't even cross my mind. When I get into bed at night I'll finally remember "**** I forgot to take the rubbish out", the crazy thing is I can walk past and see the rubbish bag thing multiple times in a day but it never registers in my brain.

ADHD is a funny thing.

Summed it up perfectly.
Horrible cycle to be stuck in.

 

[Freefaller]

I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 40. It explained a lot!

In some way I'm better off than some as I'm twice-exceptional and am pretty intelligent. I breezed through primary school and secondary school without paying much attention and was always a bit of a daydreamer. When self-study started to be a big thing in A-Levels and uni I just about scraped by because I didn't find any interest in solving problems in a workbook or doing a project to just for the end goal to be a piece of paper, I need tangible goals and outcomes for the work I do, education never really offered that. I'm just lucky to have enough intelligence to get a degree without ever really doing any revision for exams and doing all my coursework at the last minute.

Turns out that was all because of my chronic lack of dopamine and a brain that only gives me a hit when I'm doing what I want to do. I think the best way I can describe ADHD is when you're trying to write something and you can't think what to write, you know what you need to write and have the knowledge but you just have writer's block, the harder you try to think the more your brain refuses to think, that's what ADHD is like in a nutshell. You just can't pay attention to something to be able to do it, unless it interests you.

"Attention Deficit" isn't really accurate, it's more "Attention Control Disorder", I can spend days focussing on something I'm interested in, to an incredible level of understanding and detail, if I WANT to, however even the most simple tasks I NEED to do, if I have no interest in it then I'll struggle to do it. The hard thing to explain is it's not laziness, I'll think and know that "I need to take the rubbish out" in the morning, but if there is anything else that offers more interest then my brain will focus on that and I'll completely forget about taking the rubbish out because it doesn't even cross my mind. When I get into bed at night I'll finally remember "**** I forgot to take the rubbish out", the crazy thing is I can walk past and see the rubbish bag thing multiple times in a day but it never registers in my brain.

ADHD is a funny thing.

Funnily enough I had a similar diagnosis at 40 (my experience through school and uni was similar) - although I'm actually borderline so technically I don't have it and have been able to self regulate through my own interventions - but just being aware of how your mind works and when you're not focussing or when you're hyperfocussing is quite interesting. My colleague is on medication for it (dopamine and norepinephrine regulation) and it transformed her work capability which is great as she's an amazing asset to my team.

I'm also quite a daydreamer, but I also can be super focussed, as a leader in delivering innovation the engineering sector it's been actually a blessing to be "slightly different" by the way I express things or the way I think to solve problems.

 

[MM-Seat]

I wouldn’t be surprised if I have it to some degree. I can be incredibly focused and crave information for things I find interesting but, struggle to get going when I start work.

I’m not sure if it’s different for others but, I’m never not thinking.

 

[ttaskmaster]

Everyone is autistic nowadays, even those who are only slightly different... Same for ADHD. It's very de rigueur...
I have loads of triggers, markers and behavioural traits that, by modern internet standards, would pin me with several mental health conditions all at once, including several different flavours of autism... but I seriously doubt I actually have any of them.

The thing to remember about all this mental health stuff is that they are disorders. Obssessive Compulsive Disorder. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder... and in order for you to actually have a disorder, it technically needs to be so severe that it prevents you from carrying out normal daily tasks and personal functions safely and without supervision (preparing a basic meal, dressing yourself, crossing the road, etc), or is associated with significantly increased risk of pain, disability, death or loss of freedom.

Most people are "on the spectrum", but they're just mildly deviant from average social norms. They don't have an actual disorder.
I think the best thing is a few sessions of cognitive behavioural therapy, which doesn't seek to label and instead is merely about exploring and understanding how your particular mind works.... because in most cases that mind does work. It works well enough that you can form friendships, get a job, take care of yourself and do all the things 'normal' people do, even if just do them slightly differently. CBT will help you figure all the personal weirdness and you'll still get that 'click' of understanding, but without having to wear badges, take meds, or look up lists of symptoms in a diagnostic manual.