Kind of dreading the scales on Monday when i'm back at my rental again. I know i said i was hopeful of getting under 100kg, but i've treated this trip as a bit of a holiday with booze as we're in a small tourist village by the coast, so lots of restaurants and bars to visit.
For those of you who have had extended periods of wanting to sort things out, but putting it off and not doing what you know is needed. How did you snap out of it? My main issue is that i had great success years ago coming from around 110kg down to 93kg, then did so much exercise each week that i ended up eating a lot to replace lost calories and generally was able to out train a poor diet. Along with also having the mindset of someone who enjoyed running a lot and so was so excited at the thought of getting up at 4am on a Weekend morning to go and run in the mountains for 10 hours that there was no time to consume unhealthy food or alcohol at the times when there's usually the biggest risk. I'd often then come home and eat a takeaway pizza, but it didn't matter as i'd have burnt more than enough calories.
Since my injury i just can't motivate myself. I do bits of exercise of maybe 2-3 hours a week in total, but not like i used to, and low enough volume that i could easily drink over a bottle of wine one night and then do an hours run or 2 hour bike ride the next morning. So there's not that side of things to motivate me.
I know that there's a good chance that losing some weight and doing strength work might actually help my foot and allow me to run a bit more, but i just don't seem to be able to snap my brain into being healthy for more than a few days at a time before i lapse and have a day of consuming around 5000kcal and undo everything that i've done the prior week.
It was certainly easier in the UK where it wasn't as easy to go out for a bit and drop over a bar where i can have a cold beer sat outside and then order some fried chicken wings or something and only pay around €3 in total, but it's been 5 months now and i need to get into a routine which is sustainable, so that's not a valid excuse.
I do go through phases of calorie counting as i know it's useful, and it has been for me in the past, but even there, my brain just doesn't seem to care like it once did. If i look at the app at the end of the day and it says i'm 1000kcal over my target, i just kind of shrug and lie to myself it won't happen again.
I know something needs to change, and that it's 100% mental. I just need to try and understand what that is. I've even been the same with actual exercise, i think i'll do a long bike ride/hike at the weekend and look forward to it, and plan out routes etc, then Friday night rolls around. I'll finish work, open wine, have rum, then wake up and put it off till the next day, only to spend the day drinking and being super unhealthy again!
Reading the above makes it sound like it's an alcohol dependancy thing, but i'm fairly sure it's not that. I'm happy to have a single beer in isolation or have 0% beers as a choice over alcoholic ones. Likewise i can easily not drink if there are reasons not to, and have cut down a lot from where i was and now it's probably more a case of binge drinking causing the issues at weekends rather than regular consumption. It's something else that's missing that seems to be causing it. Partly i think it's me mourning not being able to do something i loved, but that i need to snap myself out of and just accept it.
