Man of Honour
CBT is underrated and really helps you deal with your "quirks".
Being Diagnosed with ADHD (not medical thread)
- Thread starter randomshenans
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Soldato
Man of Honour
When discussing those three letters isn't it "kinks" rather than quirks...?
Tomato tomato....
Soldato
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- 11 Sep 2013
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If it turns you on, it's erotica.When discussing those three letters isn't it "kinks" rather than quirks...?
If it turns your partner on, it's kinky.
If it turns your mate on, it's porn.
If it turns someone else on, it's filth.
Soldato
How did you go about getting the diagnosis, im 42 and until recently just thought I was just me and that was that, but reading your description, your describing me to a T.
Speak to a doctor, I think GP's will be more understanding now.
I once told a GP I had issues concentrating and delivering work when I was in Uni, his response was genuinely 'why don't you just try to concentrate better'. I had no idea what ADHD was.
Fast forward a few years, as I mentioned above, I was speaking about unrelated matters and got referred to a specialist who diagnosed me.
At 42, a diagnosis might give you peace of mind but the medication is horrendous.
Sounds like my life story.
Managed to scrape through uni/A-levels but found GCSEs an absolute cake walk, didn't need to revise.
Tbh though I'm reluctant to get a diagnosis, I think it's just a case of relying on intelligence, when it only gets you so far, especially in work life. Discipline is more important. I can remember school reports I'd always get an A in 'attainment' but a C or D in 'effort'. I used to hate maths questions where you got marks for 'showing your working', I would say "Why does it matter as long as I got the right answer?". I never thought the effort thing mattered. But it's more important than anything else. I learned that discipline is incredibly important and I still struggle with it.
Maybe the thing about dopamine is true, I remember after I got my degree being on the phone to my Grandad and saying "I don't feel happy, proud, or anything about my accomplishment". I had no desire to celebrate, I just felt like "what now?". I didn't enjoy doing it, I didn't struggle with the understanding/learning, I struggled with the effort required to churn out coursework in things that don't interest me. That is the thing I really had to learn at university, not how to code, or computer science, but applying myself and putting in effort.
I think I've learned to live with it, if I have ADHD or some form of autism I don't know. I just don't think a diagnosis would help me much.
Unless you're looking to get medicated then I'm not sure it's particularly useful to get diagnosed with various "conditions" as an adult, any number of people can have issues with concentration, procrastination, productivity etc.. it doesn't necessarily need a special label of "ADHD", likewise, some people have issues socialising, presenting to others etc.. it doesn't necessarily need a label "autism", you can still find ways to work/cope with whatever specific issues you have whether they get assigned a label as an apparent mild manifestation of some condition or not.
If you had severe ADHD, autism, dyslexia etc.. that would have been picked up already.
ADHD is a funny one, the US has a way higher rate of diagnosis than say France, half the kids with ADHD in the US wouldn't have that label if they simply happened to live in France instead. If you're an adult and you've got all the way through school and into a career already then meh... if you're having issues with say productivity or procrastination then whether you've got a label or not you can try strategies to cope with that.
Of course, if you want certain meds that help with productivity, concentration etc.. then sure, get the label and get the prescription.
If you had severe ADHD, autism, dyslexia etc.. that would have been picked up already.
ADHD is a funny one, the US has a way higher rate of diagnosis than say France, half the kids with ADHD in the US wouldn't have that label if they simply happened to live in France instead. If you're an adult and you've got all the way through school and into a career already then meh... if you're having issues with say productivity or procrastination then whether you've got a label or not you can try strategies to cope with that.
Of course, if you want certain meds that help with productivity, concentration etc.. then sure, get the label and get the prescription.
