Being Falsely Accused

Remember to prepare answers to obvious questions. Think about notable occasions that she might bring up and try to remember exactly what happened so you can say with absolute certainty what actually happened. If she's making it up then why? Have you always had a bad relationship with her? As she's mentioned you getting touchy before can you remember if you resolved to take any steps following those incidents. Make sure to get in at some point that you felt intimidated by the way the husband screamed at you and was exceptionally aggressive towards you in addition you feel victimised by these people through no fault of your own. You believe their actions to be a continuation of a series of actions that can only lead you to believe that they have some sort of personal vendetta against you for whatever reason. You find the whole process very stressful and humiliating. Say that and you'll ring about a million alarm bells with HR.
 
Just tell them you're gay and don't find her attractive at all.

Then wink at her husband.
 
first of all check out www.acas.org.uk for employment advice, they have a huge section on disciplinary procedure. If you do not have the disciplinnary procedure from work ask for a copy. If I remember rightly you can take a colleague with you or a union rep (your can not take family) this is your meeting with your employers as far as I'm aware she should not be their and under no circumstances should her husband be their.

Make sure you know your rights, check out ACAS right now.
 
Hopefully they will believe you, and it also sounds like you have cause to have a case against him saying he has intimidated / threatened you etc.

Is it possible for you to have a character witness there?
 
Thanks for all the replies, really helpful.

I will tell the truth, and make sure I have answers to the obvious questions that will arise. I will get a colleague of mine to come with me to the meeting.

Thanks once again for your replies.
 
GD needs to be divided into humour and serious - then I can alternate between the two!

I don't understand when you say "meeting" type of thing - is it a company process or a disciplinary hearing? Also, have you received a letter? If it is a hearing then her husband should not be present and it is at their discretion if you can bring someone other than a union rep or employee (though I doubt they know this if they are a small business).

If what you are saying is true you are not in the wrong but you are. The reason I say this is it depends how it is put. If you just go all out stating how cramped it is and you must brush past people even from time to time they could just say something like "Can't you just ask to move out the way" which leads on to supporting her case.

What I would not do is quote any legal words unless you know the relevance and understand them.

What I would do is listen in the meeting at what has been said and structure your wording. Deep breath, stay calm, think through before you speak etc

Ie. XXXX says you constantly push on to her

Depending on when you have done that you need to explain it in a certain way ie. There has been a time where you were in a rush and accidently miscalculated the space available and may have brushed against her - totally unintentional and a one off.

If you're useful to the company you should be ok as long as you protest your innocence.
 
In the meeting ask to speak to the supervisor without the husband present, this will make him more paranoid, then tell the supervisor that she made a pass at you and refused her. She got angry and said she'd get you fired, you would have said earlier but you where concerned that he husband would react violently.

If it all goes to plan you keep yer job and they have marital problems for a few months years/ divorce :D
 
One thing I would say is never admit to questions such as "Did you brush up against her". Obviously they won't be as clumsily worded as that though.

Answer questions like that by saying "I did not intentionally touch *insert her name*"
 

Well, I was called by my supervisor and he said that there is a meeting on Wednesday, in between 12 and 12:30pm.

I know what you mean about asking to move out of the way. Firstly, I do say 'excuse me', but half the time she doesn't understand. Secondly, if I did this everytime it would take ages, and thus tables wouldn't be layed.

I know exactly where you're coming from.

I've been told by my mates Mum (who also works there as a night manager), this has happened before with another immirgrant couple, and the accused left and then their friend took the place. I am not saying this is the same, but it suspicious.

P.S - I also agree about serious and humour GD.
 
Okay in all seriousness. Take a friend along for moral support, if you happen to have a friend who understands spanish that's even better.

Are there any other people where you work that can back you up about the cramped conditions and how difficult it is to move around without occasionally bumping into eachother?

I work in a restaurant where it does get quite crowded on busy nights, with 3 of us working in a small space behind the bar. I've "bumped into and brushed" a fair few female (and male) co-workers, it's just what happens in a confined space.
 
Dont take this lightly, a record for sexual 'abuse' could mean more than just this small job! it will damage you for life.

Read up, take someone with you who can take notes, make sure its all official and by the book. After you win then just leave and get another bar/hotel job, not worth staying there if her and her husband are still about.
 
You dont have a case to answer you just state you have not intentionally touched anybody and have always endeavored to be polite and courteous and respectful of other employees especially the personal space of the female staff bearing in mind the cramped conditions. Then you hit them with the fact you have been verbally abused/threatened by her partner which is the same as her doing it herself and she now has to answer those allegations.
Threatening another employee is gross misconduct and immediate dismissal.
 
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