Associate
Saw my step-daughter at the weekend. She's 27 now and has suffered from (or been treated for) anxiety and depression on and off since 18, and hardly a conversation has been had in those years without her mentioning it. Seems to be one of the ways she defines herself
Anyway, she now thinks she has ADHD and has been misdiagnosed, and A&D was a symptom of the ADHD
While outwardly supportive and sympathetic, my brain is going "Really?". We've spent cash on diagnoses and CBT, and to be fair the drugs and CBT do seem to have helped
Of course me and her mum looked up the self-diagnosis checklists and there does seem to be a lot of correlation - but as mentioned above, these lists draw the net quite widely
Apparently, getting a diagnosis for an adult through the NHS currently takes about 3 years, so in for a penny, in for a pound, we are thinking about paying for a private diagnosis
However, just looking for a diagnosis outside the NHS seems to put you on a pathway where it's in the companies' interest to diagnose what you think you have, and offer paid-for therapy/solutions
We are also concerned that getting a positive diagnosis outside the NHS will carry no weight within the NHS
Her mum's a bit skeptical about the whole thing and concerned the daughter will then self label and we'll be beaten over the head with "I've got ADHD" for the next X years
Me, I'm thinking that if it is a positive diagnosis, she'll maybe get offered a different range of drugs that would be better for her, and my perception is that people generally accept ADHD more readily that A&D
Labels and mental health...what a minefield!
Anyway, she now thinks she has ADHD and has been misdiagnosed, and A&D was a symptom of the ADHD
While outwardly supportive and sympathetic, my brain is going "Really?". We've spent cash on diagnoses and CBT, and to be fair the drugs and CBT do seem to have helped
Of course me and her mum looked up the self-diagnosis checklists and there does seem to be a lot of correlation - but as mentioned above, these lists draw the net quite widely
Apparently, getting a diagnosis for an adult through the NHS currently takes about 3 years, so in for a penny, in for a pound, we are thinking about paying for a private diagnosis
However, just looking for a diagnosis outside the NHS seems to put you on a pathway where it's in the companies' interest to diagnose what you think you have, and offer paid-for therapy/solutions
We are also concerned that getting a positive diagnosis outside the NHS will carry no weight within the NHS
Her mum's a bit skeptical about the whole thing and concerned the daughter will then self label and we'll be beaten over the head with "I've got ADHD" for the next X years
Me, I'm thinking that if it is a positive diagnosis, she'll maybe get offered a different range of drugs that would be better for her, and my perception is that people generally accept ADHD more readily that A&D
Labels and mental health...what a minefield!
Id really appreciate some advice from you guys if i may - some of the information here has really resonated. I currently manage a new apprentice Software Developer but am having real struggle engaging them with the team. Ive managed several people with ADHD before and they have been formidable developers with the correct leadership. This person had a terrible and unfortunate upbringing and being remote must be especially difficult for them, so I'm trying my absolute best to keep him on the right track in his career but its proving very difficult.
He regularly doesn't attend 1:1s, team meetings, or even turn up 'to work' (remotely on Teams) at all. When you do give him a piece of work that he completes, he does it 3x-5x faster than i'd expect. He has huge potential and understanding for his age/experience but i feel he's regularly falling into the 'not motivating' dopamine trap you guys mentioned. He gets very frustrated on anything that takes more than a few days and gets very stressed and burnt out when solving a tricky problem. His frustration comes from pandering to move onto something new.
I've tried where possible to set smaller objectives, simpler tasks, greenfield development, deadlines/no-deadlines, prototyping and all fancy new things (unfortunately to the detriment of other Devs who wish to do this), but he's still not engaging or motivated.
Any ideas on things to try would be appreciated. I've not yet addressed the elephant in the room that his behaviour isn't appropriate in a professional environment.
He regularly doesn't attend 1:1s, team meetings, or even turn up 'to work' (remotely on Teams) at all. When you do give him a piece of work that he completes, he does it 3x-5x faster than i'd expect. He has huge potential and understanding for his age/experience but i feel he's regularly falling into the 'not motivating' dopamine trap you guys mentioned. He gets very frustrated on anything that takes more than a few days and gets very stressed and burnt out when solving a tricky problem. His frustration comes from pandering to move onto something new.
I've tried where possible to set smaller objectives, simpler tasks, greenfield development, deadlines/no-deadlines, prototyping and all fancy new things (unfortunately to the detriment of other Devs who wish to do this), but he's still not engaging or motivated.
Any ideas on things to try would be appreciated. I've not yet addressed the elephant in the room that his behaviour isn't appropriate in a professional environment.
Caporegime
I often wonder if some conditions are exaggerated to simply make people feel better about having a personality quirk. We all have different traits, some negative some positive. Some present themselves more frequently or with greater magnitude at certain times in our lives.
If a label is put on something then you know, other people are the same as me and that's good. It also gives some people an excuse for their failings and removes the need to them to take responsibility, it's easier to blame xyz.
Purely anecdotal from my experiences but actually supported by some psychologists, psychiatrists and medics opinions and research, I've found that those I know diagnosed with ADHD generally came from dysfunctional family situations. A prime example being my cousin who was diagnosed with it as a child after his father left (the guy was a top tier douche). After my aunt remarried and my cousin had a proper father and stable home life his symptoms abated. This again shows to me that perhaps these are traits we all have and may be exacerbated depending upon situations we find ourselves in or some may simply be better at controlling them.
Soldato
Finally got to see a psychiatrist today but didn't get any medication because my blood pressure was through the roof. Totally nothing to do with sitting on the edge of a chair in an airless, windowless room and relying on the automatic machine to calculate it.
It reckoned something like 190/120 which I'm pretty sure is a medical emergency yet I'm still standing?!
Back to the GP to fix it I guess!
It reckoned something like 190/120 which I'm pretty sure is a medical emergency yet I'm still standing?!
Back to the GP to fix it I guess!
This is really quite ableist, and highly inaccurate. Autism is a spectrum, but you're either Autistic or you're not. Just in the same way that everyone doesn't have 'some cancer traits' or 'is a little bit on the diabetic spectrum'. The 'spectrum' part attempts to help conceptualise that it isn't linear - it's not zero to 100%, with everyone being on the scale somewhere. Rather it's a collection of neurological traits, like executive (dys)function, emotional processing dysregulation, cognitive (dys)function, ability to read emotions or facial expressions in others, verbal and non-verbal communication deficiits, proscribed and limited interests, embedded ritual and need for sameness, and a hundred others. Every Autistic person has varying amounts of ability and deficits in each area, with no one being the same as the next. So it's more like a circle cut into many slices, with each Autistic person having their own unique 'shape' graph across each area. If you're not Autistic you don't appear on the spectrum at all. See RAADS, DISCO et al.
I went through Psychiatry-UK and they orchestrated it through my GP. It was pretty straightforward and when diagnosed then transferred my care over to my regular GP.
You can see the complete process on their website, though I think the waiting list is even longer then when I did it.
Permabanned
I have only just glanced at this thread today it's not usually my cup of tea, and I appreciate it's a post you made a while ago. But, having read with interest some of your recent posts i was left feeling that here was a man who had experienced some of the darker sides of humanity and had toughened up in order not to compromise himself with their dysfunctionality. Good luck, you certainly sound like you deserve it, and and appear to be striving successfully to rid yourself of a blighted past
I often wish people of that opinion end up with an autistic grand child so they can be enlightened of how impactful having a mental disability actually is on someone's life.
Caporegime
That's great except it has nothing to do with what I said. Is your condition the inability to read and understand things?
You were agreeing with someone who suggested things like "Autism" don't need a label
Caporegime
No he's not. Read it again.
Soldato
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"you're either Autistic or you're not"
Which is exactly the point being made when I point out the difference between an actual, clinically described disorder, and someone merely using the terms improperly. Those people claiming to be "a bit OCD" about something very defininitely do NOT have Obssessive Compulsive Disorder.
You say I'm ableist, but I'm not sure you realise I'm deliberately targeting people who claim to have Autistic Spectrum Disorder, when they clearly have not even the slightest difficulty with their lives and would never be diagnosed thus by any medical professional. Same for those who claim to be dyslexic, rather than just being slower readers or academically lazy.
In short, a casual misuse and abuse of terminology* by people who haven't the first clue about what actually constitutes a mental disorder, often as an excuse for their poor behaviour, and doing a great injustice to those who actually do have such a disorder.
*"On the spectrum" being a typical example of such misuse. This time take note of the very intentional quotation marks. I used them for just such a reason.